SMITH HUBBARD TICHENOR & FLEANOR GOLDENGATE’S

for July 29, 2012

DOUBLECROSS

THIS WEEK -- the SOLUTION to:

WHAT’s INDICATED by the HIDDEN ‘X’ THAT … “ MARKS THE SPOT ”

on the DEVIANT CARTOGRAPHY of PORT ORFORD (Oregon) –

AND!! This Week’s NEW S.Y.M.-Zonia ™

WHAT REALLY HAPPENED UP the SHIX RIVER – and … DID YOU BRING YOUR PADDLE?

But First … !!!

From the desk of

WELCOME , PLAYERS!! Welcome back to S.Y.M.-Zonia.™ PLAYERS: IN THIS ISSUE of S.Y.M.-Zonia™ we continue our continuing investigation of the … well … what, after all, turned out to be …just another TREASURE MAP -- as was revealed last week, almost by accident , in fact, or -- truth-be-told -- totally by accident (more on this below) -- that is: Lt. Robert Stockton Williamson’s Sketch of the Umpqua and Rogue Rivers, & Intermediate Country from Reconnaissance (1851). A critical portion of that mission critical map is shown at right.: Yes, it’s the famous PORT ORFORD (Oregon) “INSET” map by Williamson, featured in last week’s S.Y.M.-Zonia ™ What’s Indicated by the Hidden ‘X’ That … “ Marks the Spot ” on Lt.. Robert Stockton Williamson’s Deviant Cartography of Port Orford (Oregon)?? ?? (Revealed Under the Light of L.-L.U.V.)? (July 22, 2012). The map was therein revealed under the light of L-L.U.V., to sport a hidden, secret “X” marking the spot -- proving, after all, as we said, that it’s just … another TREASURE MAP… And that < Yawn > can get old!! Fast. ZZZzzzzzz.. Zzzzz zzzzzzzzz …. Zzzz zzzzzzzzz …

WHAT? !!! Oh!!! … Sorry … But, REMEMBER!! Players –

What first attracted our interest here in UNIT D-37, Payless Self-Storage -- where we are rebuilding after the conflict with the Wringwraiths last week -- was that the map quite ERRONEOUSLY shows the new city aligned with magnetic north: contrary to its actual survey by Vitus Wackenreuder and it’s ‘as-built’ character, by the settlers, pioneers, and estimable inhabitants of Port Orford – who followed Tichenor’s & Wackenreuder’s original concept of a city w/ a north/south street grid aligned with TRUE NORTH, and probably never laid eyes on Lt. Williamson’s magnetically deviant cartography. For more on Wackenreuder, see, e.g., the “CLAIM TO FAME” issue, Which Peerless San Francisco Surveyor Cut His Teeth on the Survey of Capt. Tichenor’s Port Orford (Oregon), etc. etc. (June 10, 2012); and the solution, which finally ran a week or two ago, in the “POLE SHIFT” issue, What’s the Story Behind Lt. Robert Stockton Williamson’s Deviant Cartography of Port Orford (Oregon) … Or Is It Just … Another Treasure Map? (July 15, 2012). And ….

… IS IT THE G.L.O.-WORM -- ??

Many thousands of you have e-mailed in asking about – many even insisting on – similarities of the layout of Lt. Williamson’s deviant cartography of Port Orford, and the unparalleled cartographic encryptions of the G.L.O.-Worm … asking whether this could possibly be, yet again, the design of the G.L.O.-Worm himself, Charles S. Frailey, whose undercover work, as Chief Clerk at the General Land Office (hence, the G.L.O.) we have been unable to explore for quite some time: in fact, not since the since the dicey “FEELING LUCKY” issue -- T. 25 N. R. 2 W., W.M. ? or T. 25 N. R. 2 W., M. D. M. ? (June 3, 2010) (shown at right) – almost two months ago now!! WOWEE!! How time flies!!!! – And, Players, you will recall that with that brief followup in the “CLAIM TO FAME” S.Y.M.-Zonia for June 10, 2012 – at p. 6 .. we began to get distracted by issues surrounding Port Orford (Oregon) in response to the demands of our new sponsors – when, in fact, the SH&T firm emerged in S.Y.M.-Zonia™ !!! Wowee!!! And before long, the SHTF! And we’ve been dealing with the … upshot ever since…

NEEDLESS TO SAY: Yes indeedy, the similarities are unmistakable – especially the susceptibility of Lt. Williamson’s DEVIANT work, to exposé under the Light of L.-L.U.-V. HOWEVER, Players !!! We are way getting ahead of ourselves !!! Way !! Lt. Williamson’s cartography, must needs be examined on its own terms, to determine if the MECHANISM of encoding matches the delicacy, the subtlety, the nuance and sheer inventive GENIUS of Charles S. Frailey – who – as we saw recently – was able to overmaster even the likes of Edgar Allen Poe, when it came to cryptography. So, in order to answer this question, WE WILL HAVE TO ENGAGE THE SOLUTION TO LAST WEEK’S S.Y.M.-Zonia™ which is given below. Wowee!! Yes!! It’s here! But first … !!!

IN THE NEWS ….

PLAYERS!! OKAY-- ARE YOU TUNED IN? HAVE YOU BEEN? If sso, then you are aware, that this issue is coming to you ON TIME despite the all-out assault on Unit D-37 last week, of the WRINGWRAITHS OF PERMISSION TO PUBLISH who emerged quietly … veeery quietly , in fact noiselessly -- out of the U.C. Berkeley’s Bankcropt Library on Monday last week, on their nine SEGWAYS and then mounted a concerted attack on the S.Y.M.-Zonia ™ offices, over my unauthorized publication in last week’s “X-FACTOR” issue, of unpublished portions of the Squibob MSs. papers, held in their archives … paragraphs which explained precisely how PORT ORFORD (Oregon) came to be disoriented on “The Deviant Cartography of Lt. Robert Stockton Williamson …” -- I also have a couple overdue books I should have returned after finishing my thesis. The Wringwraiths actually made it to Payless Self-Storage in Pacific Heights, by Wednesday, shortly after lunch ..

HOWEVER, I was able to defeat them with the Light of L.-L.U.V. which – THANK HEAVENS!! -- drained their remaining batteries, and stopping them in their tracks – and the baby was safe. My wife – Suzy Cue Goldengate -- sobbed tears of utter relief and caressed the hair of Whatserrname. Then it hit me … OMG!!! What would have happened if

they’d taken the baby in the middle of the Baby-Name Contest?? Which in fact closes this week, and the winner will be announced NEXT WEEK!! YES … ..

IN THE MEANTIME, as I was in hand-to-hand combat with the WRINGWRAITHS, e the clock was literally ticking down to Closing Time – 5:00 p.m. EST – at the Library of Congress, In D.C., where S.Y.M.-Staffer Randy Kajtushka was scrambling to find the missing MAPS that illustrate the Harbor of Refuge on the Pacific. See, the PORT AUTHORITY issue (July 1, 2012). Or, at least, THEY SHOULD!!! They’re in the index, and identified as executed by Lt. A. H. Payson -- an officer of the U.S. Navy … But, little did I know, Kajtushka was having difficulty finding them …

Randy texted in, betraying his exasperation: asking for my immediate guidance as to how to proceed. HOWEVER, I missed his texts – only discovering them in the aftermath: see the last page of Last Week’s issue. And, see, left …. After the crisis, the reality sank in: the Library of Congress copy of the Report also had NO MAPS. The maps are not to be found. !!! They are not in the Hauntington Library copy either… Not available anywhere. Personally, I wonder where they could be : they

appear never to have been published. Very unusual: FOUR MISSING MAPS of PORT ORFORD – where, as we have already seen, the cartography can get a bit

disoriented. Hmmmmm. But the actual engravings MIGHT be in the SECRET Archive at NARA. In which case, that would be a job for Dr. Waters Ph.D.3

IN FACT, the situation is familiar. It brings to mind a certain unpublished Report of Geographical Surveys in Oregon and Washington Territories, by a certain Dr. John Evans – which after 163 years is still …. MISSING. Dr. Evans had been in Southern Oregon under the authority of the budding U.S. Geological Survey, executing a commission from Congress to explore Oregon and Washington -- and it was somewhere in Southern Oregon that he is said to have found the famed PORT ORFORD METEORITE … . which has never been located since. And Dr. Evans’ Report was also …. MISSING. Dr. Evans’ illustrations and all his maps were likewise … MISSING. Players -- I ask you, as I asked myself, Was there a pattern developing here? A pattern not inconsistent with the what we are learning about the cartography of TERRA INCOGNITO ? Maybe … That could bear looking into ..

But for now …. the SOLUTION to:

WHAT’s INDICATED by the HIDDEN ‘X’ THAT MARKS THE SPOT ON LT. ROBERT STOCKTON WILLIAMSON’S DEVIANT CARTOGRAPHY

of PORT ORFORD (Oregon)?? ??

BELOW— one last time -- is the Port Orford OFFSET/ “INSET” map introduced in the POLE SHIFT issue, 2 weeks ago, and exposed under Low-Level Ultra-Violet light in the X-FACTOR issue last week, where it was learned that the compass arrows formed a hidden “X” -- although a very skinny X indeed [for a discussion of this, see p. 3 above – Ed.] . NOW! Players, lets examine Lt. Williamson’s map -- Sketch of the Umpqua and Rogue Rivers, & Intermediate Country from a Reconnaissance by R.S. Williamson Lieut. U.S. Top’l Sur’yors (1851) – one last time: only this time, for

… The SOLUTION

RECALL, that last week, almost on a whim, I re-inserted Lt. Williamson’s critical OFFSET/ “INSET” map back onto the main Reconnaissnce map where, in a very real sense, it really belonged.

NOW thinking back to the Wackenreuder survey map of Port Orford, dated July 15, 1851, and also considered in the same POLE SHIFT issue (July 15, 2012) Players may remember being overcome with a disturbing sense of VERTIGO as they sought desperately to rotate the Wackenreuder survey map, in order to make sense of its unusual orientation, and quirky set of reference frames… Indeed, there was a distinct sense of spinning: spinning around and around: Players reported a feeling that was not unlike that of being caught in a Vortext. They walked away from that issue, still unsteady: their heads reeling …

BUT!! All to a purpose! Yes indeed: for, with the “INSET”/OFFSET map actually inset, all that was left to do was CORRECT the orientation of Port Orford on the inset map, to bring the City into alignment with TRUE NORTH – which is correctly indicated by the X-FACTOR of the inset map . The “X” which marks the spot!1

1 NOTE: that WE HAVE WORD -- lately that is -- through the grapevine, that titular Leader, Ass. Dr. Beckon, who is taking a week off, has determined that the “X” on Cape Orford, is also the very location of the MADDEN MINE !! Although it is not thought to have been lost, nor is it suspected to yet hold invaluable treasure. We have, as we say, only vaporous hints, as in therapeutic mineral steam emanating from the Humbug Mtn Hot Springs & Spa, and drifting down the mountainside, where evidently Ass. Dr. was overheard discussing last week’s S.Y.M.-Zonia – on the X-FACTOR: an issue which is all the rage in S.Y.M.-Zonia – and it made for a CROWDED HOT TUB although no telling here, which FIRM MEMBERS had joined her in the debate … As we don’t lend our pages to the publication of mere gossip. That issue, has also SOLD OUT at the Whale-of-a-Tale Cafe … The whole town is astir!!! This is becoming big news!!

And so…

And so, still dizzy from the Vortext around Port Orford that was created by the Wackenreuder map, Players will immediately get the idea that, as a CORRECTIVE, the Port Orford INSET MAP must be ... of course! … ROTATED -- as below, as if the needles were spinning around, sweeping into “True” over a field range. It is this act of rotating -- rotating the inset map to the left, or counterclockwise 19° 30', that is the “Spot” marked on the map. Yes, Players: the “X” does not so much mark an inert locus as it does dictate a type of dynamic movement: an ACTION -- rotational action. This corrects for the apparent “mistake” and rotates Port Orford into a correct, TRUE NORTH alignment:

NOTE, HOWEVER: when the expedient of rotation of the INSET map is executed -- as the necessary CORRECTIVE to it’s obviously DEVIANT CARTOGRAPHY -- that the effect is also to rotate the surrounding landmass of Cape Orford, counterclockwise: thus DISORIENTING IT !! and … steady there … recreating that certain sense of VERTIGO you all felt in viewing Herr Wackenreuder’s July 15, 1851 map. BUT!! The same lefthand rotation ….. also turns the Compass Arrows showing Magnetic and True North !!!… It’s the X-FACTOR, of course ….so that NOW, the magnetic north arrow is pointing to True North, while the True North arrow is deviating 19°30' to the WEST. SO the correction has introduced a new error into the imagery – a number of them – and also introduced an overall rotational “SWEEP” of almost 40° !!! if you add both deviations together.

BUT WAIT – what’s this all about? Okay: WITHOUT FURTHER DELAY …

PRESENTS ….. (turn the page ….. )

SHIT RIVER (Oregon) YES: Introducing …

SEE IT? It’s there. Yes … PLAYERS!!! THAT river … YES: it’s real. For real, real. Really. As in, it’s no joke, and no figure of speech!! And it’s no mere metaphor!! … Indeed, this is THE river – yes, that one -- about which EVERYONE HAS HEARD, and whose reputation EVERYONE KNOWS (or, I should say thinks they know) but which is almost universally presumed to be insubstantial, and derided by the popular naivete, as merely mythological … !! Like the Valley of Shanga-ri-la, commonly known as Shangri-La., Shit River is thought by most to be a mere mental mirage: an espejismo, to use the French, or “an airy nothing”. YET!! It is the river not even INDIANA JONES®

dared to mention -- for the sheer trepidation that overcomes the heart -- much less to explore .. It is the SEQUEL you thought you would never see… The mysterious Legendary River of Doom; the lost and Uncharted River of Menace – more terrifying than the Styx – to which name it bears a resemblance. No-one, but no-one, dares venture up ….

SHIT RIVER (Oregon)

Or at least … ALMOST no one.. .. .. .. No one, that is, except ….

But Wait!! PLAYERS!! Do you see the utterly clever inventive genius of Williamson’s map of this formerly lost, uncharted river? It’s flawless. Perfect, even. It was there for centuries (almost): hidden from view, in plain sight, awaiting only that moment in TIME, when YOU, Players, would turn the key in the lock, rotating it gently left, counterclockwise, 10° 15° then 17°…. 19°… until suddenly !!! whrrrrr… kLunk!!! --- the tumblers go kLunk in your mind, and the invisible, supposedly “metaphorical” River … SHIT RIVER … appears.

Let’s look ….

THE DOUBLECROSS

The KEY that has to be TURNED in the LOCK, to unlock the map, requires actual physical rotation of a physical INSET map, or else a virtual rotation of a virtual image thereof, as we have done here…. Or else, the same – or an equivalent – operation could be performed by the mental rotation of the inset map against the backdrop of the Reconnaissance map. The “X-FACTOR” is actuated in the same operation, because to correct the layout of Port Orford , requires you to rotate the “X-FACTOR.” -- the operation that “triggers” the map. AHA! This creates a certain tension: because the re-alignment of the City, throws the Compass Arrows – the X-FACTOR – out of true, and leaves them – as it were – quavering in suspense, waiting to line up to a new North. MEANWHILE, against the larger map, the “X-FACTOR” appears to be pointing at …. Another “X” – !! See preceding page. In this case, the last letter of the name of the “Shix” River – SHIX: an odd word with an odd spelling, which is thought to be an old Athapascan Indian name for the river – now known as the Sixes river. It empties into the Pacific Ocean north of Port Orford.

The realignment of the X-FACTOR -- the Compass Arrows -- tugs at the other “X” of SHIX and almost compels its rotation likewise on the map… Especially as the “X” is now directly “pointed out” or immediately indicated by the relocation of the INSET MAP, on the main map. Get it? !! So the “X” of SHIX undergoes a similar “pull”, and is rotated 19°30' counterclockwise – or more. Here’s the result:

“X” Marks the SPOT

The “X” rotated 19°30' The “X” rotated 39°

In this binocular view of the target “”X” on Lt. Williamson’s map, Players, you can see first, at left, the “conservative” rotation of the “X” of Shix, in which lefthand, or counterclockwise, rotation is limited to the angle of correction needed to move Port Orford from its false alignment with magnetic north, to a correct alignment with true north – or, rotation equal to 19°30' of arc. The result is … a darn good reading. There’s some ambiguity, but it’s SHIT RIVER, almost for sure.

Meanwhile the image at the right shows the “X” rotated a full 39° of arc, equivalent to the full “sweep” of angular deviation which appears, when the Port Orford “INSET” map is corrected – that is, when the magnetic north arrow is spun left, the True north arrow also turns left, and is now deviating from its correct position by the same 19°30' – thus, adding the two together, demonstrating a full 39° “sweep” of arc. Here there can be no doubt. SHIT RIVER all the way.

In either case, the true identity of the so-called “Shix” river –or the Sixes river – is disclosed as the loathed and dreaded SHIT RIVER .. and what you thought was merely a METAPHOR

BECOMES VERY REAL. Too real.

Too real for … THE FIRM.

AND, YES, IT’S PROBABLY THE G.L.O.-WORM

INDEED, Players: you can understand now, why I delayed this discussion: for the finely wrought mechanism, the precision tuned device of this, Lt. Robert Stockton Williamson’s TREASURE MAP, as here introduced, is highly suggestive that we are in the presence of no less a crypto-cartographer, than the G.L.O.-Worm. Players – let me be frank: in my opinion it is a near certainty. Frailey -- 33rd° Master Mason, Chief Clerk of the General Land Office, then of the Department of the Interior, who had under his aegis, not only the General Land Office, but the United States Geological Survey, and the United States Coast Survey -- was uniquely positioned to orchestrate the United States’ explorations of the American West, deploy Masonic brethren among the Topographical Corps, give them special secret assignments, and coordinate elements of the resulting cartography … applying the virtuoso skills and legerdemain he had acquired during years of silent study, in the aftermath of that tragic mind-blowing event: when Edgar Allen Poe solved the famous Frailey Cypher, in the twinkling of an eye, and published the solution the next month!!! See, e.g. Ass. Dr. Beckon’s uncharacteristically clipped and cryptic commentary in a letter to Dromgoole, printed in Where is the Lost Legend of the Lost Frenchman’s Lost Ledge? (January 8, 2012) @ p. 6. What else does she know??

AT LEFT – in another S.Y.M.-Zonia ™ first, we print what is perhaps the only extant

likeness of Charles S. Frailey, aka The G.L.O.-Worm …. It’s apparent – as Dromgoole once noted -- that the “G.L.O.-Worm” moniker was used as a nickname among his friends and colleagues at the G.L.O.: the image at left appears in Festschrift for Charles Frailey — Containing a Considerable Compendium of Cryptographical Conundrums by Your Friends at Carto… (1856) MS. held at NARA. Thanks again, JUERGLEIN!!!

It is thought, by careful students of the life of Frailey, that he operated in Washington D.C.

also under a number of aliases – or aliaii – most of which remain unknown.

Okay. But what does it all mean …. ?

WHAT REALLY HAPPENED UP the SHIT RIVER – and … DID YOU BRING YOUR PADDLE?

OKAY … Players: You may remember, that in Last Week’s issue we sought to identify which route – which mountain pass -- Lt. Williamson had taken to reach TERRA INCOGNITO.

It appeared, upon inspection, that there was some ambiguity in this aspect of his cartography as well. For on his 1851 sketch map, Sketch of the Umpqua and Rogue Rivers, & Intermediate Country – again shown at right – the route indicated by the dotted red line …………. ….. …. is up over Bald Mountain, and then upstream along Flores Creek, thence into the interior.

The same dotted red line shows an attempt to move up the Coquille River – that evidently failed. On this map, at least, there are no other routes shown.

NOTE ALSO that there are two or three routes coming and going in and out of Port Orford, as well as two crossings of the Elk Creek (now Elk River), and of the Shix River – a DOUBLECROSSING.

IN FACT, it almost appears that the mouth of the Shix River was Williamson’s base, and not Port Orfrod -- as four routes converge at that point, just north of Cape Blanco.

However, Players, REMEMBER that on the finished published map – next page -- the Pacific Railroad Survey sheet No. 2 “From the Northern Boundary of California to the Columbia River” Explorations and Surveys for a Railroad route from the Mississippi River to the Pacific Ocean (1855) the ONLY route indicated as Lt. Williamson’s passage from the coastal lowlands, into the trackless mountains, was an otherwise completely unknown river – the Sequalehin River – probably the stream known as Fourmile Creek. Labels on the finished map indicate that this was the route that Williamson took in 1851 AND 1852.

NATURALLY, not all the information on a high-definition sketch map, like Lt. Williamson’s Reconnaissance map, made in the field, is going to be transferred to a finished engraved printed map like Sheet No. 2 shown again at left. Obviously, any number of details might be left out – might have left out, necessarily: such as the three or four trails converging on the mouth of the Shix River, which appear on the Sketch map, yet which didn’t make it into the engraving. Likewise, Elk Creek on the Sketch map, doesn’t appear on the final product, nor do the DOUBLECROSSES of the Shix and Elk River

SO, the inconsistencies between the rough and finished maps may not indicate anything of moment. The ambiguities may be the result of inevitable consolidation, and other processes of … editing.

Or, on the other hand, consider Lt. Williamson’s POLE SHIFT: after Williamson’s misalignment of Port Orford on the “INSET”/OFFSET map is decoded, , and the position noted, of the N/S Compass arrows immediately adjacent to Port Orford, we know that this is, indeed, another TREASURE MAP. And so we know that Lt. Williamson trying to indicate … something else. Did Lt. Williamson actually take another route from the Oregon Coast, into the interior of TERRA INCOGNITO?

If so, which way did he go? What did he and his Army troop encounter ?

Remember, Players, what we have learned over the last month or two, at Port Orford – in particular, from the MS. IN A BATTLE issues: in particular, ferocious, rampaging Injuns – on the warpath. The Rogues.

YES: The Indian Wars have started …

Or, put another way .. .. ..

Rifle WHAT HAPPENED UP the SHIT RIVER - and DID YOU BRING YOUR PADDLE?

YOU ARE NOW LEAVING

Omigosh !!

>Phew!< That was close… BABY-NAME ENTRIES !! How could I have?

CONTEST CLOSES JULY 31 !! IN TWO DAYS !! You have 2 days to get your final entries in!!!

We list here only the top vote-getters in the S.Y.M.-Zonia ™ NAME OUR BABY CONTEST, as of Wednesday, July 25, 2012. PLAYERS !! LET’S KEEP IT SERIOUS! No “joke” names or gags, please. This is our daughter’s future we’re determining here. And PLEASE Remember: NO Programmed Trading on baby-names entries, please!! Otherwise, only one vote per subscriber !!! You must be a subscriber to participate. As usual, members of the O.M.I.G.O.d., employees of the Globe Press, and staff of S.Y.M.-Zonia™ are NOT ELIGIBLE to participate.

NAME VOTES

1. LaRuette Al’Harouche-ette --- 3,450,245 2. Stephanie 487 3. Nostox (or “Nostoc”) Amplissimum * 24 4. Asapha Pee 19 5. Sarah Elizabeth “Sally” (Suke) 15 6. “P.” [in memoriam ] 12 7. Pierre-ina 8 8. Audex 7 9. Jurgleina 4 10. Baby Girl 2 11. Whatsername 2 12. Dipity—Do 2 13. Dromella 2 14. Suzy Cue, Jr. 1 15. Randy 0 (vote withdrawn - not playing) 16. Scytla 1 (really stupid game)

GOOD LUCK!

AND FINALLY:

Finally, Players, we are advised that it is now O.K. to begin forwarding the STING TRACER issue of S.Y.M.-Zonia™ !! The F.B.I. has contacted our offices, and advises, that in view of the very sketchy “ping” pattern developed so far, that you should go ahead now, Players, and PLEASE FORWARD that issue… … Yes: It’s okay, all you Junior G-Men out there, to forward -- -- just this once!! The F.B.I. says its O.K.

I know we said NOT TO, but now it’s O.K. They need more “pings” than this.

YOU ARE NOW LEAVING

POPULATION 0