“Show, Don’t Tell”

“Show, Don’t Tell”This is an old saying that means give the readers actions, thoughts, senses, and feelings rather than simple descriptions.

NO:

Mr. Smith was a fat, grouchy old

man.

YES:

Mr. Smith heaved his heavy frame out of the

armchair, and while trying to reach for his

cane, grumbled, “Suzan! Get yourself

over here now!”

“Show, Don’t Tell”How do you do this?Actions speak louder than words: show your characters doing something, and let your reader decide what kind of person the character is.

NO:

My father was an honest man.

YES:When the cashier handed my mom a hundred

dollar bill instead of a ten, she smiled, placed the change in her wallet and walked over to tell dad and I how lucky she had just been. Dad let out a

painful sigh, walked back to the cashier, and removing a hundred dollar bill from his own wallet,

said, “you gave my wife too much change.”

Try It:Describe an Action that shows that this character, Pip, is foolish:

Pip

“Foolish” means that you are lacking is good judgement (you

make dumb choices!)

Examples of other personality traits:

joyful - greedy - organized - compassionate sociable - inconsiderate - mean - brave

loving - controlling - ambitious - shy - funny clever - creative - wild - serious - loyal

“Show, Don’t Tell”How do you do this?

Dialogue allows the reader to experience a scene as if they were there. Dialogue can teach your reader a great deal about character, emotion and mood. Instead of telling the reader your mom was angry, they can hear it for themselves:

“Justin Michael,” mom bellowed, “Get in here this instant!”

Try It:Write Dialogue that shows that this character is nervous about something:

Pip

I am so nervous!

“Show, Don’t Tell”How do you do this?Sensory Language. In order for readers to fully experience what you’re writing about, they need to be able to see, hear, taste, smell and touch the world around them. Try to use language that incorporates several senses, not just sight.

“Ugh, I hate when the sour taste of sweat drips into my mouth during practice.”

Try It:Write Sensory Language that shows this character meeting a human for the first time:

See What does the human look like? What does the setting look like?

Hear What does Pip hear? What does the human’s voice sound like?

Smell What does the human smell like? What other smells are in the room?

Taste Should Pip be tasting the human?! Does the human taste anything?

Touch When the human shakes Pip’s hand for the first time, what does it feel like?

“Show, Don’t Tell”How do you do this?

Use a metaphor/simile. These tools create an interesting or unexpected image for the reader. If your protagonist is stealthy, you could use a simile about a falling leaf: “She landed under the window like a leaf that had fallen from a tree.”

“Our new puppy restlessly wandered around the house, his nails clicking over the wood floor like tap-dancing beetles.”

Try It:Write a Simile that shows what it is like when Pip’s battery is running low.

When my battery is running low, it is like

______________________.

Complete the sentence by comparing Pip’s experience to something else:

“Show, Don’t Tell”How do you do this?Be specific. Add more details to your story. This will fill in the gaps in the reader’s understanding of events. Think of what questions your reader will ask about your writing.

NO:

Aiden went to see a musical.

YES:

Because a friend told him that “seeing a musical is the thing to do in London,” Aiden found

himself standing inside the front door of the Foxwoods

Theater…

Try It:Add Specific Details to this sentence about Pip’s first visit to Earth.

When Pip arrived on Earth, he stepped out of his spaceship and

walked out into a field.

Hmm. This is not very specific. What kind of space ship was it? Where did the ship come from? What was Pip

thinking at this moment? What did the field look like?

Warning!“Show, don’t tell” is NOT about adding as many adjectives as possible to your sentences.

NO:Emily slowly sat on the scratched, worn-leather couch that was situated in the left corner of her tiny, sparsely-decorated

living room.

NO:The quick brown fox

jumps over the lazy dog.

Warning!Rather than saying “show, don’t tell,” we should say this:

“Show as much as you can, tell as little as you can.”

Why? Because it’s impossible to “show” all the time. Sometimes, you will need to directly tell the reader what’s on your mind.

Open your class writing journal. Date it August 26, #2 Title: “‘Show, Don’t Tell’ Challenge”

Activity:

I will give you a character…and you must SHOW readers what your character’s personality is like using: description of

the character’s actions, dialogue, sensory language, metaphor/simile,

or specific details.

Show, Don’t Tell:Show readers

the personality

of this character