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TX Citizen Volume 2 • Issue 5 • January 31, 2013
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You Need This | 7 Day L ive Music Guide | Best of the Wurst
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WHAT A RUSH!All the training, prayers and vitamins pay off for the grapplers of Block Buster Wrestling. Page 6
WHAT A RUSH!All the training, prayers and vitamins pay off for the grapplers of Block Buster Wrestling. Page 6
How was it kissing yourself on New Year's Eve?Don't screw up Valentine's Day.
NO P ROBLEM
!
NO
GAME?
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table of contents1st WordPart Two of our epic piece on where all that Hotel Occupancy Tax money goes. Ain’t pretty.
5SportsBlock Buster Wrestling!
Being BubbaHe’s back!
3
6
13
11
The County ’sMost Wanted
Look mom! Daddy’s in the paper!
Ask a MexicanGustavo of fends in two languages.
8
Sudoku I t ’s good for your brain and stuf f.
Your Horoscope, Featuring the Heavenly Bodies
Don’t make a move without i t.
15
12
Citizen SoundcheckThe ONLY guide of i ts kind for the NB/SM Metroplex!
7
The Beer HunterWhen Mitchell drinks, we all learn something.
14Best of the Wurst BallotVoting is open! Remember what happened the last t ime you didn’t vote…
Community Calendar Stuf f to do. Go do stuf f.
You Need This Get you some.
Around & About We’re All In goes… all in!
DiversionsSooner or later you’re going
to get sick of l ive music…
10
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You and Your Hotel Occupancy Tax: Part Two
Three weeks ago we ran Part One of a two-part piece on where NB’s Hotel Occupancy Tax funds have been spent. To recap, that money is supposed to be used for events and programs designed to bring overnight tourism into the city. What we found is that it’s being used as regular operating capital for any number of arts and heritage organizations, which spend the lion’s share of their allowances on day-to-day expenses and on marketing to local residents. Museums, clubs and certain local media outlets are cleaning up with tax money intended for an entirely different purpose.
But that’s not where most of the money goes. Most of it goes to the Greater New Braunfels Chamber of Commerce. We’ve discovered, from speaking with numerous locals, that most people incorrectly believe that the Chamber is a government entity. This is as good a time as any to point out that it is not. It’s a private club for businesspeople, with two main purposes: 1) Lobbying government on behalf of business, and 2) Throwing killer parties once a month.
Anyone can start a chamber of commerce, which is why you’ll find Hispanic chambers, women’s chambers, and any number of other permutations throughout the world. A chamber of commerce is no more a government entity than the Rotary Club, or the Elks, or any church. In fact, we’re going to start our own chamber of commerce. Maybe bid on some of those sweet City contracts. After all, who has a better relationship with the City’s government than the TX Citizen? And don’t even get us started on alcohol-fueled bacchanals. We’re the kings of that stuff. Ours come with hot chicks, and we pay for our own liquor.
Anyway, now that we know what the Chamber is, we can get to the money. In addition to lobbying City Council, the Chamber and/or its personnel have contracts with the City to provide certain services, such as advising the 4-B Board, and the operation of a Convention and Visitor’s Bureau, or “CVB”. According to the Chamber’s contract with New Braunfels, the City will give “not more than” 50% of the HOT funds to the Chamber’s Convention and Tourist fund.
What the City tells us is that they don’t give any of the money
directly to the fund, but rather turn it over in a lump sum to the Chamber of Commerce, who then disburses it, ostensibly to
promote tourism.Last year the Chamber got
78.95% of the HOT funds, which of course is “more than” the 50% we expected, but the Chamber takes care of the Civic Center and throws some huge bashes with some of that. Still, it should be accounted for separately. That’s one of the problems with the City’s accounting – too many items are just “lumped in” with others, which gives following the money the maximum difficulty rating of ten. Here’s what the Chamber spent HOT funds on in 2012, according to what the City provided us with:
Administration: $355,508.00 Wages: $280,278.43
Car Allowance: $2,056.66
Employee Taxes: $15,879.01
Pensions: $22,744.01
Health Insurance: $34,549.80
Marketing: $662,663.80 (Of which $80,854.62 is tagged as
“Public Relations/Family Tours”. Family tours? We don’t even want to know.)
Environmental Stewardship Campaign: $218,696.80
Now the City was supposed to provide us
with all of the receipts for everything you see above, but the only ones we actually got were for the Environmental Stewardship Campaign - that’s the damage control program the Chamber had to put out there to save the City’s bacon from the hot fat of the disposable container ban. So let’s break down some of the highlights, keeping in mind that the HOT funds are supposed to be spent on bringing overnight tourists into town, not “educating” visitors that are already here, and certainly not for spinning a political disaster:
Continued on next page.
WORD1STMIKE
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Continued from previous page.
Ammo Advertising: $620 for a QR Code. It should be noted that QR codes can be created free in about ten seconds at a number of online sources. Here’s one we made for the grand sum of zero dollars:
See? Go ahead and scan it. It goes to watertherules.com just like the $620 version. Now pay us six hundred bucks.
Note: It took seven seconds to create that code. At that rate of pay, Ammo is billing the Chamber $319,920 an hour. That is excellent work if you can get it.
Dublin & Associates: $15,610 for spin. Dublin is a public relations firm that specializes in damage control for failing businesses. Dublin calls it “crisis management”. Oh dear. How did the cash cow that is New Braunfels find itself in crisis? And how does saving City Hall’s image bring in overnight tourism? We don’t know either.
Billboards: $26,050 for six local billboards designed to entice people already in New Braunfels to visit the Water the Rules website for a good talking to from Nolan Ryan about littering (see the video at watertherules.com). The billboards did not feature an invitation to visit, just an explanation of what we expect from tourists if they were to inadvertently show up. On the plus side, all of the words on these billboards were spelled correctly, unlike this one for Wurstfest:
And to be fair, one of the six billboards was in San Marcos.
Delta Media: $7,958.75 to run the Nolan Ryan littering video at the Creekside Cinema. This I know for sure: When attempting to lure out-of-towners to crash out in any city, advertising in the local movie theater cannot be beat. Those places are packed with people from hundreds of miles away who weren’t planning on spending the night.
As a bonus, Creekside was good enough to show the commercial twice in a row every time they ran it, because, you know, if once was good, twice would be, like, double that. It wasn’t annoying in the least. Total win.
Helen Thompson: $30,865 for “street team” management. Remember those packs of well-scrubbed, spirited young people that were stationed around the city, not to promote overnight tourism, but to explain to people already here what kinds of containers they could take onto the rivers? We do, and somebody had to wrangle them. Helen Thompson got nearly $31,000 to do just that.
Those are just a few of the expenditures we got receipts for on the Environmental Stewardship Campaign. Actual receipts totaled $103,443.41. Wait. That’s a completely different number than the $218,696.80 the City says the Chamber spent. A difference of $115,253.39. It seems $115,253.39 is unaccounted for. But I’m sure that’s nothing to worry about.
One more thing. As you may remember from Part One of this story, the City originally quoted $469 to provide us with all HOT fund receipts for 2011-2012. Fans of the TX Citizen came up with that money. City Hall got back to us when the documents were due and said we could have everything except the Chamber of Commerce receipts for the above price, and if we wanted those it was going to cost us another $234. Anonymous fans came up with that cash too. It seems locals want answers.
We only got a handful of receipts for that money, and not only don’t they add up to the reported expense total, they were buried. We were provided with 41 pages of receipts hidden within, wait for it… 10,423 total pages of stuff we didn’t ask for. Well played, City Hall. Well played, indeed.
In conclusion, we’d love to tell you where all this tax money, earmarked for the promotion of overnight tourism, is going. But neither you, nor I, are permitted that secret. It’s clearly none of our business.
\m/
Mike Reynolds
Publisher/Editor-in-Chief
830-626-9464(WING)983 LOOP 337 • NEW BRAUNFELS, TX 78130
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As a bonus, Creekside was good enough to show the commercial twice in a row every time they ran it, because, you know, if once was good, twice would be, like, double that. It wasn’t annoying in the least. Total win.
Helen Thompson: $30,865 for “street team” management. Remember those packs of well-scrubbed, spirited young people that were stationed around the city, not to promote overnight tourism, but to explain to people already here what kinds of containers they could take onto the rivers? We do, and somebody had to wrangle them. Helen Thompson got nearly $31,000 to do just that.
Those are just a few of the expenditures we got receipts for on the Environmental Stewardship Campaign. Actual receipts totaled $103,443.41. Wait. That’s a completely different number than the $218,696.80 the City says the Chamber spent. A difference of $115,253.39. It seems $115,253.39 is unaccounted for. But I’m sure that’s nothing to worry about.
One more thing. As you may remember from Part One of this story, the City originally quoted $469 to provide us with all HOT fund receipts for 2011-2012. Fans of the TX Citizen came up with that money. City Hall got back to us when the documents were due and said we could have everything except the Chamber of Commerce receipts for the above price, and if we wanted those it was going to cost us another $234. Anonymous fans came up with that cash too. It seems locals want answers.
We only got a handful of receipts for that money, and not only don’t they add up to the reported expense total, they were buried. We were provided with 41 pages of receipts hidden within, wait for it… 10,423 total pages of stuff we didn’t ask for. Well played, City Hall. Well played, indeed.
In conclusion, we’d love to tell you where all this tax money, earmarked for the promotion of overnight tourism, is going. But neither you, nor I, are permitted that secret. It’s clearly none of our business.
\m/
Mike Reynolds
Publisher/Editor-in-Chief
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People who bought this item also bought• Centrifuge• Stuxnet Antivirus• Test Tube Rack• Tupperware with Lead Lining• Egg timer
Found a product you think we should have a look at? Send the link to [email protected].
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Open 10 am/Closed Sunday
Junior, Women’s, Men’s Name Brand Fashions
Shoes, Accessories, Jewelry & Unique Furniture
641 N. Walnut Ave, NB(Across from Town Creek Community)
830.491.8055 or 210.243.9409
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Gift Certificates & Layaway Available!
COMMUNITY CALENDAR1 2 3
5 6 7
9 10 11
13 14 15
17 18 19
PET PHOTO SHOOTCounty Line Veterinary Clinic is holding another open photo shoot
on Thursday, January 31 from 7:30-5pm for pets in New Braunfels
- one of the pictures will be chosen for our 2014 CLVC Pets of New
Braunfels Calendar. Props and a background will be provided and
all participants will receive an emailed copy of the picture. For more
information, call 830-626-2582.
KIDS FUN DAY AT RAILROAD MUSEUMThe popular ‘Kids Fun Day’ at the New Braunfels Railroad Museum
is back for February! All kids will have the opportunity to run the
model trains, as well as check out the large US Army model garden
scale train, Lego building, and full-size steam engine, caboose, dining
car, and box car. 10:00 am to 2:00 pm, Sunday, February 2. For more
information, call 830-627-2447.
FAT TUESDAY PUB CRAWLCome experience all the fun of the Big Easy, NB style! The fun begins
with check in and Mardi Gras Happy Hour at the Faust Brewing Co. Enjoy
drink specials, live music & CRAZY FUN as the crawl makes its way around
the downtown bar district until last call! This is a non-profit event, designed
to stimulate our downtown economy! The party starts at 6:30pm, February
12, at the Faust Brewing Company. For more information, search for Fat
Tuesday Party Gras Pub Crawl 2013 on Facebook.
SART BENEFIT PERFORMANCEThe Spotlight Theater’s February 21 performance of “A Time to Heal”
will benefit the Comal County Sexual Assault Response Team. Based on
an actual event, the play combines the story of a segregated hospital with
words and experiences of civil rights demonstrators in the 1960’s.
The theater is located at 1300 Bulverde Road in Bulverde. Admission
is $18 per person, cash or check only. For tickets or more information,
contact Brooke or Stacy at 210-385-3635. Curtain time is 8pm.
GOT AN EVENT TO PROMOTE? We’ll get the word out for you!
Send the details to [email protected].
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6 AD SALES 830.483.9563 TXCITIZEN.COM 7
The boys of Block Buster Wrestling took to the ring last Saturday at Big Al’s Gardens for an impressive display of both their endurance and collective threshold of pain. The next show on the schedule is set for February at the Texas Ski Ranch. Check them out at facebook.com/BBFNDUB for date/time details as they are released.
TXCITIZEN.COM 7
Buffalo Wings & RingsKaraokeTuesday Nights, 7:30pm
TriviaThursday Night, 7:30pm
Faust Brewing CompanyTriviaThursday Nights, 8pm
Freiheit Country StoreKaraokeFriday Nights, 8pm
TriviaSaturday Nights, 7:30pm
Happy CowTriviaWednesday Nights, 8pm
KaraokeThursday Nights, 8pm
Old Ice HouseDJWednesdays
KaraokeThursdays
DJFridays
DJSaturdays
KaraokeSundays
Prickly Pear LoungeKaraokeThursdays
DJ KCFridays
KaraokeSaturdays
The Watering Hole SaloonKaraokeThursdays
Country Dance LessonsFridays, 7:30pm - FREE
DJFridays
DJSaturdays
KaraokeDJ + TriviaAROUND & ABOUT
The “We’re All In” livestock buying group got together for their annual buyer appreciation social, this time out at the Dry Comal Creek Vineyards. The group raises money to help boost the sale price of low bid ag projects on the block at the Comal County Junior Livestock show, which this year is scheduled for March 2. We’re All In will have two steers and two hogs from the show processed, freezer wrapped, and donated to the Comal County Crisis Center, the Comal County Senior Foundation, New Life Children’s Center of Canyon Lake and St Jude’s Children’s Shelter. Mmm… tasty.
If you would like to join the group and get involved in this year’s sale, contact Levi McBee at 210-827-7548 or [email protected]!
(L to R) Bobby Crafts of State Farm Insurance, Jeff Dees of Lone Star Silver Smith, Eric Scroggin of
Cravings Restaurant, Kelly Holmes, Levi McBee of Buffalo Wings and Rings, and Tyler Handrick.
Absent on Photo Day: Kathy Bearden-Porter of DJs Fundraising
8 AD SALES 830.483.9563
Thu 1.31
Adobe VerdeGarrett Heinrichs8pm
AJ’s Ale HouseRock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show9pm
Billy’s Ice HouseCody Lawson8pm
Black Whale Pub3 Man Front9pm
Cheatham Street WarehouseBri Bagwell Band9pm, $10
Freiheit Country Store50’s/60’s Country Open Mic6pm
Gruene HallA.C. & the Bad Billys6pm
Oma Gruene’s Secret GartenJam Night w/ The Kinfolk6pm
On The Half Shell Oyster BarLeann, Ken & Ashley9pm
Phoenix SaloonJames Pardo5pm
Riley’s TavernBeverly Hensley9pm
Triple CrownErickson6pmSwimming With Bears, Relief, Dangerous Animal, Are You Crazy?9pm, $5
Uptown Piano BarAshley Stone8pm
Fri 2.1Adobe Verde
Dim Lit Daylight8pm
AJ’s Ale HouseRock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show9pm
Billy’s Ice HouseNo Refund Band8pm
Black & Tan PubT-Bone & the Bluetones8pm
Cheatham Street WarehouseThe Trishasw/ Brandy Zdan9pm
Gruene HallRadney Foster8pm, $20
The Happy CowRamsay Midwood8pm
Oma Gruene’s Secret GartenPepper’s Blues6pm
On The Half Shell Oyster Bar2 Lane Alley9pm
Phoenix SaloonDaniel Thomas Phipps5pmLucas Taylor & Old Soul9pm
Riley’s TavernCover Girl9pm
River Road Ice HouseThe Damn Quailsw/ Anson Carter8pm, $10
Tavern in the Gruene3 Man Front8pm
Texas Music TheaterStoney LaRuew/ Rob Baird8pm, $15-$60
Triple CrownBrock Zeman, Mark Jungers6pmThe Blue Flames, The Sonomatics,AC & The Bad Billys10pm, $5
Uptown Piano BarBarry Adams8pm
Vino en VerdeThe Vagabonds8pm
Vineyard at GrueneTony Taylor7pm
Sat 2.2Adobe Verde
Bru Erdman8pm
AJ’s Ale HouseRock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show9pm
Billy’s Ice HouseDean Seltzer, Anson Carter8pm
Black & Tan PubSkies of Fire, DJ Aislin, DJ Tofer8pm
Black Whale PubTBA9pm
Cheatham Street WarehouseAdam Johnson Band9pm
Gruene HallJon Christopher Davis & Lone Star Attitude1pmJoe Ely Band9pm, $20
The Happy CowOpie Hendrix6pm
Oma Gruene’s Secret GartenCharlie & The Cool Cats1pmThe Texas Saints6pm
Phoenix SaloonThe Beaumontsw/ A.C. & the Bad Billys9pm
Riley’s TavernRoy Heinrich & the Pickups9pm
River Road Ice HouseRoadside Libby8pm
Texas Music TheaterAaron Watsonw/ Cody Johnson8pm, $12-$96
Triple CrownThe Death Dodgers, BeerGnomes,Buzz n’ Bangs, Giant Salvinia10pm, $5
Uptown Piano BarJohn Maclean8pm
Vino en VerdeThe Alli Mattice Band9pm
Vineyard at GrueneKenn, LeAnn, Ashley & Shawn7pm
Sun 2.3Adobe Verde
Allan Goodman8pm
Gruene HallHill Country Gentlemen12:30pm
Oma Gruene’s Secret GartenSlim Bawb2pm
CITIZEN SOUNDCHECK
8 AD SALES 830.483.9563 TXCITIZEN.COM 9
CITIZEN SOUNDCHECKFri 2.1
Antone’sCory Morrow
w/ Brian Keane, Mayeux & Broussard
8pm, $15-$125
The Continental ClubClub Lineup:
The Blues Specialists, 6:30pm
Barbara Lynn, 10pm, $15
Renaldo Domino, 11:15pm
Archie Bell, 12:30am
Gallery Lineup:
The Robert Kraft Trio, 8:30pm
The Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5
Floore’s Country StoreNick Lawrence Band
8pm, $8
Red Eyed FlyHeather Bishop Band
10pm, Inside
Green’s Buds
w/ Waitsix, Mind at Large, Standard
Series,
The Dewey Decibal System
8:30pm, Outside
Sam’s Burger JointJunior Brown
w/ Matt King
8pm, $20
Stetson BarChris Salinas & the Wildgrass Band
9:30pm
Stubb’s BBQThe Tontons
w/ The Couch, Emily Bell
9pm, Inside, $10
Sat 2.2
Antone’sDel Castillo
w/ DAHEBEGEBEES, Javier Chaparro &
Salud
8pm, $15-$150
The Continental ClubClub Lineup:
Red Volkaert, 3:30pm
James Hand, 10pm, $10
Belfuries, 12am
Gallery Lineup:
Scarlett Olson, 8:30pm, $10
The Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30, $5
Floore’s Country StoreBart Crow
w/ Scooter Brown
8pm, $12
Red Eyed FlyExit (CD Release)
w/ The Nimbus, A Sky Jet Black,
Echoes Over Voices, Rescue Mission
8:30pm, Outside
Sam’s Burger JointWhat Made Milwaukee Famous
w/ Ghosts & Rivers
8pm, $12
Stetson BarSmall Town Habit
9:30pm
Stubb’s BBQSons of Fathers
w/ Beau Jennings & The Tigers
7pm, Inside, $10
Mon 2.4
Cheatham Street WarehouseMark Jungers & Brock Zeman
w/ Mike Ethan Messick, Jordan Minor
9pm
Gruene HallBret Graham
6pm
Riley’s TavernSongwriter Showcase
w/ John Whipple
8pm
River Road Ice HouseEmpty Handed Vagabonds
8pm
Tavern in the GrueneCourt Nance & Friends
8pm
Triple Crown
Gerry’s Kids
6pm
Chief & TheDoomsdayDevice
10pm
Tues 2.5
Billy’s Ice HouseKyle Reed & Steven Roloff
8:00pm
Cheatham Street WarehouseRandy Rogers
9pm
Gruene HallBrock Zeeman
w/ Adam Caroll & Mark Jungers
6pm
The Happy CowTenacious Tuesday Open Blues Jam
8pm
Riley’s TavernManzy Lowry
9pm
Tavern in the GrueneRoots & Branches of Americana
7pm
The Blooms
9:30pm
Triple CrownBen Schane
6pm
Paperback, Boone Graham, Peter Diebold,
Rubber Crutch, Tramps on Lean
9pm
Wed 2.6
Black & Tan PubKenCentric
9pm
Buffalo Wings & RingsSteven Roloff & Friends
7:30pm
Cheatham Street WarehouseKyle Park
w/ Will Arrington & Brett Hauser
9:30pm
Gruene HallMarshall Hood Band
6pm
Riley’s TavernTyler Cannon
9pm
Triple CrownAaron Stephens
6pm
Grimnasty, Chief & TheDoomsdayDevice,
SymmaTree, Rocbox, Robo, Yayo,
R.U.D.E. Crew, Ladii Fynesse
9pm, $5
Uptown Piano BarJohn Maclean
8pm
Watering Hole SaloonKorey & Dana
8:30pm
SOUND TOWNOUTOF
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
10 AD SALES 830.483.9563
By Gustavo Arellano
Dear Mexican: Grammar question/rant. If Spanglish is a legitimate dialect/language, why do you feel the need to italicize every instance of code switching? I seriously doubt that when you speak you emphasize every puta palabra (emphasis intended here), but that’s what your article reads like. We all know that you are speaking Spanglish—not a foreign language—so tell the gabacho (no emphasis intended here) editors to back off and let you use italics for what they are intended for: emphasis.
Strunk & Brown
Dear Wab: Gracias for thinking that Spanglish is a legitimate form of communication—you just made the custodians of Cervantes and shepherds of Shakespeare get angrier than Joe Arpayaso surrounded by a group of Mexicans! But we’re talking two separate cosas here. My linguistic goal with this columna isn’t for America to accept Spanglish, but for American English and its speakers to pick up more Spanish words so that one day, I won’t have to use italics on said words to differentiate their otherness.
It’s happened over the decades: at one point, editors italicized Spanish words like amigo, tequila, fiesta, and siesta because they were foreign concept to gabacho audiences, but the words were used enough so that we no longer italicize them. Think of it as a linguistic Reconquista, of Latin slowly beating down English’s Germanic influences!
The only way to teach an audience a new palabra, then, is to signify a code switch via the italics, but I make sure to use simple Spanish words that can possibly gain wider currency—gabacho, pendejo, desmadre—and eventually assimilate into the American lingua franca and cultura. And I don’t have to worry about any gabacho editors telling me when to use italics and when I can’t—I’m the pinche Mexican, for crying out loud. But even this cabrón cannot persuade the unforgiving pen of his copy editor, who can make the most grizzled reporter tremble with just a flash of the red pluma.
Do you have any idea why
Univisión and Telemundo look so much sharper and better than any other HD
programming on any other channel? They looked better even before HD was en vogue. My guess is that they don’t use filters that everyone else uses.
Techie Gabacho
Dear Gabacho: Same reason porn is always at the forefront of technology: gotta make those chichis shine!
I just learned that Nueva Vizcaya was “settled” by Basques and it got me to thinking: are there any noticeable regional differences in Mexico based on the regions in Spain where the original Spaniards came from? If so, where can I read more about it?
Euskadi Enthusiast
Dear Gabacho: Nueva Vizcaya, of course, refers to the province of New Spain that nowadays roughly encompasses Chihuahua and Durango, and parts of Sonora, Sinaloa, and other northern Mexico states, and was named by the Basque explorer Francisco de Ibarra after Biscay.
Other Spanish explorers also named provinces in New Spain after their home regions—Nuevo Galicia, Nuevo León (which the modern-day Mexican state is named after), and the awesomely titled Nuevo Santander, after the city in the kingdom of Cantabria. But in terms of large-scale regional Spanish migration to particular areas of Mexico during the era of the Conquistadors, the Mexican is going to have to plead partial mestizaje on this one.
The most famous mass settling of particular groups happened in what’s now the United States—Canary Islanders in San Antonio, and marranos (crytpo-Jews) in New Mexico—while outside of northern Mexico and its concentration of Garzas, most of the other Spaniards just melted into the pozole. All the early Spanish immigrants ultimately left as a legacy in Mexico was Spanish, surnames, and a taste for ultra-violence.
MOST WANTED
$200REWARD
COMAL COUNTY ’S
MEZA,JUAN MARTINMale • 5’07” • 215 lbsDOB: 04/15/1987CHARGE: Bail jumping and fail to appear, Failure to appear/theft of property under $1500 with two or more previous convictions
MEDINA,ARCILIA VARGASFemale • 5’02” • 182 lbsDOB: 04/14/1954CHARGE: Theft of property over $1500 under $20,000 enhanced
ROSSER, MICHAEL WAYNEMale • 5’09” • 135 lbsDOB: 01/25/1972CHARGE: Evading arrest, Detention with vehicle
MORALES, VANESSAFemale • 5’01” • 202 lbsDOB: 02/25/1983CHARGE: Two counts of driving while intoxicated with a child passenger
GRUNDMANN,ERIC ANTHONYMale • 6’00” • 180 lbsDOB: 07/16/1977CHARGE: Motion to proceed with adjudication for assault public servant
SANCHEZ,ANICA MARIE
Female • 5’05” • 130 lbsDOB: 02/16/1987CHARGE: Securing execution of doc by
deception in the aggregate of over $20,000 under
$100,000 from elderly and theft of property in the
aggregate value of over $20,000 under $100,000
SHILLING,LORI LYNNE
Female • 5’01” • 125 lbsDOB: 06/13/1956
CHARGE: Insurance fraud over $1500
under $20,000
STEVENS, RODNEY ALEXANDER
Male • 6’02” • 170 lbsDOB: 08/01/1989
CHARGE:Motion to proceed with adjudica-
tion for theft of property over $1500
under $20,000
WILLIAMSON,DEREK DAKOTAMale • 5’08” • 150 lbs
DOB: 01/28/1988CHARGE:
Theft of firearm
SILVA, HENRY CASTILEON
Male • 5’10” • 182 lbsDOB: 10/20/1963
CHARGE: Theft of property over $20,000
under $100,000
The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act Code 552.001 st.seq.annotated Public Record and Information disclosure statues. This is a true and accurate account as of Monday, January 28, 2013 at 10:00 am and may not be current by the time it is read. Do not try to apprehend anyone. For anonymous tips and rewards, please contact Crime Stoppers at: 24-Hour Phone number 830.620.3400; Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm 830.620.3411. These are listings of criminal warrants with the Sheriff’s Office and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the status of each warrant prior to making an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.
FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF COMAL COUNTY’S MOST WANTED. Callers will remain anonymous. 830.620.3400 - 24-Hour830.620.3411 - Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm
-ARREST
ED-
-RECALLED
-
Ask the Mexican at [email protected], be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano or ask him a video question at youtube.
com/askamexicano!
ASK A MEXICAN!
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Uncle Esel,I recently started watching
basketball which I have never had an interest in before. Some of the rules are pretty complicated to a new watcher like me, but what I wonder about is the 24-second clock. How did that come about?
Thanks,Wayne
Dear Wayne,That rule was put in place in 1954. Up
until that time, the game of basketball had grown a little boring and attendance was way off in the preceding years. Imagine going to a Spurs game against the Lakers and at the end of the game the score would be 21-16. Well, that’s exactly what was starting to happen. Coaches would build a lead and then sit on the ball for as long as possible until a player was fouled. At the end of some games, the last few minutes would sometimes take over half an hour to play out with intentional fouling being the only way to get the ball turned over. With the advent of the 24-second clock, the tempo picked up and the scoring suddenly skyrocketed which was just fine with the fans. Most believe that the 24-second clock saved basketball from possible extinction.
Love, K
Dear Mr. Esel,I read somewhere that eye drops
cause diarrhea and that some waiters have been known to put it in your drink or food to pay back an obnoxious customer. I thought back to some times where I have gotten sick and was wondering if this might have happened to me. Do eye drops do this?
Thank You,Marty
Dear Marty,I’ve heard this story about bartenders
using Visine to payback some drunk moron before, but I don’t think I’ve heard of it in food establishments. Visine contains Tetrahydrozoline which, amongst the many things it can do, can give a person severe diarrhea, but that is a less common side effect it can have. More importantly, in sufficient quantity, Tetrahydrozoline can kill. There have been many cases of Tetrahydrozoline spiking that have resulted in severe medical problems including comas, hospitalization and even
death. Of course spiking someone’s food or drink with Visine would be a criminal offense and given the seriousness of the reactions that are known, doing so would likely land a person in jail on a serious offense. Now, spiking with common laxatives that are made to be ingested, that’s a whole other matter.
Love, K
Uncle Esel,Were you fooled by Lance
Armstrong all those years when he said he wasn’t doping? With all the baseball and football druggies, is there any sport sacred?
Sincerely,Mike
Dear Mike,First let me state that I have taken no
column-enhancing drugs during my career as a sage advice columnist. While the editor has made snide remarks about my seemingly un-bounding energy and my ability to knock out a column at the wee hours of the morning, it is all done naturally through the effective use of pizza and hops and barley along with a time honored technique of fermentation. What I do know is that no amount of drugs or blood doping will even help me finish one leg of the Tour de France.
Esel did read however of a new drug doping issue that has surfaced in Paralympics curling. Now, Uncle Esel has never thought of curling as a sport, given its popularity in Canada along with competitive canoeing, but it sure is hard to say anything bad about it with the word Paralympics in front of it for fear of going to Hell. According to deadspin.com, Jim Armstrong, Canada’s biggest paralyzed curler, has been suspended for taking an estrogen blocker frequently used to mask symptoms of steroid use (enlarged male breasts). Not helping his claims of mistaken ingestion was a prior conviction for smuggling Viagra into the USA. His is also not the only case in the word of curling, so perhaps no sport is safe from cheaters.
Love, K
ADVICE FROM
UNCLE ESEL
Uncle K. Esel is a lifetime resident of our fair city, and is well known for his sage advice on a wide range of topics. If you find yourself perplexed with no one to turn to, send your question to Uncle Esel at: [email protected]. Be sure to write “Question for Uncle Esel” in the subject line of your email.
ASK A MEXICAN!
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Located in the heart of downtown New Braunfels, the Historic Faust Hotel & Brewing Company is a one-stop destination offering a variety of House Brews, Full Bar and Tapas-Style Menu, and Redesigned Guestrooms, Suites, and Event Center, which feature 1920’s Art Deco design while incorporating modern amenities.
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Your Birthday this WeekWITH THE "HEAVENLY BODIES", HELEN AND EILEEN CUNNINGHAM
Happy Birthday Aquarius! The sooner you
listen to my interpretation of the stars the
better. This week your stars are in the house of
liberation. Now, if you want your spirit to reach
its most evolved plain, then enter a wet t-shirt
contest as soon as possible. Have no fear, you
will win. Regardless of gender or age, hurry to
the nearest parasitic college town swill hole
and dance beneath its finest water spouts. Go!
Your spirit is thirsty!
Dear Aquarius: I want you to get out a thin, permanent marker, and roll up the stockings on your left leg. Trace out all of your varicose veins. Do you notice that point where six or more lines intersect? If you do, that is the location of Alfred Ely Beach's famous lost fortune. Now, the stars have not revealed to me exactly which subway system your varicose leg map applies to, so you've got some work to do!
Note: if you trace the veins on your right leg instead, you will get rabies this week.
TXCITIZEN.COM 13
PRICKLY PEAR LOUNGE
As always, we urge you to DRINK RESPONSIBLY
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Est. 1986
Brouwerij Sterkens - Bokrijks Belgian Golden Ale
Have you ever been to a liquor store or bottle shop, checking out a particularly boring set of big-name brews, desperately looking for something that maybe - just maybe - you haven’t had yet? More often than not, I find myself in this situation, and even more often end up not finding anything. However, every once in a while, usually in some mom-n-pop store, there will be just ONE thing that seems to have materialized just out of time.
I don’t know what prompts something like this, maybe a pet favorite of the owner, stocked to facilitate breaking Scarface rule number one: “Never get high on your own supply.” Maybe it’s someone who just really doesn’t understand a true beer-lover’s motivations and wanted to get something in a cool bottle with a foreign name and big price tag. Whatever it is, it can sometimes be a useful time to gamble on a gem in the rough.
I found myself in this situation shortly after moving and making my first efforts into finding new nearby things. Besides having the world’s most boring beer list, (omitting today’s subject), and possibly the biggest collection of B-List celebrity vanity alcohols, it also had an extremely unhappy owner perched a good half-yard higher behind the counter than the store floor. (Short note on B-List celebrity vanity alcohols: they are almost universally undrinkable swill, the only thing I’ve heard is actually rather good is Adam Carolla’s Mangria. Let me know in this web-space if you recommend it.)
First selling point for this bottle: It’s one of those ancient-looking brown stoneware/clay bottles with the metal and ceramic re-settable Grolsch-style caps. I love reusable bottles, and I’ve actually always used these big stone ones in the kitchen to pound cutlets, crush garlic, defend against intruders, etc, and also to mix up a big cocktail before a party to serve in individual portions.
Anyway, you could tell this was a very “For-
Belgians” Belgian golden ale. The label was no-frills, and had very minimal matter-of-fact info on it: Top fermented, traditional Belgian style, second fermentation in the jar, (I guess this kind of bottle is a jar?). Considering that it goes under a second fermentation, I made sure to be careful to not stir up a bunch of yeast when I poured.
It came out a shining, golden clear yellow, with big bubble carbonation. The head was dry, thick, and fluffy, not to mention plentiful. The nose it gave off was, predictably, very yeasty. A very pleasing, bready yeast, and some pilsner-like malt scents. Well, it certainly smelled like a Belgian golden ale. The taste was surprisingly complex. Starts off crisp as heck, very refreshing, and leads right into the light crystal malt flavor.
The carbonation wasn’t too bad, despite the big bubbles. Had kind of a British ESB hop characteristic, very sharp, and just a tad herbal and citrus. The malt got much sweeter and honeyed the more you delved into it, and made for quite a pleasing, sessionable beer. Gambled and won.
THE
WITH MITCHELL WILBURN
Mitchell Wilburn is our resident bon vivant and arbiter of all things barley. Send your beer questions to him at [email protected].
HAPPY COWa n u d d e r k i n d a p l a c e
B A R & G R I L L
9103 FM 1102“San Braunfels”
(Hunter, TX)512.353.0030
Every Tuesday Night Tenacious Tuesday Open Jam
Every Wed Trivia Night
Feb 1 Ramsay Midwood
Feb 2 Opie Hendrix
Feb 8 Cover Girls
Feb 9 Texas Saints
Feb 15 The Hill Country Gentlemen
Feb 16 Jordan Minor (Facial Hair
Contest and Beltsander Races)
14 TX CITIZEN 14 AD SALES 830.483.9563 TXCITIZEN.COM 15
Being Bubba – Rise Up New BraunfelsWhere the heck have you guys been? I begged my way back to writing once in a while for this fine weekly publication for one reason. As promised, I wanted to be nominated for and win the Wurst of the Best Columnist this year. A category Mike Reynolds did not include because only a Bubba could win a Wurst of the Best award. He’s pretty tricky.
Actually I have semi un-retired for a more important reason. Did you know that we have two of the best MMA fighters in the state living and training right here in New Braunfels? We do, and I am proud of them for many more reasons than the fact that they train at Warriors Edge. They are Billy Buch and Ray Rodriquez, they will be fighting on Friday, February 1, at The Texas Legacy Fighting Championship 17 at Cowboy’s in San Antonio. Let me tell you a little bit more about them:
Ray “El Torito” Rodriquez moved to New Braunfels as a young kid and grew up fighting here. He is 3-1 as a professional and is a “working class” fighter. I say this because he works 70 hours a week in a rock quarry. He’s also a daddy of two beautiful kids - his daughter Kitty who is five and his son Christopher who is nine.
Ray was supposed to fight last January but had to call it off when his daughter Kitty was in a bad car accident and had to be life-flighted to a San Antonio hospital. We all held our breath, prayed a bunch, and waited patiently as she made a full recovery. I know she has recovered because she chases me around Warriors Edge with a stick while Ray is training! I love hearing her laugh.
Ray relies on his boxing and wrestling skills in the cage. I have attached a picture of his last knockout for those of you who might question his boxing skills. There was no need to go to the scorecards after this punch landed folks.
He is fighting Ray Rodriquez on February 1st. No that is not a typo, this Ray Rodriquez is from San Antonio, and he can fight too. I picked him as one of the best up and coming fighters in the state of Texas on the TV show I do, Texas Fight Night.
Both Rays started messaging me as soon as they found out they were fighting each other and I had to stop for two reasons.
1. I am easily confused and this was by far the most confusing 3 way conversation I had ever been involved in.
2. As much as I enjoy Ray “The Judge” Rodriquez of San Antonio, he is not our Ray Rodriquez, so I told him we would talk again February 2.
Ray is a great fighter, and a better dad. I am so proud and lucky to have him representing Warriors Edge. New Braunfels, you should be proud to have him representing you while he is fighting one of the best fighters Texas has to offer at a Legacy event and on national TV on axs.tv.
Billy Buch. Well, where do I start? I have made more bad decisions than good ones in my
life, and one of the few good ones I have made was asking Billy Buch to coach our MMA team
here at Warriors Edge. There were several guys I considered, but only one that I wanted, and
we are lucky to have him.
Billy fights with bad intentions. He is by far one of the most well rounded mixed martial artists
I have ever been around, and I have had the pleasure of being around a bunch of good ones.
Being able to travel the state of Texas and cover mixed martial arts is a pleasure I enjoy. I
have seen many of the best this state has to offer and I can say without a shadow of doubt that
Billy is also one of the most technical fighters I have ever seen.
You mix the skill Billy has with his bad intentions, then add 200 pounds of heart in
a 135 lb fighter and someone is going to need a Band-Aid. To make things worse for his
opponent, undefeated Patrick Ybarra of Corpus Christi, Billy is pissed off because of the
“1” in his loss column.
His lone loss came after he knocked his last opponent out, breaking the poor guy’s jaw,
nose, and orbital bones around his left eye. It seems that an inexperienced ref confused a well-
placed liver kick with a low blow and DQ’d Billy.
Well here’s a picture of the “phantom” kick, and while it took me nine years to get out of
college, I’m pretty sure the area you see Billy’s foot attached to is not his opponents groin. The
kick that followed will live in infamy.
I have never seen Billy train so hard for a fight. You ain’t gonna want to miss what’s about to happen in San Antonio on February 1.
Folks, New Braunfels is a sports town. I don’t think anyone can argue that MMA is the fastest growing sport in this country, and you have two of Texas’ finest living and training right here with you. Show your support. Go to the fight and yell real loud with the rest of us. If you can’t make it, honk when you drive by next time knowing they are training hard to represent you New Braunfels.
There aren’t any other fighters that I want representing me… and I have a choice.Until next time…
Keepin it real,Bubba
With Bubba Norton
TXCITIZEN.COM 15
BEST OF THE
WURST 2013
TIME TO VOTE!
TURN IN YOUR BALLOT BYMONDAY, MARCH 4, AT 8AM!
INGESTIONBest Breakfast Tacos Los Gallos El Nopolito Granzin BBQ
Best Coffee Wake the Dead (San Marcos) Gruene Grind Co�ee Co. New Braunfels Co�ee Company
Best Mexican Adobe Cafe Cancun District One Councilman Richard Zapata
Best Burger The Happy Cow Phoenix Saloon Freiheit Country Store Faust Brewing Company
Best Pizza Bosses Pizza Valentino’s (San Marcos) Calahan’s New York Pizza Pub
Best BBQ Granzin BBQ Cooper’s BBQ Rudy’s BBQ
PEOPLE & PLACESBest Bar The Black Whale Pub Faust Brewing Company Prickly Pear Lounge Phoenix Saloon Sean Patrick’s (San Marcos) The Happy Cow The Old Ice House Bu�alo Wings and Rings
Best Bartender Janna – The Happy Cow Haley – Prickly Pear Lounge Brandie – Phoenix Saloon Teresa - Phoenix Saloon Hollie – The Black Whale Pub Tyler – Bu�alo Wings and Rings
Best Live Music Venue Phoenix Saloon Triple Crown (San Marcos) Oma Gruene’s Secret Garten
Best Place to Dance Gruene Hall Phoenix Saloon The Happy Cow
Best Make-Out Spot Phone Booth in Faust Hotel Lobby Phoenix Saloon Basement Bar Underground @ Oma Gruene’s Distribution Room – TX Citizen
Best Bier Garten Oma Gruene’s Secret Garten Friesenhaus Boho Bites
Favorite Local Band Javi Garcia + The CCG The Georges 3 Man Front Favorite Solo Act Daniel Thomas Phipps Claire Cunningham Lucas Taylor
DIVERSIONSBest Trivia Night The Happy Cow Faust Brewing Co. Bu�alo Wings and Rings
Best Karaoke Freiheit Country Store Prickly Pear Lounge The Happy Cow The Old Ice House
Best Local Event that Begins with “W” and Ends in “Fest” Wurstfest Wein and Sangerfest Wassailfest
INDUSTRYBest Tattoo Studio Body Expressions River Rat Tattoo Mystic Marks (San Marcos) Pan American Tattoo
Best Tourist Attraction Guadalupe River Outside City Limits Schilitterbahn Snake Farm Any NB City Council Meeting
Best Local Newspaper TX Citizen Herald-Zeitung (Disquali�ed - Houston Owned)
CIVICSMost Horrible Local Politician Currently Holding Of�ce District One Councilman Richard Zapata Precinct Three Commissioner Kevin Webb Mayor Gale Pospisil
Least Horrible Local Politician Currently Holding Of�ce Precinct Three Commissioner Kevin Webb District One Councilman Richard Zapata Mayor Gale Pospisil
Best Non-Of�ce Holding Public Figure Michael Meek Mike Reynolds Stoney Williams
Worst Non-Of�ce Holding Figure City Manager Michael Morrison Kathleen Krueger Bob Krueger Mike Reynolds
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