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Session #7: Dealing with
Difficult People
Richard Brynteson, Ph.D.
Saturday, July 13, 2019
10:50 – 11:50 a.m.
Lake Minnewaska
Richard Brynteson, Ph.D.
Dr. Richard Brynteson is a professor, executive coach, innovation consultant, author, and public
speaker. He teaches in the MBA program at Concordia University, where he has been a
professor of 26 years. He has published six books, on business subjects like innovation and
behavioral economics. He has worked with companies on innovation projects in Africa, Asia and
the United States. He has only had to bribe his way out of jail once.
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Handling Difficult Workplace Behaviors
• Avoid it.
• Neutralize your reaction (trigger awareness)
• Change their
behavior
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Conflict Styles
Avoid
Compete
Collaborate
Compromise
accomodate
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Goals of the various modes
Competing: "win"
Avoiding: “delay”
Compromising: "find a middle ground"
Collaborating: "find a win-win solution"
Accommodating: "yield"
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Competing – Assertive &
Uncooperative
• Pursue own concerns (at expense of other)
• Standing up for your own rights
• Defending position feel strongly about
• Simply trying to win
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Avoiding – Unassertive &
Uncooperative
• Do not pursue own concerns – or concerns
of other person
• Do not address the conflict
– Sidestep the issue
– Postpone until a better time
• Withdraw; threatening situation
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Collaborating -- Assertive &
Cooperative
• Work with other person (department)
to find a solution
• Digs into issue; underlying concerns
• Determine alternatives to satisfy
concerns of both
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Accommodating – Unassertive and
Cooperative
• Neglect his/her own concerns – satisfy other person(s)
• Self-sacrifice; generosity; charity
• Following an order (you’d rather not)
• Yielding to another’s view
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Compromising – Intermediate Assertiveness
& Cooperativeness
• Objective is to find expedient solution – partially satisfies both parties
• Middle ground
Types of difficult People
• The negative critic
• The angry bully
• The gossip
• The control freak
• The guilt tripper
• The moody type
• The know it all
• The shy person
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Bullies
• Low self-esteem!!! and self-confidence
• They fear being revealed.
• Their fear of exposure borders on paranoia.
• Seething with resentment, bitterness and
anger
• Driven by jealously and envy
• Denial, blame and feigning victimhood
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How to confront: one way
1. Face up to the person directly and by yourself
2. Write down exact problem and goal.
3. Write down a list of points.
4. Write down their objections, reactions, or
disagreements.
5. Organize your notes and supporting documents.
6. Arrange the meeting where you will not be
disturbed.
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