Sibling Rivalry Causes Depression in Mother’s Favorite Child: Study

Sibling rivalry has existed as long as families and has been a concern for most parents. Even

though parents usually try to equally distribute their love among all their children, they do

feel differently about them depending on their personalities, differing needs, dispositions

and place in the family. Though they are known to be impartial, at times they may favor a

child who they perceive to be similar to them, in terms of values and belief. Studies have

revealed that kids who considered themselves closer to their mothers experienced less

closeness with their siblings. Surprisingly, these children also reported higher depressive

symptoms, especially when they were both favored and provided care by their mothers.

Among other reasons, being the target of sibling rivalry and feeling obligated towards their

parents are two other important reasons that take a toll on their mental well-being. The

influence of siblings on one another can be enormous and that parental favoritism is

associated with lower self-esteem and higher rates of anxiety and depression in the favored

child.

What causes sibling rivalry?

Studies suggest that children are highly sensitive of how they're being treated by their

parents. They may pick up on any kind of disparity and act out to get attention. When a

parent showers more love and attention to his or her favorite child and is unable to monitor

the problems between children, often the siblings and their relationships suffer. The

following reasons can be held responsible for conflicts among the young siblings:

– Position in the family: Based on age and maturity level, the oldest child may be

burdened with responsibilities of the younger children. At times, a younger child

makes concerted efforts to be at par with the older sibling, even if it damages his

self-esteem or psychological well-being.

– Gender: In certain families, a son may hate his sister because parents are gentler

with her, while a daughter may wish she could go on outdoor trips more often like

her brother.

– Age: With rising age, siblings may become poles apart in terms of behavior and

habits.

Study on siblings in midlife

Apparently, these feelings don’t diminish with time and can take a toll even on the favored,

leading to depression and anxiety in them. A study by researchers at Purdue University

suggests that adults who believe they are their mother’s favorite child are at an increased

risk of depression and anxiety. In the study, the researchers analyzed the data of 725 adults,

with their mothers aged between 65 and 75 years, from 309 families. Starting in 2001, the

study was conducted in two phases seven years apart.

The researchers focused on the children’s

relationships with their mothers with greater

emphasis on four dimensions of favoritism –

emotional closeness, conflict, pride and

disappointment. Interestingly, the siblings

continued to compare themselves with each

other well into middle age and these constant

appraisal and judgments were the root cause

of unhappiness. The children who were closer to their mothers were more likely to

experience tension from their siblings and feel a greater responsibility for taking care of

their aging mothers.

The findings shed light on the role of relationships among adult siblings in midlife, by taking

into consideration the children’s perception regarding their mother's favoritism.

“Adult children who reported that they were most emotionally close to their mothers also

reported higher depressive symptoms,” the study found. “Depressive symptoms were also

higher when respondents identified themselves as being the children with whom their

mothers had the greatest conflict, and in whom the mothers were most disappointed,” it

said.

The way forward

Whatever be the cause of anxiety or depression, it is treatable – the sooner the better.

Psychotherapy can help in case of mild to moderate anxiety disorders and depression as it

works by understanding and changing thoughts and behaviors that contribute to how your

children feel. Most children are usually unable to get over their problem without

professional help.

If your loved one is dealing with an anxiety disorder that needs medical intervention, get in

touch with one of the good anxiety treatment centers in California. Anxiety Treatment

Centers of California can connect you to one of the most suitable anxiety clinics in

California depending on your need. You can call anytime at 855-972-9459 to speak to one of

our representatives for more information.

www.anxietytreatmentcentersofcalifornia.com