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Chapter FIVE:Employing Interdependence

Quiz,

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Homework

Note: No late assignments will be accepted.

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Quiz Time

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Employing Interdependence

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Four Ways of Relating to Others

• Dependence– “I can’t achieve my goals by myself.”

• Codependence– “I have to help other people get their goals before I can pursue

my own goals.”• Independence– “By working hard, I can get some of what I want all by myself.”

• Interdependence– “I know I can get some of what I want by working along, but I’ll

accomplish more and have more fun if I give and receive help.”

Describe what you see?

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Describe what you see?

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Describe what you see?

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Creating a Support Network

• Seek help from your instructors

• Get help from college resources– Academic– Financial– Personal– Health– Career– Social

• Create a TEAM!10

How to listen actively

Step 1: Listen to understand• To fully understand

Step 2: Clear your mind and remain silent• Don’t be distracted by your Inner Critic & Defender

Step 3: Ask the person to expand or clarify• Get additional information

Step 4: Reflect the other person’s thoughts and feelings

• Restate and verify

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Ineffective Communication

Placate Blame Level

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Ineffective Communication

Placating• “It’s okay if you don’t help with our project

in sociology. I’ll just do the project myself.”• “Please don’t be upset with me. I’ll drive

your friends to the airport and study for my math test later.”

• “I’m sorry. I should have cleaned up the mess from the party last night. I’ll do it right now.”

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Ineffective Communication

Blaming• “You never do anything to help our study

team. You’re just lazy!”• “This room is a mess! When do you plan to

start doing your share of the work around here?”

• “My sociology instructor gives unfair tests! He thinks he can ask questions about anything that we were supposed to read for homework.”

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Effective Communication

Leveling• “I know you’re got a lot of work to do

tonight. Could we spend just ten minutes cleaning up this mess together?

• “Before I can help you with your paper, I need to finish studying for a test. How about if you help me review tonight and I’ll work with you on your paper tomorrow afternoon?”

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Applying the Concept

“I was really upset when you and your friends came in at three o’clock last night, laughing and yelling. I have to leave for work at 6 a.m. and I need my sleep. Would you agree to never do that again?”

“Don’t worry about waking me up last night. I know you enjoy partying with your friends. I’ll just go to work sleepy. If I get fired, I can probably find another job.”

Leveling Placating

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Applying the Concept

“You are such a jerk! You never show respect for anyone. Why in the world would you be yelling and slamming stuff around at three o'clock in the morning?! Man, you make me sick!”

“Professor Hartley, I had a couple of questions about my failing grade on the test, and I'd like to make an appointment to discuss those with you. Would tomorrow morning during your office hours be a good time? Say 9:30?”

Placating Leveling

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Preparation Time

• This is your time to prepare your presentation

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Homework

• Journal 17 – page 150• Journal 19 – page 161• Read Wise Choices in College– Rehearsing and Memorizing Study Materials – page

165

Journals for 5th edition only:• 16, 18

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Study Guide

• Dependence, Codependence, Independence and Interdependence

• OPB• Active listening• Placate, Blame and Level