Tornado Season

8/11/2019 Tornado Season

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/tornado-season 1/4

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E

n:l*J;flh:*HliilTl:f

where

I

stand

on the

purch

o(our

fnmilv's

rented

home,

-vou

wrxr

ldnt

k nrn+

he was

iust

si

xteen'

I

watch

as

my

older brother

Darrca

rnearulers

over

a

gras$y

hurnrnock

an<l

stops,

then

turns

and

stares

in

m.v

direction,

as

if

my

spying

on

him

has

made

a

sourxl

that

hc

can

dctcct

frorn

a

hundrcd

yards

awa.v'

Hc

ncvcr

tnok

airnless

watks

before

the

accident.

He

wa,s

always

rcwed

up

and

ready

for

the

next farm

chore

or six-pack

ofsrhlitz'

But

since

he

got

out

ofthe

hospital

two

days ago,

he's

moved

atthe

pace

of

a country

gcntlcman

r,t'ith

timc

to

sParc-

It's rgSu and

I'rn tt'elve.

My

tather and

nry

oldest

sibling,

Derrick,

are

laboring

in

the

springields.

Darrea

had

iust

gotten

his driver'slicense

when

he

sullered

his traurnatic

brain

iniury'

He

lrxrks teiward

a

line

of

pine trees

against

the

blue

horizon-

The talk

r;f

tornadoes

has started

earlier

than

usual

this

v"ear'

IvIy

family

is

ahays

on

alert,

ready

to scanrper

into

the basement

if

a

funncl cloud

appcars.

Thc

wcathcr

this

spring

might

turn

out

to

be

glorious,

t'ith

gentle

rains over

rnany

dals

feeding

the

seed

already

in the

ground,

or it

could

be

a

disaster,

with

cows

picked

up

and

dropped

in bluxly

heaps

across

I'he county'

Darren'.s

sheved

head,

sunken

e,ves,

and

vacant

expression

are

as

terrilying

to

me as any

s'torm

that

might be

brewing,

over

this

flat and

fertile

lndiana

land.

I've

alrrya,vs

lcrrked up

to

Darrcn.

Hc

taugtrt

mc

how to

drivs a

tractor,

harrowirrg

thc

dirt

until

the

soil

was

smooth,

making

perfect

spirals

in

the

6eld.

l{e

taught

me how

to

stay

clcan

rvhile fteding,

thc hog's

in

the

morning

so that

I

ditlnt

go

to

school

srnelling

like

shit.

Hc

taught

mc

hou'to

farm

aod

nrf

fcar

storms-

I

wanted

to

be

like

lrim, a rising

star

in the

local

rrn

--

Future

Farmers

of America

-

capable of

iudging

livestock

as

well

as

any auc-

tioneer,

but

we

both

knew

I

was

rnore

suiled to

writirrg

in

nrv

journal

and composing

the

rhyming

poems I showed

only

to

him.

I

depend

on his

upinirn

and

r.rn his

ability 1o

make

me feel

safe

while

exrr

folks bnth

r+'ork douhle

shifts

to

keep

us

afloat-

We're alwavsbehindon

bills,

a

lacklusterharvcst

glving wa-vto

an

overlyleveraged

spring

and

tlre likelihoodofanother

broke

autumn.

This

farm

isn't

really ours'

9'c

rcnt

it

along

with thc

house,

and

tlre

landlord

gets rnost of the

profit"

I'm

scared

norr

because

xr

little

of the

l)srren

lte always

known

*ems

to

remain

in his

weakened

bod,v.

I

can't"

remem-

ber ever

having treen

rnore

frightened

by

a chanp

in

someone-

I

understand

that

we

should

exprct

"personality

irrconsistencies,"

astheemergencl'-roo,lr

doctorsaid,

but

it's as

if

an

entirely

new

brothcr

camc

herme r.t'ith us

{nrm thc

Wabash

Ctrunty

Hospital'

F lU

E

*ff::"ffi,"#:1l:

:T,I

;iri"i:

fricnds

in

thc

rre chaptcr

wcrc

joking

around

bctwccn

swinc-

iudging

trials.

They are

the best

in

the

state, or

close

to

it' Dar-

ren could

recite

all the

srryine

breeds

in alphabetical

order and

quickly rcntlcr x:orcs

iu

catcg<rrics

likc

"Bcst

Cross

Brcd Gilt"

and"Finest

['ure

Bred

Durm

Barrow."

[{is

friends

toldthestory

of his

accident

over

and

over:

The chute

rvas

inside

a buikling,

and

l)arren

rniscalculated

his

leap

and

struck

his

hcad

on

a

raller

in

miclair.

When

he

strrud up after

his

fall,

his

hands

clutched

his

head,

and

his

face

was

arwhite

as

paper' Then

he

rnovt'd

his

hands,

and

red blood

gushcd dorvn

his

checks

and

along

his

neck,

soaking

his

rre

jacket.

He'd cracked

his

cra-

nium:

scvcnty

stitchcs

insidt

and

two

hundred

on

the

outside'

By

the

time

the anrbulance

got lrinr

to

the

hospital,

he'd

lost

three

pints of blmd-

Sthen

Darten

was released,

the doctor

told us

lre

might

have a

permanent

sPeech

impedimcnt

and

that

the

parall'sis

on one

side

o{

his body

could

worser.

'He

might

rccovcr

fullp

or

this

could

be it,"

the dcrtor

said'

ignoring

Darren's

presence'

Darren

smiled

weakly,

with

only

half

his

mouth'

Now that

l)arren

is

horre,

Ilad

is

track

at

work

at the

ceiling-

tilefactory

-

he had

called

in sick

furstaelal

da1's

-

and

Mom

is

back

towaitressingat

a

greasy

burgerioint

called

BeniEood'

Shc

brings

homc

oily brown

bags

full of

crinklc-cut

fries and

double

cheeseburgers

to buitd

up

her

iniured

son's

strength,

but f)arren

witl

only nibble

at

the

meals-

I'le's strangely

cau-

tiou$

about

rvhal he eats

anel

olten rnrile*

for

no reason,

He's

developed

an odd

tic in

which

he

inexplicabl,v

taps

his

wrist-

He stares

at electrical

outlets

and

enioys

switching

thc

Iights

on

and off"

checking

extension

cords,

.tnd

insPecting

the

fuse

box.

Whcn

Mom

and

Dad

arer't

homc,

Dcrrick

our

sistcrs

Dina

and

l)ana, and

I

try

to

get

l)arren

to eat,

but

he continues

losing

weight

and

acting

like

a ghost-

One

night

I say

to

Mom

while

we're

drving

dishes,'Itk

like

he

thinks

none of this

is

rcal-" Shc

glanccs

up

from

a

platc

shc's

wipinq

and

kxrks

at rnc

as

if

I

rvere tlre one

rtith

the

head

iniury.

Another

evening,

rvhen

we're

all

home except

for

Dad,

wlro

working ovsrtimc

to

pa,v

Darreni

hospital

bills,

Darrcn

asks

Mom

r*fiy

he

cant

operate

a trsctor

or spread

manure

or

drive

into town

for

a

root

beer.

I Ie has

to lakx

to

pronounce

each

syllable.

Mom

tries to

explain

that

he's

been

hurt

and

nccds

to

bc

patientwhilc

his hcad

hcals,

that thingswill

comc

back

to

[rim. Darretr

stares

at her

rcith

dar*,

wild

e,les,

tlren

pulls

a

quarter

from

his

pocket.

lle lrlds

his

hand

out,

palrn

up,

and

places

tlre

coin

on

hil wrist.

'When

he clencl'res

his

fist,

a

tendon

grxs rigid,

and

the

coin

flips

from

tails

to heads

and

lancls

per(ectly

on

his

pale

skin.

Then

he

srniles

at

Mom *nd

tucks the

quarter hack

into

his pocket-

On the

television

I

see

a

radar

map

of

Indiana,

a

longiline

rotating

over

it tike an

accelerated

clock

hand,

revealing

pur-

plc spots

ofdangerous wcalhcr

cvcry fcw

xconds.

Mom

tclls

u$ to

turrl up

the

volume.

The

weirtherman

sounds

tense as

he describes

conditions

favorable

for strtrng

lightning

storms,

some

of

which

may

produce

tornadoes.

Ilarren

smiles

at

the

nev's,

rubbing

his hand

over

thc

stutrblc

on his

hcad- Since

the accident,

itk as

if

ele€tricity

rvere

his

friend.

Hds

given

up

reading

Zane

Grey westerns

for thick

librsrl

books

on high-

roltagc

enginccrirrg,

Hc

walksovcr

to thc

tclcrision

aod

turns

Septemlver

zora

r

-Ihe

$uo

{15



it off,then

back

on,

ttrrching

his fingertips

to

the screen

to

fee'l

the

static.

r

O R

*}.Jffi

:ffi L'JJfi:T::,"fl

;::

::

interest

in

butterflies

and

pokes

at

puddles

with

hit

csne,

then

stares at the

ripples.

He

neter

cared about

any

ofthis

when

he

waspresidentof

his rrn

chaper,the

kingof

swineiudginp

He

cloesntdrink

anymore

or

smoke

Salcens'

The massive

scar

atop

his

head

is a

glistening

pink

ridge,

and

iti lrard

trot

to $tsre

at

it.

Darrcn

is at homc

by

himstlf

during,

thc da1,

rer:upcrating

while

the

rest of

us

go

tn xhool

and

Mom

and

llad

go

to

rvork'

I

imagine

him

as

a

phantom,

takingi

krnp;

rvalks

and

honing

skillsthatare

nd of

tlrisworld'

C)n

thewayhomefrom

school

on

thc

bus, I

u'ondcr

if

hc'll

elcr

gct

lrcttcr-

f)ina

and

Dana

sit

two

rows

in

front

of

rne.

When

we

get back,

they'll

fix Darren

cinnarnon

toast

as

Mom

instructed.

Derrick

will

*'atch the

skies

luith

pir4

anrl

we

will

all

wait to

see

if the

weather

-

and

l)arren

-

r,v'ill

imProve"

Five

years

ago

I

had

two

fingers

mangled

in

a

farming

ac-

cident: an auger nearly

cut them off. Darren

helped nre soak

m.v

hand

twicc

a day

in Epsom

salts.

Thc

pain was

excruciat-

ing

as

if

tny

nerves

lrad beeu

set on

fire.

He

sat

u'ith

rne

wery

morningand

evening,

holding

mygood hand

andtryingto

dis-

tracl

rn€

as

our mother

lowered

the

other

hand

-

the

irriured

rxre

-

into

the

hot

water,

frorn

which

it emerged

lobster

red'

Whenan

infectionthreatened

to

take

my

entire

hand,

Darren

told

iVlom

to

increase the

Epsom

salts

and

encouraged

me

to

soak

i[

Iong;cr

than

was

cornfortable'

In thc'

cnd

rly

hand was

s-tved,

and

I

gave l)arren

the

credit.

Now

I

want

more

than

anything

clse

to

repay

thc

favor,

but

I

d<mt

knor*

how tn be

strong

like him-

Since

he

cracked

his

skull,

I

fccl an

uttcrl.r'dcspcratc

sadncss

whcn I'm

arourid

lrirn,

and

I can't

speak'

I'm

ashamed

I cant

help

him

more'

E

?

7

3

::l:i*:{*it*1ffi

;::'##ff

;*:;

in

the

g,arage.

The

latest

uses

the

barometer

lrom

the

fense

6rst

hehind

the

trouse

and

a

tractor

battery'

I

find

him

at

the

workbench,

the

March

r*'eathcr

humid and

thick,

steel-gray

clouds

roiling

in

the

west, the

Sreen

sky

a telltale

warning

of

approaching

storms.

It's

carll'morning,

and

I'vc

brought

him

a

cheese

biscuit.

Hls hair

has

mostly

grorrn

back

except

over

that monstrous

scar,

like a

topographical

ridge.

Darren

l<xrks

down

a(

t.he

biscuit

and

smiles

the

rtay

he does

rrcw at every-

thing.

'Ihen

he places

the

plate on

s

strnl

and

polls

me by

the

arm

to

the

workbcnch.

He

points

to the

barorncter,

whose

needie

is

swirling

rapidly.

"What?"

I

ask-

Darren

only

grins

and

rcmtrvr:s

thc

battcry

cablcs:

thc barometcr

nuldlc

falls

0at'

Mom and

the

girls

are

in

towr,

shopping

for

groceries

raitlr

a stack

ofcoupons

as thick

as

a brick-

Derrkk

and Dad

are

try-

ing

to

put

sonre

soybeans

in the

ground

before

the

storrn

hits.

At

4

r,u Mom

and

Dad will

both

lcavc

to

wtrrk

thc

latc

shift.

I sit down

on

an old

han'ow,

my tailbone

tender

from

riding

the

tractor

yesterdal',

replacing

Darren

in

the fields.

He

takes

a

bitc o[ thc

biscuit

and

swa]lows

with

c{krrt'

Just

trvo

rvscks

4$

ThtSunrSePtemberzor4

ago

he

was

drinking

whiske,v

and

blasting

heavy metal;

not'

it

scems

my

brothcr

is contcnt

to

watch

the

baromcter,

wiping

his

spotless

hands

every

few seconds

on

a red

shop

cloth'

I m

confused

by

his

intensc

focus,

thc

rvay

he

bchavei;

as

if noth-

irrg

else

exists

except

what's

ilr

front

oI

him'

"Fley,"

I

say and

l)arren

slnwly

turns

tor*'ard

me,

his face

rslemn,

no

grin.

He

seems

cornpletely

disconnected

from

our

famil,v,

the

harn,

the

farm.

Thrnugh the

windor*- above

the

workbench,

the

rnorning

sk.v

looks

lrore

like

dusk,

and

fat drops

of

rain

begin

to

splat against

the

panes'

-lhe

wind

picks

up

and

howls

ovtr

thc

shinglcd

barn,

zuxl

wc htar

what

soun<ls

like

cnins

and even

full

cans

o[

soup

hittirrg the

roof

in

a rapi&fire

barrage.

'Iwig1s,

then

brarrches

somersault

past

the

window,

arul bright-green

leaves

are

plastered

to

the

glass'

Enunciating

slou'I,v,

f)arrcn

says,

"ltt

3 storrnr

Dougic'"

"Corne

on,-

I

say.

I

take

his

halxl, and

we hea<I out

tlrc barn

door,

staying

under

the

eaves

and

rxerhangs

until

we're near

the

house.

Then

we rnake

a

str*ped

run for

the basement"

I

sling

the

double

drxns

open

and

push

Darren ahead

of me intn

the

dark.

The space

smells

of

soft

potatoes and

wet moss'

\Ye

collapse

onto

a stack

of dusty

gunnysacks

lext to

the

llicker-

ing

gas

flamc

of

thc

watcr

hcatcr-

Dirn

lightsceps

in

through

a

single

snrall

rvindorv.

I hear

rnybrother

patting his

jacket'

and

he

pulls something

from

his

prxket-

'Ihe

lighter

catches

un

the second

tr.v'.

He

holds

up

the

Zippo

as

if

it might

be

the

last

source

oflight

on the

planet,

and the

orange

glow

reveals

a

scared

expression

on

his

face.

"The

girls?"

he

says.

I

tc'll

him

thcy'll

b:'{inc.

Thcy're

at

thc

groct"ry

slorc

in

Wabash,

probably

in sorne

walk-in

cooler',

surrounded

by rnen

and

women

actustomed

to emcrgencies-

I)arren

nods

but

doesnt

look

reassured.'Where'-s

Dad?"

he asks-

I'm throrvn

by this

reversal ofour

regular roles:

hei usuallv

the smart and

informed

nlder brother,

and

I'm

thc nne

asking

questions.

With

Darren

bervildered

and

frightened,

I

have

to

bethe

one

with theanswers,

and

l'mu'nefully

unprepared-'lhe

wincl

rips

past

the

basemerrt

doors'

My

brother

scotxles

closer.

The

floor above

us

shimmiesand

groans-

I

find

somecomfort

in the

fact that

there

arc

still

{lashes oflig,htning

and

crackling

thunder.

TIre

stornr

hasn't

ggne

silent,

something

we've

been

told

olcr

and ovcr

may signal

thatwc

havc only a

fcw

scconds

belbre

a l'unnel

cloud uproots

treesand

splits

the

house

il two.

I)arren stands

and

walks

over

to the

ground-level

window

*Sgt

lrvnf

frorn

there,'I

hiss;.

llarren'.s

back appears

straighter.

I cant

see

his

cane

or

recall

what's

happened

to it.

A

rcsounding crash

shakes

the

houseto

its

foundation.

Part

of

mewishes the

whole

goddamn

placc

*

oulbuildings,

l.oo

-

would

bt

swcpt

a$ay, $o

wc

could

start

over.

fuhybe

sotnething

he*vy could

hit

l.)arren's

head

and

turn

him

back

to normal.

flarren

srniles

at

me

and

taps

his

wrist-

"You

lt'orr.v

tot'

much,

I)ou

gic. Wc

re safc," hc

says. Somcth

i ng

smacks agai

nst

the

house outside.

I

inragine

roofshingles

beirg

toro

off,

our

nreager

garden

scooped

up

and

carried

into

the

dark

sky.

We

sit

sidc

by

side

on

thc

mound

of burlap

as

thc

sturrn

pcaks.



Flying

debris

cracks

the

tindcw.

I

have

to

keep shifting

my

wcight

on thc

sacks

sincc

my

tailbonc

is

still

sore'

Darren

puts

his

arm around

me.

I

tcll him

I

m not

worricd

about

us.

{Somcthing

in my

gut

resents

hirn for

tlrinking

I

care

only

about

our

own

predica-

m€nt.)

t explain

that

t

m

thinking

of

Dad

and

l-)errick

out

in

the lields

with

nowhere to hide

but

a

shallo*'ditch'

Darren

nods,

and

in

the

halfJight

I

can

see

his shinl'scar'

Hait

pelts

the

house,

and

I

irnagine tlre

seed

it's

taken us

rveeks

to

plant washed

into

culverts,

but

m,v

brother

iust

mar-

vcls at

Lhc

spt'ctaclc.

I

suggest

to

llarren

that

we focus

our

thoughtr

on

l)ad

and

Derrick

to

keep

them

safe'

I)arren

glives

rne

a

look

like

some

cornered,

underground

creature

that

his

old

self

would

havc

poked

rvith

a

stick

or

pnppcd

in thc

tcmplc

with

a

'22

rifle and

I realize

it's crwl

to

lbrce

him

back

to

redity

like

this'

Another

gust

ofrvind

vibrates

the

floor

beams'

I)arren

gets up

and

pacer; his

walking

cane

bacft

in

his

hand.

I

want him

I'o

be strong

and

aloof,

the way

he used tn

be,

or even

fired

up

on

booze.

I'ie

was a

relcntltss

w<rrker,

ahvays

ready

to

coax

lifc

from the soil for another

season

and

help

our

parents make

cnds

mcct.

Nor,l'my

brothcr

shovcs

his

clcnchcd

fist

into his

rnouth, and

I

know

he's

crying.

I

arn,

too,

\Ve rvhirnper

in

the

cellar

like feral

pups

while

the storm

rages

outside.

Ilarren's

cane

lean*

loosely

against

his

leg, his

Levi's

worn

to Lhe

color

of

a

rvinter

sky,

*l

know

I'm

not

the same,"

he

struggles

to

sa1,

his bnrwn

e,ves

filled

with

tears,

"but

I

m gonna

get hqck

to

being

me'"

Thc cane

falls

to tlrc

lkx.rr,

and

hc walks

toward

nrc

x'ith a

limp

that

seems

even

more

severe

tl'tan

usual.

I can'f

imagin€

hdll

ever

bc as

smart

and

rcsourceful

as

before'

u

E

f:,l::r,t;;il";11,ilffi,';[isil::]

Derriek

appear,

wct hut

unharrred-

I

help Darren

climh

the

stairs

to

a

cloudy

but

calrn

l*te

rnorning'

Mom

anci

the

gids

come

home

an

hour

later,

ancl

rve all eat

lunch

together

and

talk

about

the

storm.

Darren

makes

Mom

tell him

several

times

about the

downed

electrical

lines,

trut

she

cant answer

his

questions about

the

transformers

or

povy'er

stations.

That

night

llarren

stals

up

late in our

shared

bedroom,

picking

lint

from

his r-rA

iackct

and

Putting

mink

oil

on

his

work boots.

ln

some

ways

I

continue

to

feel like

flarren's

older

brother'

I help

hirr

renlimber

the

names

of tools:

crescent

rvrench,

grease

g,un,

lug c'hain.

I

show

lrim

rvhere

lhe

diesel

futl

is kept

and

howthe

)ohn

l)eere

front

loader

starts-

At

night in

our

bedror.rm

wereview

what

he learned

that day:

everything,lrom

our

mother's

maiden

narne

to

how

the tccident

happened'

I

te'll

thc story

iust

thc

way

his fricnds

did.

{Thcy've

staycd away,

afraid

to see

lprv he's changed.)

lrtnetitnes

lre asks

me to

read

him

xrme

of my

poetq', and

w-hen

I

do, he

nods

and

smiles and

asks

if

I

tlrink

*'ords

like

autunn

and'

Ioam sound

funny.

We

laugh

and

sta)'

uP

latcr

than

wc

shnuld,

somcthing

wc

rarch

did

belbre

the accident'

One

dayafterschool

l)arren

isruatching

me

makebologna-

and-chccse

$andtichcs

whcu

hc

says,

"l

rcnrcnrbcr

all

the

hog

breedsl"

I fall

asleep

that

night

listening

to

him

name

thcm,

thc

list

out

of

ordcr

but

complctc:

Landracc,

York-

shirs,

Poland

Clrina,

Duroc

.

.

.

T

W

O

;il'*::""i1,"'ili:

l'::'ff*3:'ffi

."

h

an<[

during,

chores

it's diflicult

for

me

to

keep

up

rvith him'

Only

nrrce

tnda-v

dnes

he

have

to

ask me

a

quettion

-

about

tlre

ratio of

shellecl

cortl

to

grower

rneal

in thc

hog Ieed

we're

supposed

to

grind-

ttefore

I can

answer,

he

slaps

his

head

and

saYs,

"Eighty-twcntYl"

Hi*

hair

has

growlr

track

rnore

reddislr

than

before,

ald

the

dark

bags

under

his

e.ves

have

gradually

faded'

I

no

longer

need

to

make

his nrmls

or

shovv-

him

r**rere

u'e keep the

cereal

or

hou'to

fastcn thc

pearl

snaps

on his

shirt-

I scc

lcss

off)arrcn

as

lre

recuperates,

anil

I

can barelyadmit

to

rn1'self

that

part

of

me

wanted

him to

stay

a

little

bit

dependent

on me-

[

miss

the

tinrc

we hacl

toge[her.

As

Darren's

sondiLion

improres,

I

d<rn't

have

an

excuse

to

stayb,vhis

side-I

slip

into thevcrunger-brrther

role,

his friends

retum, and

Darren

gtxs back to

r*"earing'

his

rr*

iacke.t

and

jurlging

lircst(rck'

Fall arrivcs,

ard*'cwork

in

thcficlds

tobring

intlrchartcst'

For

a

mqrnent

f)arreu

migtrt still

forget

how

to

run the

augers

or

ope'rate

the

combine,

but mostly

he

is his

old competent

self,

down

to

the

hinL o[

beer

on his

breath

underntvath

the

collee

and

cigarette

smolie-

But

he

continues

to check

rxrt brxrks

from

the

schtxil

librar,v on

amps,

switches,

and

voltatrp,

poring

over

circuit

schematics

at

night.

He

tinkers

and

tests,

and whenever

wcblow

a

[usc,

it'sDarrcn

who slip

int<r

thebastrncnt

torcplacc

it. He

turrs

sey-enteen

that

winter;

ancl

I become

a

teenager'

On

a coldMarch

morning,Darren

pulls

rnc{rom

hxlto

go

for

a

ride artrund

the

county

with

him.

tie's

been

driving

again

for a

couplc

of months

-

a

picliup on

the

roads,

not

just

trac-

tors

in

the

fields

*-

and

he

relishes

it-

We

stop

at a

gas

station

for cold

pops

and

bags ofchips-

The

rich

spring

fieids, readr

for

planting,

fly b1'our

rtindows-

It'saller

lunch

by

the

tirne

we

get

beck home.

The

next

da1 a

Sundal,

is trvercast.

I'm up

at

dawn,

sittinll

on

the

pnrch a

nd

tyi

ng

the

laces of

my

wnrk

boots when

I

spy

Dar-

ren out

along

the fence

line, lvearing

his

rr,r

iacket

and

walking

without a

cane.

I

go

down

the

porch step*, avoiding

the

patches

of icc on

thcm,

and

cross

thc

gravcl

driYcwa,v,

all

the n'hilc

keeping

my

e.ve

orr

nry

brother.

The suns

first

rays

bounce

over

the

pasture.'Ihe

weather

is

calm,

but it

might change-

March

is

aLnrxt

over,

and tlre

storms

could

come

carly

again

this

year.

As

I

watch

l)arren

stroll

along

the

Pasture,

something

wells up

in

me:

a

kind

of sharp

long,ing,

that

I cannot

narne.

For a brief

period of

time

I

was able

to

give

him

the

sense

of

securitl

he's

always

pruvidcd

mc.

I

had

a

glimpsc

o{

what

iti

likc

to bc

thc

older

brother,

to

be

looked uP

to

for

mysturdiness.

Darrcn

turns

toward

me,

and though

lre cant

makc

eye

contact

from

this

distance,

he beckons

me

to

ioin

hinr, and

I

racc

ol'cr-

'Ihc

wccds arc

coatcd

in

hrrarfrost,

and by

thc

timt

l've

crossed

the

Iield to

where

rny brother

stands,

rn.v cufii

and

work

boots

are

soaked.

\Ye finish

his

walk together,

talking

about

all

tlrc

t-horcs

wc hat'c

alrt'a<I o[

us'

:

September

zor4

r lhe $un

Documents

Tornado Season