The Pulse 11.02 » January 9, 2014

music the nim nims arts going old school with open press screen wall st wolf

January 9-15

chattanooga’s weekly alternative

Vol. 11 • no. 2 on the beatthe coldnado

warming up to street life

toddstaileyaward-winning

with

tn aquariumphotographer

oneonone

by jennifer crutchfield

2 • The Pulse • January 9-15, 2014 • chaTTanoogaPulse.com

chaTTanoogaPulse.com • January 9-15, 2014 • The Pulse • 3

brewer media groupPublisher & President Jim Brewer II

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ContributorsRich Bailey • Rob Brezsny • Jennifer crutchfield

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THe FiNe priNT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer media and is distributed throughout the city of chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. no person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. contents copyright © 2014 by Brewer media. all rights reserved.

JANUARY

20149 Contents

annuaL

COFFEE ISSuE

next Week in The pulse

Aquarium photographer Todd Stailey captures the wonders of underwater worlds

FISH ARE FRIENDS

By Jennifer Crutchfield

HappeningsTHE BOWL: Divine Dancing... Paddleboarding in winter... Tastefully twisted recipes

THE LIST: The River City Sessions

LIVE MuSIC CaLEnDar

arTS & EnTErTaInMEnT CaLEnDar

FeaturesMuSIC: Meeting The Nim Nims (parking lots aside, this local band is rocking solid)

SCrEEn: The "Wolf of Wall Street” eviscerates unbridled greed

FrEE WILL aSTrOLOGy

JOnESIn' CrOSSWOrD

VoicesaLEX TEaCH: Offering cold comfort to the ladies of the street

SanDra KurTZ: Green goals to make this year a turning point

LETTERPRESS PRINTINGA vinyl moment with the artisanal devotees at The Open Press

By Rich Bailey


Chinese theatre extends back more than 5,000 years, more recently flower-ing in the Peking (now Beijing) Opera—and its eye-popping acrobatics and over-the-top dramatics inspired no less than Cirque du Soleil.

Here in town, we’ve got one night to see a New York-based descendant of the tra-dition, which blends dance (both classical and folk), music and martial arts.

“Shen Yun” will light up the Tivoli at 7:30 p.m. on Tues., Jan. 14 only, bringing a live orchestra and performers whose ex-traordinary skills will amaze you. In Eng-lish, “shen yun” translates approximately to “the beauty of divine beings dancing.” Not far off in this show.

$50-$120. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 642-TIXS, chattanoogaonstage.com

As this is being written, the last thing anyone in their right mind would be con-sidering (and we do not consider mem-bers of the Polar Bear Club to be in their right minds) is standing upright on a board in the middle of the Tennessee Riv-er. Instant icicle is the phrase that seems apropos.

But as Shelley reminds us, “O wind, if winter comes/Can spring be far behind?”

Keeping that in mind as we pile on 12 layers of clothing, it is not too soon to think about spring sports, and the hot-test one around is SUP—as in Stand-Up Paddleboarding.

Outdoor Chattanooga is providing an opportunity to learn about this every-thing-old-is-new-again sport (immortal-ized by Chattanooga’s own Ben Friberg in his record-setting Cuba-to-Florida paddle). And it’s free and you do not have to get wet.

On Thursday, Jan. 16, from 6-8 p.m., Mark Baldwin of L2Boards will talk to interested future SUP-ers about the types of boards, essential equipment beyond the board, and how to get started SUP-ing—in the spring. All ages are welcome.

Outdoor Chattanooga, 200 River St. (423) 643-6888, online at outdoorchat-tanooga.com

How many of you out there are aware that the people behind a very well known art gallery here in town also have a line of tasty condiments?

Here’s your chance to find out all about that venture into the art of cuisine—as well as help decide a contest: Shuptrine’s Twisted recipe contest. Shuptrine folks reviewed recipes using Twisted relishes, salad dressings and marinades and “juic-es.”

Five finalists were selected and will Iron Chef-it against each other from 5:30 to 8 p.m. on Tuesday, Jan. 14 to determine the ultimate winner, who gets $250. Au-dience members will help select the best brew pairings with each recipe.

The throw-down happens at Strum-haus Beer Market, 1120 Houston St, #120. Visit shuptrinestwistedproducts.com for more info.

CHaTTaNooga’S weekLy aLTerNaTiVeNewS • CommeNTary • buLLeTiNS& puSH NoTiFiCaTioNS aT diaL-up SpeedFaCEBOOK/chaTTanoogaPulse • TWITTEr @chaTTaPulseEMaIL loVe leTTeRs, aDVIce & TRash TalK To [email protected]

THEBOWL

TwiSTed reCipe CoNTeST

Tasteful Art

deFiNiNg SHeN yuN

Divine Dancing

paddLeboard baSiCS

What’s SUP?


Saving Mobile Lives

1906 Gunbarrel Rd.423-486-1668

(Next to GiGi’s Cupcakes)cellphonerepair.com/chattanooga

M-F 10am-7pm Sat: 11a-4pmClosed Sunday

THELISTPulse »piCkS• A curated weekly selection of picks from the Chattanooga Live and Arts & Entertainment calendars by Pulse staffers.

THU1.09THaT'S goTTa HurT

Steve O • The maniacal genius of "Jackass" legend, a man made famous for inflicting pain on himself for TV notoriety, steve o tries his hand at stand-up.7:30 p.m. • The comedy catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com

bLoNde CoNCreTe

Johnette napalitano• The concrete Blonde frontwoman takes her solo acoustic show on the road with an evening of old favorites and new tunes, and maybe even a little Flamenco dancing.8 p.m. • Rhythm & Brews, 221 market st. (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.com

fri1.10Super modeLiNg

Chattanooga Model Con• model con is a scale model contest held each year in January by chattnanooga scale modelers IPms / amPs club. Fun for kids and adults who still like being kids.2 p.m. • chattanooga convention center, 1100 carter st., (423) 649-2496.

roCk-N-roLL aLL NigHT

Elkmilk, Scenic, Penicillan Baby, Western Medication• Four great bands who know how to turn it up to 11 team up for a great night of rock-n-roll the way it was meant to be played: loud and proud.10 p.m. • JJ’s Bohemia, 231 e. mlK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com

saT1.11Creepy FuN For kidS

“Skullduggery: How to ID an animal Skull”• Find a skull, but don’t know what animal it’s from? learn how to tell the difference during their basic skull I.D. class. sure it's a bit creepy, but what kid doesn't like creepy?2:30 p.m. • chattanooga nature center, 400 garden Rd. (423) 821-1160, chattanooganaturecenter.org

CHaTTaNooga uNpLugged

Patten unplugged: Lon Eldridge• The "Ragtime Raconteur" brings his intricate fingerstyle guitar work and clever and thought-provoking lyrics to the Patten unplugged series.7 p.m. • uTc Fine arts center, Vine & Palmetto sts. (423) 425-4249, tickettracks.com

Southern Culture Reclaimed and Unchained

The monthly gathering of southern culture at The camp house features a stellar lineup including Russell gulley, gob-blers Knob string Band, Rick Davis, and poet and storyteller Finn Bille.

Russell gulley (above) was a founding member of Jackson highway, part of the legendary collection of studio musi-cians who helped to put the famous muscle shoals record-ing studio on the musical map.

gobblers Knob string Band is the most popular band in licklog, georgia. need we say more?

Finn Bille is a poet, educator, internationally known story-teller. a member of the southern order of story Tellers, he will be teaming up with hammered dulcimer master Rick Da-vis for a combination of poetry and Irish, scottish, english, and american old-Time music.

The river City Sessions 7:30 p.m. The camp house, 1427 Williams st, (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.com

is looking for a few good

writersCan you craft a compelling 650-word short featureor pro�le—and a longer, in-depthfeature worthy ofour cover? If so, let’s talk. The Pulse is seeking a fewgood freelance writers to join our stable of news, feature, music, political, fashion and arts writers. We reward our writers with fair pay and a showcase for their skills.

If you’ve got the “write stu�,” we want your voice in The Pulse. Email samples of your best clips along with a brief bio to:[email protected]


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It was the whores I was worried about.

Temperatures were dropping to alarming levels, as low as five degrees in the next 48 hours, and the tightening of my jaw was nearly audible in the team office.

“Sweet Jesus,” I said. “My hookers!”

I was neither a participant nor a profiteer in the skin trade, but I had taken it upon myself long ago to be the guardian of our town’s whores. Most of my brothers and sisters shied away from them as a rule, but even in my earliest days I knew that these wretched specimens were in dire need of a champion.

As a member of the “COPS” television crew once objectively pointed out, the city of Chattanooga has, by far, the ugliest prostitutes in this great nation of ours. And I’m not talking about unattractive here, I’m talking ugly: The kind of ugly that could make a Happy Meal cry, or Barack Obama lose hope. The kind of ugly that makes a pillow cry in advance...

I’m talking pure horror here. As such, these ladies would

have a hard time getting a date at the Humane Society. Couple that with some high-metabolizing addictions and a cargo ship container full of daddy issues and you have an entire demographic that needs looking after, and not with a lot of interested parties to do so. So I knew that the first time I had to choke back both tears and vomit on a chance meeting during training years ago that I had found my niche.

And no, not as some kind of Robin Hood of Pimps; nothing trashy like that. I just knew that I was to be The Whore King.

My ladies of the walking dead range from 16 to 60, and while they are usually adept at finding regular shelter, I still make my rounds as best I can. All hookers have a preternatural gift for disappearing into thin air upon an attempted second viewing by anyone who wasn’t sure on the first viewing if they just saw a whore or not. But that doesn’t mean there is always room at the inn for these ladies, and it’s even more dangerous with temperatures this low combined with rain, because of the predilection some folks have for running close to the curb to splash a wall of water on them from the gutter, because hey, “Wet hooker!”

Funny stuff, granted, but they’ve already given every ounce of body fat to that sweet, sweet mistress, methamphetamines, so they’re just not in much physical condition to deal with that kind

of thing in general.“Whore blankets,” I said.

“Come on, guys, got any blankets? Like those old wool Army ones they’d give out now and then?”

I was actually talking about some old civil defense blankets they’d gotten out of an old Cold War-era emergency operations center below the jail for just this kind of occasion, but who cared? A blanket’s a blanket at five degrees when you still have shorts and sandals on (and a set of dirty tracked-up knees and feet between them). I got no response.

“What’s with you and the prostitutes anyway, man?” I received instead from a 20-something who’d been on our shift a few weeks now.

I closed my eyes and began speaking before opening them. “They’re not called ‘prostitutes’, Thompson. These are hookers.” I probably had to have this talk with someone every few weeks.

“Prostitutes are attractive. Pricey. Decent folks,” I went on.

“These girls around here? These are hookers. Prostitutes are hot, and they aren’t considered ‘hookers’ until they are found dead. These girls? Already dead. Well, practically. Get it straight.” I paused to regain my composure.

“Whore coats and whore blankets, folks. Keep an eye out for me, will ya?” A few heads nodded, and that would just have to do.

I pulled the rare toboggan onto my head (I don’t like things touching my head, much less hugging it—go easy on me) and headed out into the world to begin my rounds.

Everybody needs a champion.The whores had me, and that

would just have to do.

On the Beat aLex TeaCH

Freeze Warning, aka “Coldnado”

“A blanket’s a blanket at five degrees when you still have shorts and sandals on (and a set of dirty tracked-up knees and feet between them).”

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Facebook at www.facebook.com/alexteach

Officer Alex offers cold comfort to the ladies of the street


In March of 1992, Chatta-nooga had a dream. The Tennessee Aquarium would anchor a revitalization that could change the city—and Todd Stailey wanted to

work there. Now, 22 years later, the iconic six glass peaks sit atop the River Journey and Ocean Journey buildings, the Tennessee Aquarium brings Chattanooga an annual economic impact of ap-proximately $77.4 million dollars and it has become a “cathedral of conservation.” And Todd Stailey has not only achieved his dream of working at the Aquarium but has also become an award-win-ning photographer.

Todd was a “runner”, serving as a courier for local law firms and doubling as a process server when he applied to work at the Tennessee Aquarium. He didn’t care what job he got. At the time, the Aquarium was still several months away from opening and administrators didn’t even real-ize they would need a dedicated mailroom. When Todd applied, they created a position and the Boyd-Buchanan graduate, a na-tive of Tiftonia, went to work set-ting up a mailroom and protocols that are still used.

Todd is best described as a

go-getter—and the Tennessee Aquarium is a nonprofit with an eye for making the most of the talents of its employees. When the staff noticed Todd taking pictures, they gave him a camera and a strobe light and put him to work. There was no staff photog-rapher at the time, and without a local network of wildlife aquari-um photographers to learn from, Todd’s work was experimental. As usual, he dove into his new role. Now his mixture of art and photojournalism inspires wonder and appreciation, while also help-ing guests identify species.

Today, Todd wins awards for his pictures, and was just named by the Association of Zoos and Aquariums as the 2013 Photo Contest Winner for his photo of the spine-cheeked anemonefish. Capturing animals on film can be tricky—and in an aquarium en-vironment, it is even more chal-lenging. Reflecting on that photo, Todd says, “This fish is usually quite shy, but for some reason he decided to come right out and pose for me. Sometimes, catching a great shot involves a little luck.”

If a photograph is worth a thousand words, Todd’s body of work would fill volumes. The Tennessee Aquarium is a multi-media venue, and Todd supports the Aquarium’s mission by photo-graphing all of the animals for the animal ID panels, managing and maintaining all of the A/V equip-ment and providing the construc-tion and maintenance of the dive communications system that al-lows guests to interact with the divers in the aquarium exhibits. Todd is also passionate about his role supporting the Tennessee Aquarium Conservation Insti-tute and his photographs may help introduce the importance of conservation to a new generation of Americans.

toddstaileyAquarium photographer Todd Stailey captures the wonders of underwater worldsby jennifer crutchfield

oneonone

photos by Todd Stailey


The Coosa River Basin has been the site of 41 out of the 72 documented mollusk extinctions in North America and the Tennessee Aquarium Conservation Institute is working to halt those tragedies through scien-tific research, ecosystem restoration, education programs and public outreach. TNACI was able to restore more than 150,000 imperiled mus-sels and snails to their native homes in the Mo-bile and Tennessee riv-ers. Its focus on ichthyol-ogy continues to impact what’s known about pop-ulation health and evo-lutionary pathways for southeastern fish. The recent release of South-ern Appalachian brook trout fry was the culmi-nation of the first time

that they have ever been raised in a closed-circu-lation system. Todd’s eye for capturing wildlife brings focus on these ef-forts and introduces new warriors to the battle for conservation.

Jackson Andrews, the Aquarium’s director of husbandry and opera-tions says, “The size and design of our exhibits gives our visitors the chance to experience an ecosystem in a way that, until now, only div-ers could.” Todd Stailey takes that experience and shares it with the world, educating and engaging people from all over about our water-ways, environment and the species that live with-in it, building bridges to a healthier and more vi-brant future for us, our

children and our Tennes-see Valley community.

photo Tips from ToddTaking photographs

at an aquarium can be tricky. Here are some tips from Todd so that you and your family can create lasting memories of your trip to Chatta-nooga’s famous aquari-um.

1. Capturing great im-ages through the acrylic panels at the Aquarium is challenging. Reflec-tions can appear from a variety of sources—gal-lery graphic panels, light-ing from other exhibits and even reflections of

you. To avoid reflections in your photos try these tips.

First of all, do the ob-vious...take a minute to stand back and look for any reflections in the acrylic. This will help you eliminate the majority of problematic reflections in your photos.

Second, using a flash (where allowed) can in-troduce even more reflec-tions and enhance subtle reflections and make them more of a problem. So, you might try captur-ing images without using your flash.

Third, use a telephoto lens. You can zoom in

tight on your subject and drastically reduce the area for reflections to show up in your photo.

2. Shoot perpendicu-lar to the acrylic. This is important. You always should shoot as perpen-dicular to the acrylic as possible to attain the sharpest focus. When you shoot at an angle through the acrylic, it softens and can distort your image. The greater the angle, the greater the effect.

3. Let your subject get close. When photograph-ing the animals in our exhibits, you want your subject to be close to the acrylic. You will have much sharper focus this way. You are not only

shooting through the acrylic but also through a large volume of water. This can cause images to appear soft and distort-ed. The more water you shoot through, the softer and more distorted your image will be. So, let them get close before you trip that shutter release.

Jennifer Crutchfield is a Chattanooga native and mother to three sons. Jennifer is the Director of Communications and Community Engage-ment at WTCI, is the author of “Chattanooga Landmarks” and has served as a relocation agent for global families transferring to Chatta-nooga since 2009.

“His mixture of art and photojournalism inspires wonder and appreciation, while also helping guests identify species.


Music marC T. miCHaeL

Meeting The Nim NimsParking lots aside, this local band is rocking solid

IN THE INTEREST OF FULL DISCLO-sure I feel compelled to say that my very first meeting with the Nim Nims did

not go so well. It wasn’t their fault, it wasn’t my fault. It was really the fault of the loud-mouthed fraudulent promoter/restaurateur who had triple-booked the venue that night while promising each band at least four times as much as any venue that size could have rea-sonably paid. It seems none of us had learned the, “If it sounds too good to be true” maxim yet.

My band rolled in to the crowded parking lot. The parking lot was crowded mainly because of the other two bands unloading THEIR equipment. Inquiries were made, opinions exchanged and shortly thereafter we left to do an impromptu show at The Local Performance Hall. I don’t know if the Nim Nims toughed it out at the origi-nal venue that night or went their own way, but for a short while thereafter whenever I heard mention of the band I would think, “Oh, those guys…”

That was wrong of me, of course; they hadn’t tried to beat us out of a gig, they had been given the same line of rectally ad-ministered smoke we had. Fortunately, it wasn’t very long before we wound up play-ing at the same festival and I actually got to hear them. I was so impressed with the performance I finally realized my lingering resentment was entirely misplaced.

After the gig, I related this story and of-fered my most heartfelt apologies and sin-cere respect and appreciation for their art. As I was drinking more in those days it is entirely likely that I delivered that mono-logue to a denim jacket hanging on the back of a chair—but it’s the thought that


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Wed, Jan 8Thu, Jan 9

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Nosecone Prophets, Toxic Shock & Hill St Hooligans [$5]Vagabond Philosophy with The Vino Takes [$3]

Live Trivia every Sunday from 4-6pm, followed by Free Live MusicSunday, January 12: The Bumper Jackson

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counts, after all. All of this brings us to the matter

at hand: the Nim Nims’ most re-cent album, Baristas, Fashionistas and Mother Teresas. There are nine tracks on this album and not a weak one in the bunch. The entire album is rock solid and covers a lot of ground, musically speaking.

The opening track, “Recognition” is an acoustic anthem, a tribute to the underappreciated that evokes overtones of Damien Rice and the singer/songwriter genre as a whole. I’m not going to try and interpret it here; that’s the listener’s privilege, but I feel certain that the tune is a deeply personal one drawn from re-al-life experience.

Track Two is “Found,” a dreamy and trance-like love song that begins with a simple droning repetition, quickly stacking layer upon layer until it climaxes in a lush wall of sound (and a cigarette, most likely). There is no mimicry in the tune but one suspects that at least one member of the band is a fan of Elliott Smith.

Track Three, “A Time or Two,” is a departure from the more somber tone of the first two cuts, replete with a brass section and a punchy rhythm. It’s a downright jaunty tune, the sort of thing you might hum to your-self while strolling down the sidewalk in spring— earworm material to be sure.

Since I’ve already played “guess the influence” with the other two tracks, I may as well go ahead and say that this tune reminded me so much of Del Amitri I had to go back and listen to that one song they had in 1995.

It is with Track Three that you first realize what the unifying thread is with the music of the Nim Nims.

Each track is brilliant in its own right, but each track is so stylistically different you might not guess it was the same band. That isn’t a slight—I say it with the utmost respect—it’s a testament to the flexibility and creativity of the band. Regardless of instrumentation or influence or approach, the one thing you can count on in every Nim Nims songs is clever, well-written lyrics.

It’s no secret I’m a “words” kind of guy. I’ll take strong lyrics over any-thing else every time, and the Nim Nims deliver in spades with lyrics that are catchy and clever; poignant without being heavy-handed.

“I was a hipster, you were a hip-pie” may not sound like the open-ing of a literary masterpiece, but the tune goes on to paint a familiar and charming picture of twenty-somethings struggling for identity while awkwardly going through the motions in coffee shops, campuses and bars. In less skilled hands, this would be a cliché, but the boys breathe life into it so that I would dare anyone “of a certain age” to hear it and NOT smile wistfully. Perhaps it takes another 20 years of living to appreciate the wonder of being 20, but the band has genu-

inely captured a slice of life in this track.There are six more tracks on this album, and I have

run out of time and space to tell you how great they all are, so I suppose it is hackneyed metaphor time. It is like a box of chocolates, minus the god-awful coconut-filled travesties. You never know what you’re going to get, but every track is a winner.

Overall the album has (to me) a very ’90s feel, and that isn’t a bad thing at all. The ’90s produced some truly phenomenal music, and I suspect that the boys in the band drew some inspiration from that period of musical history.

Fortunately for you, dear reader, the Nim Nims are still one of the most popular and active bands in the area, so catching a live show should be no prob-lem. Their discography is widely available online. Frankly, I can’t wait to see what they do next.

“Fortunately for you, dear reader, the Nim Nims are still one of the most popular and active bands in the area, so catching a live show should be no problem.


LIVE MUSIC

CHATTANOOGA

JANUARY

1.23 DARK HORSE TEN with BIRDS WITH FLEAS 1.24 BACK IN BLACK: A TRIBUTE TO ACDC

9THU9pJOHNETTE NAPALITANO

from CONCRETE BLONDE

10FRI10pMACHINES

CHATTANOOGA'S FAVORITE PARTY BAND

11SAT9:30pTHE MACHINE

A PINK FLOYD EXPERIENCE

15WED9pDRAKE WHITE

and THE BIG FIRE

16THU9pOF MONTREAL

with WILD MOCCASINS

17FRI9:30pWE WILL ROCK YOU

A TRIBUTE TO THE MUSIC OF QUEEN

18SAT10pJERRY GARCIA BAND

TRIBUTE BAND FROM ATHENS, GA

ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE

221 MARKET STREETHOT MUSIC • FINE BEER • GREAT FOOD

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COMING IN FEB

8SAT8pMUSIC FOR MUTTS

ANIMAL RESCUE BENEFIT CONCERT

DRIVIN N CRYINwith THE HEAD 7FRI

9:30p

ARE PEOPLE TOO

Chattanooga Live muSiC CaLeNdar

James Legg Machines are People Too

THUrsday 1.09

“Pickin’ at the Post” with Bluegrass bands5 p.m. american legion Post 95, 3329 Ringgold Rd. (423) 624-9105, americanlegionpost95.orgScenic City roots: Big Kitty, Striking Matches, ashley Monroe, Ben Sollee6 p.m. Track 29, 1400 market st. (423) 266-4323, sceniccityroots.comBluegrass and Country Jam6:30 p.m. grace nazarene church, 6310 Dayton Blvd. hixson. (423) 842-5919, chattanoogagrace.comCourtney Daly with Ivan Wilson7 p.m. Bart’s lakeshore, 5840 lake Resort Terr. (423) 870-0777, bartslakeshore.comJimmy Harris7 p.m. The coconut Room at The Palms at hamilton, 6925 shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.comJonathan Wimpee7 p.m. sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad st. (423) 508-8956, sugarsribs.comSoddy-Daisy Jamboree7 p.m. soddy-Daisy community center, 9835 Dayton Pk.

(423) 332-5323 Bluegrass Jam7 p.m. Poppy's smokehouse, 2102 Taft hwy, signal mountain, (423) 305-1936,poppysq.com Tim neal and Mike Harris7:30 p.m. mexi-Wing VII, 5773 Brainerd Rd. (423) 509-8696,mexiwingviichattanooga.comSouthside Casual Classics7:30 p.m. The camp house, 1427 Williams st. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.comrichie ragsdale7:30 p.m. The Brew and cue, 5017 Rossville Blvd. (423) 867-9402Johnette napalitano (of Concrete Blonde)8 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 market st. (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.comOpen Mic with Hap Henniger9 p.m. The office, 901 carter st. (inside Days Inn) (423) 634-9191.James Legg, alcohol Stunt Band9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 e. mlK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.comVagabond Philosophy, The Vino Takes9 p.m. The honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192, thehonestpint.com

friday 1.10

Charley yates4:30 p.m. Wimpie’s country Restaurant, 9826 Dayton Pk. (423) 332-6201 Jason Thomas – The Man in Black Tribute5 p.m. chattanooga choo choo—Victorian lounge, 1400 market st. (423) 266-5000,choochoo.comDanny Sample/Dave Walters5 p.m. 212 market, 212 market st. (423) 265-1212, 212market.comThe Silver Creek Band5 p.m. american legion Post 95, 3329 Ringgold Rd. (423) 624-9105, americanlegionpost95.orgEddie Pontiac5:30 p.m. el mason, 2204 hamilton Pl. Blvd. (423) 894-8726, elmesonrestaurant.comTim Lewis5:30 p.m. el mason hixson, 248 northgate mall. (423) 710-1201Binji Varsossa6 p.m. cancun mexican Restaurant and lounge, 1809 Broad st. (423) 266-1461Jimmy Harris7 p.m. The coconut Room at The Palms at hamilton,

6925 shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.comriver City Sessions7:30 p.m., The camp house, 1427 Williams st. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.com“Mountain Opry” Bluegrass and mountain music8 p.m. Walden’s Ridge civic center, 2501 Fairmount Pk. (423) 886-3252Crosstown Traffic8 p.m. VFW hall, 3370 n. ocoee st., cleveland.1 Shot Ellie8:30 p.m. Jack a’s chop shop saloon, 742 ashland Terr. (423) 713-8739, jackaschopshopsaloon.comPower Players9:30 p.m. sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad st. (423) 508-8956, sugarsribs.comStatue of Liberty9 p.m. The office, 901 carter st. (inside Days Inn), (423) 634-9191 Elkmilk, Scenic, Penicillan Baby, Western Medication10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 e. mlK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.comMachines are People Too10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 market st. (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.com


Chattanooga Live muSiC CaLeNdar

The Machine Pop Evil

saTUrday 1.11

Jason Thomas – The Man in Black Tribute5 p.m. chattanooga choo choo—Victorian lounge, 1400 market st. (423) 266-5000,choochoo.comEddie Pontiac5:30 p.m. el mason, 2204 hamilton Pl. Blvd. (423) 894-8726, elmesonrestaurant.com Tim Lewis5:30 p.m. el mason hixson, 248 northgate mall. (423) 710-1201 Binji Varsossa6 p.m. cancun mexican Restaurant and lounge, 1809 Broad st. (423) 266-1461Patten unplugged: Lon Eldridge7 p.m. uTc Fine arts center, Vine & Palmetto sts. (423) 425-4249, tickettracks.comJimmy Harris7 p.m. The coconut Room at The Palms at hamilton, 6925 shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.comabbey road LIVE!7 p.m. Track 29, 1400 market st. (423) 266-4323, track29.coEmily Hearn, Darren Johson Effort7 p.m. The camp house,

1427 Williams st. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.comThe Hopeful Country Band7 p.m. Troy's Place, 320 emerson Dr, Ringgold, ga (423) 965-8346Grown azz8 p.m. VFW hall, 3370 n. ocoee st. cleveland Tn,(423) 476-8442 The Countrymen Band8 p.m. eagles club, 6128 airways Blvd. (423) 894-9940The Machine: a Pink Floyd Experience8 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 market st. (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.comDJ Hitman8:30 p.m. Jack a’s chop shop saloon, 742 ashland Terr. (423) 713-8739, jackaschopshopsaloon.comFull axess8:30 p.m. american legion, 227 James asbury Dr nW,cleveland, Tn. (423) 476-4451SrO Band9:30 p.m. sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad st. (423) 508-8956, sugarsribs.comShe-She Dance10 p.m. The office, 901 carter st. (inside Days Inn) (423) 634-9191 Soul Survivor10 p.m. Bud’s sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Road (423) 499-9878,

budssportsbar.comFuture Virgins, Bohannons10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 e. mlK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.comDuane Cliatt10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 chestnut st. (423) 266-4240, tboneschattanooga.com

sUnday 1.12

Jam Session2 p.m. chattanooga Folk school, 1200 mountain creek Rd., suite 130. (423) 867-3092Open Jam Session5 p.m. cheap seats sports Bar, 2925 Rossville Blvd. (423) 629-5636. The Bumper Jacksons, The 9th Street Stompers7 p.m. The honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192, thehonestpint.comPop Evil8 p.m. Track 29, 1400 market st. (423) 266-4323, track29.co

monday 1.13

Babershop Harmony Group7 p.m. all saints academy, 310 east 8th st. (423) 876-7359 Monday night Big Band

11 a.m. The coconut Room at The Palms at hamilton, 6925 shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.com

TUesday 1.14

Wendell Mathhews7 p.m. north chatt cat, 246 Frazier ave. (423) 266-9426Open Mic with Mike McDade9 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 hixson Pike. (423) 266-1996,tremonttavern.com

wednesday 1.15

Wilkesview9 p.m. The honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192, thehonestpint.comDrake White, The Big Fire9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 market st. (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.comTest Dream10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 e. mlK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: [email protected].

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Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm$1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts,

$2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

901 Carter St(Inside Days Inn)423-634-9191

Thursday, January 9: 9pmOpen Mic with Hap Henninger

Friday, January 10: 9pmStatue Of Liberty

(from Boulder, Colorado)Saturday, January 11: 10pm

She-She DanceTuesday, January 14: 7pm

Server/Hotel Appreciation Night$5 Pitchers ● $2 Wells ● $1.50 Domestics


Dan Bejar, the consistent member of the Vancou-ver concern Destroyer,

wrote, “It was 2013. The English language seemed spent, despi-cable, not easily singable. It felt over for English...” You read it here, folks—English is over.

Having created no fewer than two masterpieces over the last half-dozen years (Destroyer’s Rubies and Kaputt), perhaps Bejar needed a break, a cleans-ing of the palate and something new to try, and the new EP Five Spanish Songs serves that purpose, which solely consists (apart from a throwaway 46-sec-ond track of conga drums) of covers of songs by the Spanish musician Antonio Luque of the band Sr. Chinarro.

Bejar is at the point in his ca-reer where he pretty much has carte blanche to try anything he damn well pleases, and nev-ertheless, this may seem like an

odd move; one of Destroyer’s strong points is its enigmatic, crafted lyric-work, and with these five songs sung in Span-ish, Bejar is apparently leaning toward extra obliqueness rather than clarity.

This writer is reminded of the cryptic book Codex Seraphini-anus by Luigi Serafini, written in a completely undecipherable, invented language in order to invoke the sensation of being a toddler looking at a book with fascination, not yet understand-ing the words on the pages.

However, this EP is not unde-cipherable; that’s what Google Translate is for. Perhaps some-thing is lost in translation, but the opening middle-of-the-road rock of “Maria de las nieves” of-fers a puzzling portrait of “prac-titioners of a weird religion, as a beautiful nun.” “Del monton” delivers a jaunty strum for its seaside setting, speaking of a gi-

ant pumpkin and Franz Kafka, and the glam-pop of “El rito” and upbeat “Babieca” push the album along with an infectious spirit.

It’s an EP in the “Oh, why not?” category that ostensibly serves up easy pleasures but un-derneath offers obscure head-scratchers.

The Philadelphia five-piece band Bardo Pond, active for over two de-

cades, has formulated its own fuzzy, monumental rock with a sound that might be considered the theoretical confluence of the heavy sludge of The Melvins, the psychedelia of Spacemen 3, a hippie cult and a roomful of pharmaceuticals.

Imagine long Neil Young and Crazy Horse jams with more fried-sounding guitar work and towering projections of power, proceeding at a dirge pace. The

new 5-song full-length album, Peace on Venus, unrolls the in-terstellar magic carpet with “Kali Yuga Blues,” named after the stage of spiritual degenera-tion in Hinduism that the Earth is apparently currently experi-encing; it sets the stage aestheti-cally for the album, with energy-sustaining distorted guitar licks from brothers Michael and John Gibbons, the rhythm section of bassist Clint Takeda and drum-mer Jason Kourkonis and vocal-ist/flutist Isobel Sollenberger.

Sollenberger wanders in a daze with glassy-eyed, disori-enting singing and echoing flute passages that work, strangely enough, over the hefty rock jug-gernaut.

The second half of Peace on Venus consists of two 10-min-ute long tracks, starting with “Chance” which opens with a flower-people acoustic guitar and flute peace-out for a mere 40 seconds, just as a tease, be-fore the guitars and drums join in and proceed with largely the same manner heard before.

For this writer, the frustrating thing about Peace on Venus is the lack of variation—the album is all too happy to lumber along as a space-rock behemoth for its duration. While other groups such as Mogwai or Explosions in the Sky offer lengthy, dramatic builds and ejaculatory payoffs, Bardo Pond avoids the cathar-sis, with no real resolution at the end.

To be fair, though, maybe that’s not the point, with the group content to hypnotize the listener into a certain state, zon-ing out without jarring inter-ruptions.

Between the Sleeves reCord reViewS • erNie paik

destroyerFive spanish songs(merge)

bardo pondPeace on Venus(Fire)

Is English Over—and Is There Peace on Venus?Songs in Spanish from Destroyer, space rock from Bardo Pond

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Green Goals for 20132014 begins! What do we

want to be? Where do we want to go? How can we get there?

From an environmental per-spective, these questions require a review of general guidelines that will help get our “ducks in a row”. For starters, it’s important to remember that all animals (including humans) and plants must make use of a habitat that provides food, water, and shel-ter in a suitable arrangement.

That last part is key, because if you can’t get to the food, wa-ter or shelter, or if it’s polluted, it does you no good. The poor and homeless can especially testify to that.

Because all life on Earth de-pends on a suitable habitat and a healthy ecosystem, what can be done to guarantee sustain-ability now and in the future?

Keep in mind four other things as you ponder: 1) As population increases there is growing demand on a resource-constrained planet; 2) We live on a planet with ever-changing climate patterns (whether our fault or not) and that fact re-quires adaptation for species

survival; 3) The most biodiverse ecosystem is strongest; 4) Ener-gy is required for life (ultimate source is sun).

That’s a lot of balls in the air as we think about solutions. We must also consider whose responsibility it is to make us sustainable. What can we do at home or in social, school or neighborhood networks? What should our local, state, national or other nations do?

We can’t cover all possible solutions in one column. How-

ever, here are some thoughts to help us reach more sustainable harmony with the planet on which we depend for life:

Set up goals for sustainability

As the Cheshire Cat told Alice, it doesn’t matter which way you choose if you don’t know where you want to go. For example, de-termining how much to divert from landfill waste both from homes and regionally.

How much can we increase recycling amounts?

How many trees should we plant to help slow climate change disruptions, prevent flooding and absorb stormwa-ter?

How many houses should be built with energy efficiency in mind, thereby reducing de-mands for energy from un-healthy coal and nuclear sourc-es?

How much land should be designated for growing local food and to support farmers? What steps could be taken to establish access to healthy food and provide green farming, weatherization and manufac-

turing jobs? How many

cars can we divert from roads by cre-ating more transpor-tation choices through expansion of greenways, bikeways, and bus use?

Work for habitat in a suitable arrangement

Food, water and shelter all require land. Yet we have estab-lished land-use requirements that allow for their disappear-ance. We allow the destruction of wetlands, filling floodplains, water pollution, and excessive impervious paving for develop-ment purposes. We hinder nat-ural or edible landscaping and chickens in the city. We isolate ourselves from daily living sup-plies and diverse community life through urban sprawl and R-1 zoning.

These patterns cause limited transportation choices, thereby contributing to more air pollu-tion from vehicles and increases in asthma cases. We have lost access to farmland, forests and biodiversity by cutting up land

into small, unconnected par-cels.

There’s plenty to do—and remedies, too. We’ve started on some, and many entrepreneurs have healthier green solutions and jobs in the pipeline. You can start today with a changeover to LED light bulbs in your home as energy-wasting incandescent light bulbs leave the market. Support a transition to sun and wind as our energy sources of the future.

Bottom line for sustainability: Use less energy. Use less stuff. Avoid waste. Share space with humans and other life in a suit-able arrangement. It’s all con-nected.

All animals (including humans) and plants must make use of a habitat that provides food, water, and shelter in a suitable arrangement.”

“

Sandra Kurt is an environmental community activist and is presently working through the Urban Century Institute. Visit her website at enviroedu.net

Shades of Green SaNdra kurTz

If we pull together, this year can be a turning point

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Arts riCH baiLey

Letterpress Printing Is Having Its Vinyl Moment

It’s back to handmade for artisanal devotees at The Open Press


Letterpress printing is one of those resur-rected technologies, loved by designers and others who can’t get enough of its old-school aesthetic.

“There’s something imperfect about it for sure, not everything is perfectly the same,” says Paul Rustand, owner of Widgets and Stone graphic design firm and one of the insti-gators of The Open Press, a new Chattanooga workshop where people can learn and use let-terpress equipment. “There are little nuances and touches that have a humanness to them.”

Those human touches are what printers worked hard to eliminate in their quest for uniform reproduction quality during a time this type of equipment was state of the art.

“That’s really what we designers like about it, the tactility of it, because everything is so digital nowadays,” says Rustand. “We all spend so much time in websites which don’t really exist as something you can hold. But having the feel of the paper and something pressed into it, the smell of the ink, particularly if it’s something you’ve made—here’s something almost childish in that pleasure of ‘look what I made!’ There’s something really rewarding about it.”

He explains that contemporary printing places a layer of ink onto the surface of the pa-per, while the older technology presses the ink into its surface. In fact, it was once a test of the pressman’s skill to make a “kiss impression,” where the three-dimensional letter or image made the lightest possible touch on the paper.

“Today, we like that big ‘ink at the bottom of

a ditch’ feel,” says Rustand, but an old-school printer would have found that to lack finesse.

The idea for the Open Press began with Rustand about two years ago. He had re-stored letterpress equipment and used it both as a hobby and to print small-run items for his design clients. Over time, it got less and less use, then went into storage when his company moved to new offices. When Matt Greenwell, a design collaborator and head of the UTC Art Department, told him the university had un-used fine-art printmaking equipment sitting in storage, the two began planning to create a workshop that would combine the two col-lections.

After a 2012 MakeWork grant and a few twists and turns, The Open Press began offer-ing classes in October 2013, focusing on arti-sanal letterpress printing, fine-art printmak-ing and handmade book arts.

The equipment that supports those three areas includes a Heidelberg press, four Vandercook proof presses (formerly used only for proofs before transferring plates to a high volume printer), several printmaking presses, a foil stamper, a Smyth sewer for stitching book signatures together, and a collection of metal and wood type that can be hand set.

The images that ultimately become ink on paper here can come from that movable type or from photopolymer printing plates made through a transfer process that begins with a piece of photographic film created on a computer. That process is newer than hand-set type but also a dying print technology, as nearly all printing has moved on to a fully digital, direct-to-plate technology.

In addition to Rustand and Greenwell, the Open Press leadership team includes Print-making Director Juanita Tumelaire, a print-maker, and Director Wendy Halvorson, who brings both letterpress and business experi-ence to the project.

Halvorson’s background is in finance, but she became a letterpress devotee after hav-ing her wedding invitations printed that way. Years later, having moved to Chicago, she stumbled onto a letterpress class at Colum-

bia College and got hooked. She kept taking classes in Chicago and in Los Angeles after another move. When she and her family re-turned to Chattanooga a year and a half ago, she was drawn to Rustand’s project to create a letterpress workshop that is open to the com-munity.

“Our desire is to teach and then have the presses available for rent so people can come in and work on their own projects, for sure, but also working together and pulling all the different aspects of the shop together and cre-ating beautiful things,” she says.

In the not-too-distant future, Rustand hopes to see letterpress and digital technolo-gies combined in one project, using each ap-proach for its strengths to create a unique col-laboration. The team is also working to find funding for scholarships to make classes ac-cessible to anyone who is interested.

“The longer term dream would be that this becomes a little bit more like a laboratory so that when we have the open press times that it’s fun to come in here and see what differ-ent people are doing and what they’re collabo-rating on and learning from each other,” says Rustand.

For more information or a schedule of 2014 classes, visit theopenpress.org

“It was once a test of the pressman’s skill to make a ‘kiss impression,’ where the three-dimensional letter or image made the lightest possible touch on the paper.”

WHILE SOME TECHNOLOGIES JUST FADE AWAY, OTHERS—LIKE RA-dio, books and newspapers—seem to stay on forever, surviving one obituary after another. And a few miraculously rise from the dead, not just living but

more alive than ever, imbued with a more-than-healthy glow from a mysterious combina-tion of being practically unnecessary yet artistically desirable.


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Arts Entertainment& eVeNTS CaLeNdar

Chattanooga Symphony Steve O

THUrsday 1.09

art + Issues: “Different Views, Different Sense of Space”6 p.m. hunter museum of american art, 10 Bluff View ave. (423) 267-0968, huntermuseum.orgFree Family night5:30 p.m. creative Discovery museum, 321 chestnut st. (423) 756-2738, cdmfun.orgCSO Masterworks: “Beethoven’s 7th”7:30 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad st. (423) 757-5156, chattanoogasymphony.orgPainting Workshop: Branch on Black7 p.m. artsy-u, 5084 s. Ter., east Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com“Mystery of the redneck Italian Wedding”7 p.m. Vaudeville café, 138 market st. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.comSteve O (of “Jackass”)7:30 p.m. The comedy catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com

friday 1.10

Kids Day Out Holiday Camp8:30 a.m. creative Discovery museum, 321 chestnut st. (423) 756-2738, cdmfun.orgPainting Workshop: Sunset Love2 p.m. artsy-u, 5084 s. Ter., east Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.comChattanooga Modelcon 20142 p.m. chattanooga convention center, 1100 carter st., (423) 649-2496. “Mystery of the nightmare Office Party”7 p.m. Vaudeville café, 138 market st. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.comGospel Chattanooga7 p.m. First church of the nazarene, 5455 north Ter. (423) 893-7756Painting Workshop: Doorway7 p.m. artsy-u, 5084 s. Ter., east Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.comriver City Sessions7:30 p.m., The camp house, 1427 Williams st. (423) 702-8081,

thecamphouse.com“Les Miserables”7:30 p.m. abba’s house, 5208 hixson Pike. (423) 290-8515,abbashouse.comSteve O (of “Jackass”)7:30, 9:30 p.m. The comedy catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.comDance and Drag at Images9 p.m. Images, 6505 lee hwy. (423) 855-8210, mirage-complex.comStand-up Comedy: Paul Strickland9:30 p.m. Vaudeville café, 138 market st. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com

saTUrday 1.11

Sandhill Crane and Eagle Cruise9:30 a.m. Blue moon cruises, 301 Riverfront Pkwy. (888) 993-2583, tnaqua.orgChattanooga Modelcon 20149 a.m. chattanooga convention center, 1100 carter st. (423) 649-2496CSO Lecture Series: “If On a Desert Island”11 a.m. Tivoli center, 701 Broad st. (423) 757-5156,

chattanoogasymphony.org“Birds Of Prey”11:30 a.m. chattanooga nature center, 400 garden Rd. (423) 821-1160, chattanooganaturecenter.org“Skullduggery: How to ID an animal Skull”2:30 p.m. chattanooga nature center, 400 garden Rd. (423) 821-1160, chattanooganaturecenter.org“Mystery of Flight 138”5:30 p.m. Vaudeville café, 138 market st. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.comPainting Workshop: Praying Owl7 p.m. artsy-u, 5084 s. Ter., east Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com“Les Miserables”7:30 p.m. abba’s house, 5208 hixson Pike. (423) 290-8515,abbashouse.comSteve O (of “Jackass”)7:30, 9:30 p.m. The comedy catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com“Mystery of the Facebook Fugitive”8:30 p.m. Vaudeville café, 138 market st. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com


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Arts Entertainment& eVeNTS CaLeNdar

Paul Strickland Shen yun World Tour

Dance and Drag at Images9 p.m. Images, 6505 lee hwy. (423) 855-8210, mirage-complex.comStand-up Comedy: Paul Strickland10:30 p.m. Vaudeville café, 138 market st. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com

sUnday 1.12

The Fresh Beats Band5 p.m. memorial auditorium, 399 mccallie ave. (423) 757-5156, chattanoogaonstage.comWinter Jam Spectacular 2014 featuring newsboys7 p.m. uTc mcKenzie arena, 720 e. 4th st. (423) 266-6627D.J. Lewis7:30 p.m. The comedy catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com

monday 1.13

Small Fry Mini-Programs: Butterflies10 a.m. Tennessee aquarium, 1 Broad st. (423) 402-9960, tnaqua.orgPainting Workshop: Bone (Family night)5:30 p.m. artsy-u,

5084 s. Ter., east Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com

TUesday 1.14

Taking Better Pictures with Tom & Pat Cory6:30 p.m. Tennessee aquarium, 1 Broad st. (423) 402-9960, tnaqua.orgShen yun World Tour 20147:30 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad st. (423) 642-TIXs, chattanoogaonstage.comPainting Workshop: Two Birds at Sunset7 p.m. artsy-u, 5084 s. Ter., east Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com

wednesday 1.15

Painting Workshop: Open Studio7 p.m. artsy-u, 5084 s. Ter., east Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.comKids Day Out Holiday Camp8:30 a.m. creative Discovery museum, 321 chestnut st. (423) 756-2738, cdmfun.orgHarlem Globetrotters7 p.m. uTc mcKenzie arena, 720 e. 4th st. (423) 266-6627

ongoing

“Contemporary arts & Crafts” 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. mon-sat, 1 - 5 p.m. sundayRiver gallery, 400 e. 2nd st. (423) 265-5033, river-gallery.com“Members Exhibit”11 a.m. - 5 p.m. Tues.- sat. aVa gallery, 30 Frazier ave. (423) 265-4282, avarts.org“Celebrate art!” 11 a.m. - 6 p.m., mon-sat, 1 - 5 p.m. sun. In-Town gallery, 26a Frazier ave. (423) 267-9214, intowngallery.com“Pictures Tell The Story” 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. mon-Fri,noon - 4 p.m. saturday,Bessie smith cultural center, 200 e. mlK Blvd. (423) 266-8658, bessiesmithcc.org“Wrapped In Tradition”11 a.m.- 6 p.m., mon- Thurs9 a.m. - 4 p.m. FriJewish cultural center5461 n. Terrace. (423) 493-0270, ext. 13“Harmony & Hostility” art exhibit by John McLeod10 a.m. - 5p.m. mon-Fri. st. Paul’s episcopal church, 305 W. 7th st.

(423) 266-8195, stpaulschatt.org“Go Figure: Selections from the Permanent Collection”10 a.m. - 5 p.m. mon-sat,noon - 5 p.m. sunday,hunter museum, 10 Bluff View. (423) 267-0968, huntermuseum.org“Photographic Prints”8 a.m. - 5:30 p.m. mon-Fri,8 a.m. - noon, saturday,gallery at Blackwell, 71 eastgate loop. (423) 894-7112“Small Works and Miniature” art exhibit9:30 a.m. - 5:30 p.m. mon-Fri10 a.m. - 5 p.m. saturday. e.g. Fisher library, 1289 Ingleside ave., athens. (423) 745-7782, fisherlibrary.orgrock City raptors11 a.m. - 3 p.m. Fri-sat, Rock city, 1400 Patten Rd., lookout mtn, ga. seerockcity.comChattanooga Ghost Tours9 p.m. nightly. The little curiosity shoppe, 138 market st. (423) 821-7125, chattanoogaghosttours.com

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: [email protected].


Screen joHN deVore

Blowing the House Down“Wolf of Wall Street” eviscerates unbridled greed

MARTIN SCORSESE’S “THE WOLF OF Wall Street” is an

example of how a good film can be made without having any

likable characters. The men and women shown in this film

are terrible people—greedy, lecherous, foul-mouthed, callous, predatory

and single-minded are just a few words that can be used to describe the

employees at Stratton Oakmont, the brokerage firm started by Jordan

Belfort, one of the few men in the U.S ever punished for financial crimes.

It is based on a real person and inspired by an autobiographical book of

the same name.


The film is graphic in its depiction of the debauchery that took place at Stratton Oakmont, focusing more on the afterhours parties and drunken cel-ebrations than the act of defrauding the public on a massive scale. No one in the film is identifiable, at least for me, but at the same time it’s a story that is engross-ing in the same way a train wreck or a car chase holds onlookers spellbound by potential tragedy. It’s ostensibly a dark comedy, and judging from the audi-ence reaction it will be received as such. But this is very much a surface reading of the film. “The Wolf of Wall Street” is far sadder, more desperate, and more subtle than the trailer suggests. Scors-ese doesn’t approve of Belfort—he sim-ply shows the wolf as he is: a ravenous, uncompromising leader of carnivorous beasts.

Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio) started his career as in the stock mar-ket during the late ’80s, working for Mark Hanna (Matthew McConaughey), a drugged-out power broker who in-troduces Belfort to the stock market culture of cocaine, strippers and pros-titution. Stock trading is dominated by testosterone-driven sociopaths, a n d Belfort immediately felt that he had found a home, de-spite being married with children. After tak-ing his Series 7 ex-ams, Belfort ends his first day as a stock broker on Black Monday, promptly losing his

job. On a whim, he travels to Long Is-land, where he discovers a firm selling penny stocks to working-class men. He learns that there is a 50 percent com-mission on all stocks sold at this level and amps up his game, selling thou-sands of shares to plumbers at five cents a share. A new money-making scheme is born, shamelessly creating profit in an industry full of worthless investments. As time goes on, Belfort does the same with wealthy investors and Stratton Oakmont is created.

Belfort staffs his agency not with the highly educated individuals generally associated with the financial agency, but with two-bit hucksters and drug deal-ers. The looser the morals, the lower the standards, the more money Stratton Oakmont stands to make. It’s a brilliant

plan that makes him and his associates

very, very rich.Of course,

most of the business done Stratton Oak-mont is highly illegal. Stock manipula-tion is only a small part of the financial crimes perpetrated by the brokerage. Not that it matters. What is so striking about the film is that despite Belfort’s bravado and obstreperousness in the face of the law, his defiance of court or-ders, his genuine belief that rules don’t apply to him, his punishment is so mini-mal. Belfort spent 36 months in prison because of his re-fusal to cooper-ate with the SEC. In the film, the c h a r -a c t e r

talks about how terrified he was of prison—only to remember later that he was rich. He spent his time incarcerated playing tennis. Anyone that has followed Matt Taibbi’s articles in Rolling Stone about Wall Street understands how rare it is for anyone to go to prison at all for these type of crimes. Fines and wrist-slapping are more common for the ex-ecutives that have fewer principles than Belfort.

What it comes down to is that mon-ey has no real value for two classes of people in America: the very rich and the very poor. I don’t mean in terms of fiat currency or some lofty notion of a gold standard. No, it is just that for some, money is simply an idea, one that has very little effect on day-to-day life. For the rich, it is easily attainable and easily

expanded, numbers on paper to be moved from one balance sheet to

another. It’s the opposite for the poor, but no more real. Debt

is just one more bill that will never be paid, one more late fee added to an incomprehensible amount of nothing. The real dif-ference between classes is shown in the justice system, the sentencing of criminals. Stealing a car is a felony. Stealing a life is merely the byproduct of American capitalism.

“What is so striking about the film is that despite Belfort’s bravado and obstreperousness in the face of the law, his defiance of court orders, his genuine belief that rules don’t apply to him, his punishment is so minimal.”


CaPrICOrn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): can you guess what combination of colors makes the most vivid visual impact? Psychologists say it’s black on yellow. Together they arrest the eye. They command at-tention. They activate a readiness to respond. according to my read-ing of the astrological omens, this is the effect you can and should have in the coming weeks. It’s time for you to draw the best kind of attention to yourself. You have a right and a duty to galvanize people with the power of your presence. Whether you actually wear yellow clothes with black highlights is optional as long as you cultivate a similar potency.

aQuarIuS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I’m guessing that in a metaphorical sense, you’ve been swallowed by a whale. now you’re biding your time in the beast’s belly. here’s my prediction: You will be like the Biblical Jonah, who underwent a more literal version of your expe-rience. The whale eventually ex-pelled him, allowing him to return to his life safe and sound—and your story will have the same out-come. What should you do in the meantime? here’s the advice that Dan albergotti gives in his poem “Things to Do in the Belly of the Whale.” “count the ribs,” he says. “look up for blue sky through the spout. make small fires with the broken hulls of fishing boats. Practice smoke signals. call old friends. organize your calendar. Dream of the beach. Review each of your life’s ten million choices. Find the evidence of those be-fore you. listen for the sound of your heart. Be thankful that you are here, swallowed with all hope, where you can rest and wait.”

PISCES (Feb. 19-march 20): how do you like your tests? short, in-tense, and dramatic? or leisurely, drawn-out, and low-pressure? here’s another question: Do you prefer to pick out the tests you take, making sure they’re good fits for the precise lessons you want to master? or do you find it more exciting and adventurous to let fate determine what unpre-dictable tests get sent your way? Ruminate about these matters, Pisces. You’re due for a nice big test sometime soon, and it’s in your interest to help shape and define how everything unfolds.

arIES (march 21-april 19): You can blame it on the coming full

moon. You can blame it on the gor-geous storm or the epic dream or the haunting song or the suffering you’re struggling to vanquish. all I ask is that you don’t blame it on the alcohol. oK? If you’re going to do wild and brave and unex-pected things, make sure they are rooted in your vigorous response to primal rhythms, not in a drunk-en surrender to weakness or ig-norance. I’m all for you losing your oppressive self-control, but not the healthy kind of self-control.

TauruS (april 20-may 20): When is the last time you did an experiment? I’m not talking about scientific tests and trials that take place in a laboratory. I’m referring to real-life experiments, like when you try out an unfamiliar experi-ence to see if it appeals to you…or when you instigate a change in your routine to attract unpredict-able blessings into your sphere. now would be an excellent time to expose yourself to a few what-ifs like that. You’re overdue to have your eyes opened, your limits stretched, and your mind blown.

GEMInI (may 21-June 20): To help take the edge off the dark-ness you have been wrestling with, I offer you these lines from a poem by Kay Ryan: “The day mis-spent, / the love misplaced, / has inside it / the seed of redemption. / nothing is exempt / from resur-rection.” In other words, gemini, whatever has disappeared from your life will probably return later in a new form. The wrong turns you made may lead you to a fresh possibility. Is that what you want? or would you prefer that the lost things stay lost, the dead things stay dead? make a decision soon.

CanCEr (June 21-July 22): “human beings are often un-able to receive because we do not know what to ask for,” says the writer malidoma somé in his book Water and Spirit. “We are sometimes unable to get what we need because we do not know what we want.” With that in mind, cancerian, hear my two pleas: first, that in the next six weeks, you will work diligently to identify the goodies you want most; and second, that you will cultivate your capacity to receive the goodies you want most by refining your skill at asking for them.

LEO (July 23-aug. 22): Julia morgan (1872-1957) was the first woman licensed as an ar-

chitect in california. she designed over 700 buildings in the course of her brilliant career, and thrived both financially and artistically. one key to her success was her humility. “Don’t ever turn down a job because it’s beneath you,” she advised. That’s a helpful message for you to hear, leo. It applies to the work-related opportunities you may be invited to take on, as well as the tasks that your friends, associates, and loved ones ask you to consider. You can’t possi-bly know ahead of time how im-portant it might ultimately be to apply yourself conscientiously to a seemingly small assignment.

VIrGO (aug. 23-sept. 22): one of Beethoven’s music teachers said, “as a composer, he is hopeless.” When Thomas edison was a kid, a teacher told him he was “too stu-pid to learn anything.” Walt Disney worked at a newspaper when he was young, but his editor fired him because “he lacked imagina-tion and had no good ideas.” I’m sure there was a person like that in your past -- someone who dis-paraged and discouraged you. But I’m happy to report that 2014 will be the best year ever for neu-tralizing and overcoming that naysayer’s curse. If you have not yet launched your holy crusade, begin now.

LIBra (sept. 23-oct. 22): as a child, French philosopher and writer Blaise Pascal (1623-1662) loved math. But his father, who homeschooled him, forced him to forego math and concentrate on studying the humanities. Blaise rebelled. When he was 12 years old, he locked himself in his room

for days and immersed himself in mathematical investigations. When he emerged, he had figured out on his own some of euclid’s fundamental theorems about geometry. eventually, he became a noted mathematician. I see the coming weeks as prime time to do something like the young Pas-cal did: seal yourself away from other people’s opinions about who you’re supposed to be, and explore the themes that will be crucial for the person you are be-coming.

SCOrPIO (oct. 23-nov. 21): In 1609, Dutch sea explorer henry hudson sailed to america and came upon what we now call coney Island. Back then it was a barren spit of sand whose main inhabitants were rabbits. But it was eventually turned into a daz-zling resort—an “extravagant playground,” according to the documentary film Coney Island. By the early 20th century, there were three sprawling amusement parks packed into its two square miles of land, plus “a forest of glit-tering electric towers, historical displays, freak shows, a simulated trip to the moon, the largest herd of elephants in the world, and panoramas showing the creation, the end of the World, and hell.” I mention this, scorpio, because 2014 could feature your very own henry hudson moment: a time when you will discover virgin ter-ritory that will ultimately become an extravagant playground.

SaGITTarIuS (nov. 22-Dec. 21): “If men had wings and bore black feathers, few of them would be clever enough to be crows,” said 19th-century social reformer henry Ward Beecher. That might be an accurate assessment for most people, but I don’t think it will be true for you sagittarians in the foreseeable future. Your animal intelligence will be work-ing even better than usual. Your instinctual inclinations are likely to serve as reliable guides to wise action. Trust what your body tells you! You will definitely be clever enough to be a crow.

Free Will Astrology rob brezSNy

Homework: Imagine that one of your heroes comes to you and says, “Teach me the most important things you know.” What do you say? FreeWillAstrology.com


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Jonesin’ Crossword maTT joNeS

“Words That never Were”--a mashup from 2013 lists.

Copyright © 2013 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0657

Across1 Agile5 Give the appearance of9 Potato chip flavor14 Herbal medicine succulent15 Meat approver, for short16 “A Delicate Balance” playwright17 “Damn Yankees” temptress18 DC team19 Epic about the Trojan War20 They stand up for a cause by bumping and grinding?23 Industry, casually24 Rare batteries28 The act of working out a national budget with new fried desserts?33 Babbling waterway34 Clashing35 Come ___ standstill

36 Place to play hockey37 Hatch at the Capitol38 Web address letters39 Thurman who played June in “Henry & June”40 Oven setting41 Where much of “Torchwood” takes place42 Came up with a rational reason for taking one’s own picture?45 Tried, with “at”46 World of Warcraft, for one47 Giant swirl of Buzzfeed posts?54 Sugar frontman Bob57 Conical-bore instrument58 Part of USNA59 Birchbark vessel60 Grumpy Cat, e.g.61 Grooving on62 Sports forum63 “South Park” kid64 British king

of literature

Down1 Everything bagel topping2 Blizzard battler3 Casting director’s offer4 It gets signed at school5 General who wrote of military arts6 “Caprica” actor Morales7 1999 reality-show satire8 “Heroes” star Oka9 Not a good thing to hotwire10 Prepared11 MLB stat12 One of Estelle’s co-stars13 Letters in math proofs21 Garden hose crimp22 ___ Wrap25 Minute26 Smashed and grabbed27 Loses it28 Combat site of the 1850s

29 Mr. McDonald30 Hawaiian staples31 Word before mine or mall32 Suit fabric33 Art store purchase37 Cookies since 191238 Digital annoyance?40 Earth-shaking concept41 Changing table cloth43 Leno successor44 Former “America’s Funniest People” host Sorkin48 ___ of Maine (toothpaste brand)49 “Yeah, as if!”50 Time out?51 Breakout phenomenon52 Mined-over matter?53 Scent54 Late Beastie Boy55 Dinghy thingy56 “Ceci n’est pas ___ pipe” (Magritte caption)

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The Pulse 11.02 » January 9, 2014