SMITH HUBBARD & TICHENOR

GOLDENGATE’S

!!!

for April 13, 2013

STONE IDOL

S.H.&T. APPROVED

EX LIBRIS: SH&T, LLP

IF E. E. EBERHARD’S EPIC POEM CHAMPOEG IS ACTUALLY HISTORICALLY TRUE & ACCURATE, THEN

WHERE IS the STONE IDOL of the MULTNOMAHS from the HOLY ISLAND of WAPPATO ?

But first ….

From the desk of ….

WELCOME BACK, PLAYERS !!! Suzie Q. and Sarah. N. Dipity say… “Hi !!!”

… from Unit D-47, Payless Self-Storage !!!

[Hon —could you put a Winnie-the-Pooh ™ DVD on the latptop for her? – Ed.] [Don’t let her touch the keys !!!! – Ed.]

YES, PLAYERS! This is UNDOUBTEDLY the PLACE to BE!

I KNOW WE’RE CURLING UP …

with a GREAT BOOK !!!

In a newly restored … READING ROOM !!!!

WOWEEE !!!! [I wish …. – Ed.]

Okay: Well, things are not quite so commodious here, yet this is surely the case for our esteemed Titular Leader, and Full Archivist [YES!! See below … !!! Stephanie’s BACK ON at SH&T as of … well, as of “tomorrow” April 1, 2013, when SH&T, LLP re-opens[/ed!! – Ed.] at 4th & Garrison, Port Orford (Oregon)!! YES PLAYERS: that’s TOMORROW!! on the Langlois Ledger’s isolated timeline… since, as you all know, the Ledger has no Fakebook™ page, no internet presence, and no direct online access from Langlois (Oregon), and so we here in San Francisco rely on snail mail to get the Ledger from the W.O.W. Hall in Langlois, to Port Orford – and then the steamer to San Francsico, I think it is … etc., etc. sooo.. We’ve got all the “latest NEWS!!” from the Langlois Ledger ! EXCLUSIVE!! -- Ed.] Stephanie Beckon who has a NEW READING ROOM to enjoy … well, truth be told, we’re still stuck here in Pacific Heights, and the “reading room” is the inside of one of those three black Hefty® garbage bags slumped against the side wall, and whatever contents I can draw from within it… OKAY: Enough of me! But, PLAYERS!! You too will want to curl up with a GREAT READ, and Stephanie has, de facto, selected one for you !! One of the

real rarities from the restored SH&T, LLP Library, it’s…

Elias Eugene Eberhard’s verse epic CHAMPOEG [ and Other Poems ]

& You’ll won’t want to miss it!! Not to want miss it !! Want to miss it not !! … Won’t want to miss it!!

But: POETRY? You ask? Is that not in direct violation of the Rule of The GEORGETOWN NEWS? Yes… Players, it is !! But this is a SPECIAL REQUEST that I’m performing just this once, and only for Stephanie!

Besides, as I said, the poem is A GREAT READ, and, as you’ll read below, it’s a great old poem [Sic—Ed.] that’s also IN THE NEWS … because Titular Leader Stephanie Beckon herself, is/was delivering an oral recitation of the poem CHAMPOEG as early as “tomorrow”, April 1, 2013 .. at noon, at the Whale-of-a-Tale Cafe: I think…. a rote recitation: rote, she wrote, but yet unwritten, as in, delivered from memory, per os, but … OH, HECK!! Read on !! It will all become clear when you examine the latest number of the Langlois Ledger [Below – Ed.], and Stephanie’s letter of petition, that lead me to This Week’s S.Y.M.-Zonia™ STONE IDOL Issue! OKAY??

So, Let’s get started !!!

But first ….

IN THE NEWS ….

Players!!! There’s MORE of this week’s Ledger!!! But that’s all the news I have the space for !!

And now…

FROM THE MAILBAG …

PLAYERS!!! It’s because of this SPECIAL REQUEST from Stephanie, that we worked up This Week’s Special STONE IDOL Issue of S.Y.M.-Zonia™ -- More on this below! But first, there’s an important update for you …

HAS KAJTUSHKA ALREADY FOUND …

HAS HE CRACKED … UNK’s EASTER EGGS !!! ??

by e-mail to michalegoldengate@berekely.ca.edu

4-03-13

Michael:

Dude, isn’t this a project we can work on in the summer? I mean, the snow just barely melted off these mountains this month, and if it’s not raining up here, the mountains are still cloaked, like in constant fog until very late in the afternoons. Very cold. I think I saw a Sasquatch. With the clouds lying so low, it still seems to get very dark up here – early. The canyons are &#$#++ deep!!!! Didn’t that Indian guy give you a map, for Pete’s sake?? Are you sure he know where this thing is??

I have my Nikon, but it’s in a Zip-Loc™ bag, and I’m reluctant to bring it out: it could get rusty from exposure to the mists. But, as I was headed back through a clear-cut, into camp two nights back, I saw this ridgeline off to my left, out of the corner of my eye, with something on it that looked interesting … I didn’t have time to investigate, it was too late: but I figured it was worth “a shot”, and so I unzipped the bag and took this photo. Whaddaya think?? ?? ?? Not bad, huh?? I tried to find it again yesterday, but no luck whatsoever. It’s definitely a battlement of some fort – but, it’s really, really LOST!! That meets all the criteria.. I really need to get to civilization before the Final Four starts. Can I come in for the next two weeks? E-mail me.

Randy And now …

PLAYERS : NOW .. FOR A .

WHAT COMPELLED CAPT. WM. TICHENOR to SAIL AGAINST ORDERS from the ASTORIA (Oregon)

CUSTOM HOUSE COLLECTOR “GENERAL” JOHN ADAIR, ABDUCTING TWO ARMY MEN and TRIGGERING

“The INCIDENT on the EMILY FARNHAM” ?

Meets …

THREE SHEETS TO THE WIND !!!!

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? Yes: this could be quite a trick … !!!

Players: Let’s remember: The Incident on the Emily Farnham occurred in November, 1850. Capt. Tichenor, in a rush to bring another boatload of Americans NORTH to Portland (Oregon) from San Francisco (California), in order to allow them to file Land Claims before the Dec. 15, 1850 EXPIRATION of the Oregon Land Law, was -- with some urgency -- seen

to have left the Port of Astoria by night, and without the required clearance from the new Custom House Collector “Gen’l” John Adair !!! What’s with that?

Indeed: in open defiance of Adair, Tichenor had eighed anchor and put off into the shuipping channel, in the Emily Farnham and drifted down the channel to Tansy Point, to the mysterious and little-known area, the Clatsop Anchorage there… Players -- FOR MORE!!! See, e.g., the famous and classic old P.Y.M. ™ PUZZLER, What’s @ Clatsop Anchorage? [(Oct. 22, 2011) – Ed.]

There @ Clatsop Anchorage, quite near the channel, and with seemingly nothing to anchor on, Tichenor had anchored the Emily Farnham by night !!

That was no mean trick, probably, even for one who, like Capt, Tichenor, knew the Columbia river channel quite well, and who, like Capt, Tichenor – following appointment by Oregon Gov. Gaines – had served as the FIRST bar pilot, even before the arrival of the mysterious figure, Capt. Charles White !!! Good Golly, Miss Molly!!! Tichenor was the first pilot? River & Bar?

WELL: the weather was boisterous – even inclement, and yet the Emily Farnham hung fast: and while the Emily Farnham lay at Clatsop Anchorage, General Adair came down with many of his men in a boat, hailed the Emily Farnham, and then ordered her to be boarded by these Army regulars assigned to him at the Port of Astoria (Oregon) !!! The rest is – or course – history, just not that well-known. But THAT doesn’t prevent it from having happened!!

Learn or be lewd, as I have often said!! [That’s an Editorial aside – Ed.] [Iambic pentameters; end- rhymes, !! – Ed.] [Said/Ed., poetry, etc. – Ed.]

RECALL: These events on the Emily Farnham took place in late November, 1850, and the Oregon Land Law was set to expire of its own terms, on December 15 that same winter: thus, just a few short weeks remained for Tichenor to fulfill his contract with Lispcomb, and bring a second boatload of passengers in to Portland, to file their Land Claims…

It was nearly winter. The weather was not great. Time was of the essence …for Tichenor to beat down the Pacific coast again, to San Francisco, with his two Army captives for Astoria, Lt. Woods and Pvt. Butler!!! Could he escape the waiting clutches of San Francisco Custom House Collector, T. Butler King?, Would he even be permitted to load up another 100 passengers, get clearance from San Francisco Customs, and return to Astoria ? Astoria: where “General” Adair would be waiting for him? And could he then somehow reach Portland?

PLAYERS: What were Tichenor’s navigational aids for this voyage?? LET’s LOOK:

As things stood, Lt. William P. MacArthur, aboard the U.S. Surveying Schooner Ewing with a skeleton crew that had resisted the siren-song of the Gold Rush, had – at this time – completed, so to speak, the actual Western Coast survey work of California and the Oregon Territory, that had been commissioned to him by A.D. Bache, Superintendent of the U.S. Coast Survey. Lt. MacArthur had conducted much of the work at the Mouth of the Columbia River in the mid-summer of 1850, and notes made upon the sketch maps for the THREE SHEETS TO THE WIND series, show the Ewing was beating down the Oregon coast during August, and – as noted Last Week -- not trying to land anywhere on that rockbound Oregon coast, and not taking time enough even to triangulate the mouths of the rivers along it -- !! That could come later, and Lt. MacArthur said as much in his published report.

Besides… as we should be aware by now, there were OTHER HAZARDS presented by any attempt to land anywhere on the Oregon Coast, namely: INDIANS!! Right: these natives were NOT to be underestimated…

Hence … as noted Last Week, the latitude of these rivers as charted, is often erroneous – off by a few minutes in some circumstances – and even the names of the rivers are jumbled around, so that the Yaquinna is the Alsea, and the Blinky is the Winkey, and the Nestugga is the Wugga-Wugga, and so forth … We covered this in a number of recent issues of S.Y.M.-Zonia™

There was, however, one – and only one -- harbor along the Oregon coast, and Lt. MacArthur and his party took shelter there!! And it should now be plain, that they so admired this unique harbor, that they named it after their own vessel – the U.S.S. Ewing!! For his ship, is every sailor’s second … or maybe first!!! love -- and so the Port Orford harbor appeared on their published charts as Ewing Harbor … because it had indeed been the only harbor in which they could anchor. There was no American settlement there – not even a native American one… The City of Port Orford would be founded during the next summer – in 1851!!

So --except to anchor for a few hours, the survey party didn’t stop.

The U.S.S. Ewing, Lt. MacArthur commanding, continued the survey, and – to read the handwritten notes on these amazing sketch charts – after reaching Pelican Bay (California) the Ewing actually did spend a few days in exploring and charting the California coastline, along from Pelican Bay (California) to the mouth of the Klamath river (California).

They finally reached the up-and-coming burg of Trinidad City (California) the FIRST and NORTHERNMOST American outpost anywhere along this formidable coastline, and from there ….

MacArthur and his team reached San Francisco by September, 1850, and he and his party submitted their results, and were reassigned to conduct the hydrographical surveys in the Bay Area and joined the U.S.C.S. party under the command of I.S. Williams, Ass’t to the U.S.C.S., and Lt. S.F. Blunt. In particular, he charted the Mare Island Straits, and Mare Island itself, where the U.S. Navy Base would soon be located.

PLAYERS!!! That’s a quick review of the status of navigational aids, aka charts, of the Pacific coast of the United States, ca. late 1850!!

But the results of NONE of these surveys had been published at the time of the Incident on the Emily Farnham !! And they would not be until February, 1851. So … except for the weird chart of Comm. Wilkes [Some other time, perhaps! –Ed.], Capt. Tichenor was on his own ….

In November of 1850, Capt. Tichenor was relying exclusively on his own moxy: his own experience and native sailor’s intelligence to navigate down this coast to San Francisco. Along the way, as you may recall, he dropped off his hostages, Lt. Woods and Pvt. Butler, at the first White settlement, where they would be safe – Humboldt bay (California).

From there, he continued on, probably making for the Farallone Islands, from which he could gain his bearings for entry into the Golden Gate.

At last!! PLAYERS!!! Speaking of entering … the Goldengate …

YOU ARE NOW ENTERING

IF E.E. EBERHARD’S EPIC POEM CHAMPOEG IS ACTUALLY HISTORICALLY TRUE & ACCURATE THEN WHERE IS the STONE IDOL of the MULTNOMAHS

from the HOLY ISLAND of WAPPATO ?

PLAYERS!!! Stephanie called it right, that’s for sure., when she recognized that this topic is directly contrary to the Rule of GEORGETOWN NEWS !! W.H. Auden perhaps said it best, when he said, “Poetry makes nothing happen.” – Nothing, that is, except to kill – as in to eliminate from business – otherwise enterprising periodicals like ….

!

And who even knows about it now? And all because of POETRY! [See that Pope quote… -- Ed.]

Nevertheless, because this is an important issue – the STONE IDOL issue…. and directed at Titular Leader’s emergency issues about which she has wrote, in writing -- namely the imminent rote and oral recitation about which she wrote –

THEREFORE, Players!!! and therefore, only ---

I have this to say about that:

Stephanie:

I hope this reaches you in time for your recitation!!! But I fear my assistance may arrive… too late !!!!

The matter at issue, which you have raised in your letter [Above, p. 5 – Ed.] has to do with the seemingly romantic and “airy-fairy” poetical effusions of E.E. Eberhard in his great epic poem, The CHAMPOEG -- discussed at some length in the most recent issue of the Langlois Ledger! And, which so-called effusions have caused the poem to be be targeted in its veracity, by the socialite literati of the 20th and early 21st C.’s.

In particular, as you state in your letter : that the Indians of the Willamette valley had, as one of their chief Gods, or idols, a peculiar stone pillar, carved -- crudely carved -- into the form of a [Naked – Ed.] man, and positioned, somewhere within a sacred grove of oak trees, on the Holy Island at the confluence of the Willamette and Columbia rivers – which is namely, WAPPATO ISLAND, now widely known by its White emigrant name, as Sauvie’s Island – which we covered in some detail in the WAPPATO WAR issue, as you noted. .

Wappato Island is shown in green on the map to the left…

For further background, please refer to the WAPPATO WAR issue!!! [(Sept. 16, 2012) – Ed.]

Stephanie –

Thanks for sending the book along. I think, because you sent it “PARCEL POST,” it only arrived This Week !!! and so this response may come a little late for your recital !!

Owe!!! Gosh… Good luck!! I mean, that is… retrospectively …

However, I have found the passages you mentioned, in Book III. Looks like you highlighted them for me!! I am familiar with Eberhard’s treatment of the regional Native American potlatch attended by twenty nations – twenty tribes!! -- that lasted for a whole week, and was held right there: on Sauvie’s Island !!! And of his highly

specific description of the Indian games and races that were held – the swimming competition, the canoe races, the archery contests, wrestling, tomahawk throwing – especially the two-way race around the Island itself!! See next page!

Evidently the deity identified as the STONE IDOL is called Eidolon, by name; or Klaboterman, by the Dutch.

[Now, just what are the Dutch doing there, I wonder?? -- Ed.]

Now, also in looking through Book III of Eberhard’s epic poem CHAMPOEG, I have to remark at the really strong poetics displayed here – especially in Eberhard’s originality and variation, within the iambic pentameter meter – all of them in end-rhyming heroic couplets!!! Are you kidding me? Stephanie -- this is no mean trick, let me tell you!!

I mean, when even the greatest of the great poets in English were literally forced to abandon end-rhymed iambic pentameters, just to avoid the almost inevitable devolution of their verses, into a sort of chiming “nursery rhyme” effect… what you call nowadays, the “Hallmark® Greeting Card” effect… well, that is quite something!

Just consider the opening of this stanza, where the speed of the name of “Callapooia” is juxtaposed to the stateliness of the next three words “crystal waters glide”, and then, in the following line, the weighty name of Renroh, qualified by the mouthful of rapid-fire descriptive “blower of the horn”… in consequence, making it almost impossible for

even the most calloused reader, to degrade the

poem, and read it as Hallmark® doggerel – or empty-headed versification. Of course, like all great poetry, Eberhard’s CHAMPOEG must be read out loud ….

And so, I can see why you chose him for a recital at the Whale-of-a-Tale …

YES! The work of reading immortal poetry should not be left merely to the eye. Rather one has to carefully “walk the line,” to borrow from Johnny Cash!! Indeed, every line has to be carefully “walked,” with the tongue fully engaged – even if only in a whisper ..

They don’t call them “feet’ for nothing!!!

Only so, could one hope to decipher what Eberhard is saying here, with all these repittions of “ this six” and “that seven” – where one canoe-racer is paddling down the slackwater of the Multnomah channel, on the western and shorter side of Sauvie’s island, fully “six leagues” — as meanwhile the other racer must paddle an extra league -- seven leagues -- but on the Island’s eastern shore, with the Columbia River current carrying him ! This “seven leagues” leg is the favored route – but which one will reach Warriorr Rock first?

Enumclaw cheats, to get the shorter straw, and have the benefit of the current behind him!!! But the god Eidolon – the STONE IDOL -- favors Kalama, and so, he makes the Willamette River to flood mightly down the Multnomah channel, giving Kalama the necessary edge to gain in speed over the rogueish Enumclaw, and prevail in the race, to win the hand of the princess Wallula. WOWEE!! This is NO poetic amateur hour ! Eberhard has the mastery to make his verse compel comparisons to Virgil’s account of the Trojan funeral games , in the Aeneid. It’s nothing short of brilliant. Stephanie – I have to say-- WHAT A GREAT CHOICE! I only wish I could be at the Whale-of-a-Tale!!!

Now let’s take a look at some of the documentation behind your STONE IDOL hypothesis: WAS IT REAL??

Well….. Maybe!! I found these:

Indeed, I found some double-spaced & carefully typewritten notes left over from one of the previous P.Y.M. ™ PUZZLER tenures -- Dromgoole? Well, … perhaps, but for my money, these are bound to be Elmendorf’s notes.

I don’t think that Dromgoole ever used a typewriter per se, you know… But, then, I forget: you knew Dromgoole. Really, really well … I mean. Mmmm. Did you ever see him with one back when you two were … uh…. collaborating at Louisiana Callapooia College, in Alsea (Oregon) ?? You can see by the strike-outs and the corrections written in with pencil, that these pages date from the ‘60’s or maybe the ‘70’s -- at the latest.

The notes tell of some early 19th century encounter of the early Oregon pioneers, with the Native Americans of Sauvie’s Island!

You’ll see that the first page concludes with a reference to a book by Sir George Simpson, in which Simpson ventures onto Sauvie’s Island and in fact finds just such a STONE IDOL as is described by E. E. Eberhard and forever immortalized in the lines of your great poem, The CHAMPOEG !!

The writer then goes on to quote from an article in the Oregonian supposedly for July 18, 1889 – but I have to say, if such an article was ever printed, I sure haven’t found it.

It could be that the date is wrong, or maybe that another newspaper was meant. It’s curious!! But

the Simpson reference checks out, and you can find the book he mentions, on Gargle – Sir George Simpson, Narrative of a Voyage Around the World Start at Chapter IV, From Vancouver to Sitka, and read pp. 106-107 for this text…

SO – Stephanie: that’s what I have !!

I hope that helps you with the recital !!! The POETRY recital!!!! Please don’t misconstrue me, or take the established editorial policy at S.Y.M.-Zonia ™, as in any way representative of my own personal views. It’s the Rule of GEORGETOWN NEWS – and the wisdom of Auden: “Poetry makes nothing happen.” Personmally, you know… I can live with poetry!! Fact is: Eberhard is great – the best iambic pentameters since Milton: a truly immortal voice!! I just can’t run it … I did this only upon your SPECIAL REQUEST in view of the Issue of the STONE IDOL. As for the actuality of any “Stone Idol of Eidolon” on Sauvie’s Island, I’d say the odds are … even-steven: about 50-50….

NOW, I have to say, I detected a note of … wanderlust, maybe even thrill-seeking, in your letter; as if you might be less than willing to relent to your circumstances, and accept once again a position as a hireling – a mere archivist – back again at SH&T, LLP !!! While I know you are first a field worker … I mean, researcher … your best work has been in lichens, not strict archaeology !! UNK, too .. well, he’s no cigar-store INDIAN, but with a Ph.D., well… let’s just say, I think he may not get out that much !!!!! Wait – don’t get me wrong!!! Please !! I only mean to say – please, both of you: just leave the field archaeology to Randy, please !!! He’s an orphan. You shouldn’t be getting any wild ideas, or go setting off on any adventures in search of LOST ARTEFACTS … you know? This is a serious intellectual e-Puzzling operation, and not some Steven Spielberg movie, O.K.? None of this stuff:

Let’s keep it strictly scientific, please!!!!

NOW…. Now, that you’re back in Port Orford, and Unk too, I think it’s time to concentrate on matters more local. Like Port Orford. Once you’re finished reciting poetry that is …

Because, I understand that Vitus Wackenreuder was not the ONLY surveyor who joined Capt. Tichenor on board the Sea Gull, for the return voyage to the now deserted Battle Rock, in June – now early July, 1851!!!! NO – there was indeed another surveyor whom Tichenor recruited to that voyage !!! RIGHT!!!! But who? And why??? Who else could Capt. Tichenor find, to assist the peerless Wackenreuder? Please be thinking along these lines:

WHO WAS the SECOND SURVEYOR on the STEAMER SEA GULL, WHO VENTURED to VOYAGE with VITUS WACKENREUDER ..

the BETTER to PLAT PORT ORFORD (Oregon)?

Oh yes. There was that other fellow too. Kind of squinty-eyed….. Said he knew the back-country in Southwestern Oregon “like the back of my hand.” You know … UNK knows …I know he does. What was his name? O.P.A. guy. Secessionist. Came from Tennessee. Wore a straw hat. Sweated a lot. Oh yeah….

T’VAULT. He was on that steamer Sea Gull too … into Port Orford. Not necessarily a good thing …

YOU ARE NOW LEAVING

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