Dealing With Difficult Relationships

Lesson 6-9Bell Ringer

Motivate/ Explain• All relationships go through ups and

downs.– People who feel love and affection can also

experience irritation or dislike.• While most relationships have both

healthy and unhealthy qualities, in a good relationship people accept these things or are open to doing work to change them.

• If a relationship is too unhealthy to improve, or becomes dangerous, it may be time to end it or get help.

Summarize• Sometimes you may not get along with

family members or friends.• There may be disagreements or hurt

feelings or people might have different ideas.

• Effective communication and positive emotional health help people deal with difficulties in healthy ways.– Show respect for both yourself and the other

person.

Activity- Family Situations• Groups of 3-4, make a chart • Read the assigned situation, then

make a list of ideas the teen could use to handle the situation and build the relationship.– Incorporate effective communication

skills and strategies that support emotional health.

See TE page 145

Summarize• Remember that communication,

trust, respect and taking personal responsibility are part of having healthy relationships.

• You can’t really end relationships with your family members but you can with friends or people you are dating.

Warning Signs of Trouble• No longer sharing

thoughts and feelings• Not listening or paying

attention• Constant criticism• Increases in

misunderstandings• Unresolved conflict• No longer wanting to

spend time together

• Can be saved if BOTH partners are committed to working on communication and are willing to change.

• Focus on shifting attitudes and behaviors to make relationship better.

Warning Signs of Abuse• Always needing to “win” an argument• Not respecting other’s views• Feeling threatened by partner’s success• Constant put downs• Discouraging other friendships and trying to keep

them away from others• Threatening violence towards partner or one’s self• Hitting, pushing, throwing things• Becoming verbally or physically abusive after using

drugs or alcohol• Forcing or pressuring into sexual activity

Summarize• If unhealthy qualities threaten a person’s

physical safety, or emotional health the best option is to end the relationship.

• Abuse can involve actual harm or threat of harm

• People that can help include:– Parent or guardian– School counselor, nurse or teacher– Police– Clergy/ pastor

Ending a Relationship• If you decide you want to end a relationship, here are some guidelines:• Make the decision.

– Be sure it is what you really want.• Be prepared to feel uncomfortable.

– You may feel lonely and unhappy even if it was your choice.• Do it in person.

– Face to face lets you be sure the other person understands your intentions.• Choose a place.

– Tell them in a place you can leave if you need to.• Explain your reasons.

– Clearly state why you are ending it.• Use “I” messages.

– Avoid blaming the other person.• Mean it.

– Match your tone and body language.• Make the end final.

– Dont make future plans or promise.

Activity• Do you agree that it’s best to end a

relationship in person? Why?

• With a partner, WB page 29• Then, create a role play that shows

how Terry can end the relationship in a healthy way.– Use the guidelines you just learned.

Practice• One partner will read Terry’s lines

and the other will read Jess.• Then, switch so you each get a

chance to practice ending a relationship.

Explain• It is difficult for both people when a

relationship is over.• Especially hard if you weren’t the one that

wanted it to end.• Feelings that may come up:– Sadness, anger, guilt, regret, jealousy,

confusion• All of these feelings are normal but you

must have healthy ways to express them.

Coping When It Ends• Practice thought

stopping.– Tell yourself to think

about something else.• Think realistically.

– See the relationship as it was.

• Build your self-esteem.– Focus on successes.

• Develop other relationships.– Reconnect with friends.

• Look ahead.– Learn from the relationship

that ended.• Spend time with

people you trust.– Share feelings or just hand

out.• Take good care of

yourself.– Sleep, eat healthy, get

physical activity.• Cry if you need to.

– In private or with a friend you trust.

Close• What is the most important thing you

learned today about ending relationships?

• Assessment:–WB page 31-33