Coaching and Mentoring Guide

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Coaching and Mentoring Manual

2009, Workplace Performance Technologies (Pty) Ltd


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INTRODUCTION: 7Why is Coaching & Mentoring So Important? 7WHAT IS COACHING AND WHAT IS MENTORING? 7The meaning of Coaching: 7What does Mentoring mean? 9Informal Mentoring 10Formal v informal mentoring relationships 11DO WE NEED COACHING/MENTORING? 11The Benefits of Coaching for Organisations 11THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN COACHING AND MENTORING 13

BUSINESS COACHING & MENTORING 13Executive Coaching & Mentoring 14Performance Coaching and mentoring 15Skills coaching & mentoring 15Personal coaching & mentoring 16HOW DOES COACHING AND MENTORING COMPARE WITH OTHER SERVICES? 17IS COACHING JUST THERAPY BY ANOTHER NAME? 19The traditional therapies, psychology and counselling and their relationship to coaching 20MENTORING VERSUS OTHER FORMS OF DEVELOPMENT 20Two schools of mentoring 21


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EXPECTATIONS AND CHARACTERISTICS OF A BUSINESS COACH 22EXPECTATIONS AND CHARACTERISTICS OF A MENTOR 24STYLES OF COACHING AND MENTORING 26Mentoring Styles: 26

Letting Go Style 26Active Listening Style 26Advisory Style 26Cooperative Style 27

Recognizable Coaching Styles 27CONTEXT FOR EFFECTIVE BUSINESS COACH OR FORMAL MENTOR 30Communication: 30INTER PERSONAL COMMUNICATION 30Transactional Analysis: 30Ego States 31Transaction between ego states 31

Complimentary transaction: 31Crossed Transaction: 31Ulterior Transaction: 32

Strokes and Games 32ISSUES INFLUENCING INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION 33Communication Barriers: 33Personality conflict: 33Gender Differences 34Communication Barriers between men & women: 34


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Cultural Differences 34Cross Cultural Communication 34Politically Correct Communication: 34

Emotional Intelligence: 35TYPES OF COMMUNICATION 35Face to Face Communication 36Facial Expressions: 36Gestures: 37Posture: 37Personal space: 37BUSINESS COMMUNICATION 38ESTABLISHING THE REALITY 39

FEEDBACK: 40COACHING FOR RESULTS 43PERFORMANCE-BASED FEEDBACK 46PROVIDING POSITIVE FEEDBACK 47FEEDBACK ON PROBLEM PERFORMANCE 49GIVING CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK 52GROW MODEL FOR COACHING 53Goals 53Reality 53


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Options 53Wrap Up 54

POSSIBLE BARRIERS IN COACHING AND MENTORING: 54SIGNS OF SUCCESS 54


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Introduction:

Why is Coaching & Mentoring So Important?

The rate of internally and externally driven change for organisations is likely to

continue to increase at an exponential rate. Organisations will continue to

move in the direction of not offering a 'job for life' but still wanting to attract

and retain high quality staff and managers who can perform in changing

circumstances. Mentees will need to equip themselves with the necessary

skills, knowledge and experience to manage change effectively whilst in a job,and with the vision and insight to be able to manage their careers in a more

proactive way.

Coaching and mentoring helps both organisations and mentees to address

organisational change initiatives by paying full attention to the part people play

in this process. Specifically, coaching and mentoring can help to achieve the

following necessary elements of an organisational change process:

Reconciling individuals' goals and attitudes with organisational goals and

culture

Providing a challenging but supportive environment for exploring options

The opportunity for individuals to achieve real learning at all levels.

What Is Coaching And What Is Mentoring?

The meaning of Coaching:


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Coaching creates the capacity for

continuous improvement, development

and success, through enabling and

supporting people and organisations to

make the best use of their knowledge,

insight, vision, creativity, sensibility,

determination, external resources and

vast ability to learn and develop.

Coaching recognises the vast potential of

human capability, understands what

restrains this and how to unleash it and

significantly reduces the internal and

externalinterference, which exists between potential and their performance.

Research and history shows us that individuals and organisations rarely

achieve lasting improvement when people are merely told about concepts and

practices or made to change.

However lasting and powerful change is achieved when people:

recognise the need to improve and believe that improvement and

achievement are entirely possible

develop clear and compelling goals

identify strengths and areas for improvement in a positive, non-

threatening way, recognising that this will lead to improvement, rather

than focussing on criticism, failure, errors orproblems

become aware of the current situation from an outside-in perspective

(like moving from inside traffic gridlock to seeing it from above)

think in an innovative way about solutions

use positive role models of best practice

plan actions in a clear and concise manner

focus with determination on implementing and maintaining the identified

change

recognise and reward success in achieving the goals

Coaches achieve the above by applying leading-edge continuous improvement

and development tools and techniques on a one-to-one (in person or via the


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telephone) or group basis.

Coaching is centred on goals. It focuses the individual or organisation on

moving forward and achievement, rather than dwelling upon past behaviour

and failures (it is not counselling).

Coaching is not a casual discussion; it is hard work! Through Coaching the

organisation or individual completes tangible actions small steps which add

up to the overall goal. This approach makes Coaching very well suited to the

challenges of the modern corporate environment.

At its best, Coaching is non-directive: it does not teach, advise, and seek to

control people or impose solutions. Rather, it enables people to use their

internal and external resources to pursue their goals effectively. This technique

is at the heart of successful Coaching and differentiates it from consultancy,

training, traditional teaching and traditional management (and most sports

coaching!).

Research and practice have shown that this approach achieves sustainable

positive change, enabling organisations and individuals to achieve and maintain

goals that they had previously thought were not possible.

The success of these techniques has led to Coaching being used in a

considerable number of areas both in and outside of the corporate

environment, including personal development, change management,

performance management, communications, team development, and career

development, personal wealth, stress, relationships and, most recently,

lifestyle and work/life balance changes.

Coaching is used to overcome many traditional individual and organisational

barriers to sustainable improvement and change.

What does Mentoring mean?

"Mentoring is to support and encourage people to manage their own

learning in order that they may maximise their potential, develop their


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skills, improve their performance and become the person they want to

be."Eric Parsloe, The Oxford School of Coaching & Mentoring

The term originates from Greek mythology, in which it is reported that

Odysseus, when setting out for Troy, entrusted his house and the education of

his son Telemachus - to his friend Mentor.

Tell him all you know Odysseus said, and thus created a valuable personal

development tool ..and unwittinglyset the limitation that Coaching

overcomes!

Mentoring is a powerful personal development and empowerment tool. It is an

effective way of helping people to progress in their careers and is becoming

increasing popular as its potential is realised. It is a partnership between two

people (mentor and mentee) normally working in a similar field or sharing

similar experiences. It is a helpful relationship based upon mutual trust and

respect.

A mentor is a guide who can help the mentee to find the right direction and

who can help them to develop solutions to career issues. Mentors rely upon

having had similar experiences to gain an empathy with the mentee and anunderstanding of their issues. Mentoring provides the mentee with an

opportunity to think about career options and progress.

A mentor should help the mentee to believe in him/herself and boost his/her

confidence. A mentor should ask questions and challenge, while providing

guidance and encouragement.

Mentoring allows the mentee to explore new ideas in confidence. It is a chance

to look more closely at yourself, your issues, opportunities and what you want

in life. Mentoring is about becoming more self aware, taking responsibility for

your life and directing your life in the direction you decide, rather than leaving

it to chance.

Informal Mentoring


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When a person recognises a set of values, actions,

believes and or outcomes of another person, they can

then model their own behaviour on the visible actions of

this chosen person.

The relationship is of an informal nature not set up in a

formal manner by any party, the mentee would normally

approach the would be mentor personally and ask for a

mentorship relationship.

Characteristics:

Goals are not defined

Outcomes are unknown to both parties

There may be no communication

Mentors may not be aware that they have been selected

No direct training / support is necessarily given

Outcomes are not always measured

Formal v informal mentoring relationships

Formal mentoring relationship setup by employer and informal mentoring

relationship is an initiative by mentee, in order to peruse career, which could

be same as mentor have. The advantages of an informal relationship are that it

is likely to be stronger and have a deeper element of friendship. Some studies

also suggest that the quality of the mentoring is likely to be higher.

The disadvantages include, it is much more difficult to find a suitable mentor,

and there is typically less clarity of purpose relationships often drift into

simple friendships, because neither party is clear what they want to achieve

from meeting.

Do We Need Coaching/Mentoring?

The Benefits of Coaching for Organisations


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Corporate Coaching is used in a number of different ways to achieve real value

for the organisation and its people, including:

1. Achieved performance goals at organisation, team and individual levels

2. Improved effectiveness and efficiency

3. Successful change

4. More effective leadership

5. Improved teamwork and partnership working

6. High impact communication

7. Implementation of robust and valuable performance management and

continuous improvement systems

8. Maximising the investment in formal training (the International Personnel

Management Associations research into training and development showed

that, following training, mentee productivity increased by just over 22%,

whereas training combined with coaching produces an increase in productivity

of 88%)

9. Increased motivation and positive orientation to work

10. Improved critical decision making

11. Greater creativity

12. Reduced stress

13. Improved time management14. Improved work/life balance and workforce health

15. Greater self awareness, self confidence, self esteem and insight into

personal development

Having a mentor can be one of the most powerful developmental relationships

you will ever experience. For example, four out of five chief executives say that

having a mentor was one of the keys to their success. Hundreds of thousands

of people from all walks of life and at all stages of their careers are able to

point to deep, personalised learning they have obtained from a developmental

relationship with someone of substantially greater experience, who has taken a

direct interest in them.

Powerful, often transformational mentoring relationships have helped young

graduates find their feet in an organisation, helped mothers of young children

return to work, or enabled young offenders to turn their lives around. People

coming up to retirement have been eased through this difficult time, by tapping


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into the experience of others, who have been through it already. In short,

mentoring can help anybody, who has a major transition to make in his or her

life, whoever or wherever they are.

The difference between coaching and mentoring

As can be seen above, there are many similarities between coaching and

mentoring! Mentoring, particularly in its traditional sense, enables an individual

to follow in the path of an older and wiser colleague who can pass on

knowledge, experience and open doors to otherwise out-of-reach opportunities.Coaching on the other hand is not generally performed on the basis that the

coach has direct experience of their clients formal occupational role unless the

coaching is specific and skills focused.

Having said this, there are professionals offering their services under the name

of mentoring who have no direct experience of their clients' roles and others

offering services under the name of coaching who do. So the moral of the story

is, it is essential to determine what your needs are and to ensure that the

coach or mentor can supply you with the type and level of service you require,

whatever that service is called.

Business coaching & mentoring

Organisational development, changes brought about by mergers and

acquisitions as well as the need to provide key mentees with support through a

change of role or career are often catalysts, which inspire companies to seek


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Have a track record in professional and executive roles

Work exclusively with the high-flyers or with those who have potential

to be a high flyer

Work at board or CEO level within high profile or blue-chip

organisations

Offer total confidentiality

Work with potential 'captains of industry' and high profile business

leaders

Performance Coaching and mentoring

Many coaching clients will seek coaching or mentoring for performance

enhancement rather than the rectification of a performance issue. Coaching &

mentoring have been shown to be highly successful intervention in these cases.

When an organisation is paying premium rates for development services,

performance is usually the key pay-back they are looking for. Even if an

executive or manager receives support in balancing work and home life, it will

be with the aim of increasing their effectiveness and productivity at work and

not for more altruistic reasons.

Performance coaching derives its theoretical underpinnings and models from

business and sports psychology as well as general management approaches.

Skills coaching & mentoring

Skills coaching has some commonalities with one-to-one training. Skills

coaches & mentors combine a holistic approach to personal development with

the ability to focus on the core skills a mentee needs to perform in their role.

Skills coaches & mentors should be highly experienced and competent in

performing the skills they teach.

Job roles are changing at an ever increasing rate. Traditional training

programmes are often too inflexible or generic to deal with these fast moving

requirements. In these instances one-to-one skills coaching allows a flexible,

adaptive just-in-time approach to skills development. It is also possible to

apply skills coaching in live environments rather than taking people away from

the job into a classroom where it is less easy to simulate the job environment.


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Skills coaching programmes are tailored specifically to the individual, their

knowledge, experience, maturity and ambitions and are generally focused on

achieving a number of objectives for both the individual and the company.

These objectives often include the individual being able to perform specific,

well-defined tasks whilst taking in to account the personal and career

development needs of the individual.

One-to-one skills training is not the same as the sitting next to Nelly approach

to on the job training. What differentiates it is that like any good personal or

professional development intervention it is based on an assessment of need in

relation to the job-role, delivered in a structured (but highly flexible) manner,

and generates measurable learning and performance outcomes. This form of

skills training is likely to focus purely on the skills required to perform the jobfunction even though it may adopt a facilitative coaching approach instead of a

'telling' or directive style.

Personal coaching & mentoring

Personal or life coaching is growing significantly in the UK, Europe and

Australia. Personal coaches may work face-to-face but email and telephone

based relationships are also very common. These coaches and mentors operate

in highly supportive roles to those who wish to make some form of significant

change happen within their lives.

Coaches offer their clients a supportive and motivating environment to explore

what they want in life and how they might achieve their aspirations and fulfill

their needs. By assisting the client in committing to action and by being a

sounding-board to their experiences, coaching allows the individual the

personal space and support they need to grow and develop. The coach's key

role is often is assisting the client to maintain the motivation and commitmentneeded to achieve their goals.

In many cases personal coaching is differentiated from business coaching

purely by the context and the focus of the programme. Business coaching is

always conducted within the constraints placed on the individual or group by

the organisational context. Personal coaching on the other hand is taken

entirely from the individual's perspective.


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How does coaching and mentoring compare with otherservices?

Traditional forms of training Coaching/mentoring

. Wholesale transfer of new skills,

e.g. change in procedures, new

systems (e.g. software

application training), new job

function.

. Programmes are mostly generic

and not tailored to individualneeds. Delegates generally have

to complete standard modules, so

there is little room for tailoring

the programme to account for

existing knowledge, skills or

preferences.

. Not always sufficiently similar to

the live working environment to

ensure effective skills transfer.

. Best suited to transfer of

knowledge and certain skills

rather than the development of

personal qualities or

competencies

. Development activities are

designed to suit clients personal

needs (whether aspiration or

performance related) and learning

styles.

. Fine tunes and develops skills.

. Can focus on interpersonal skills,

which cannot be readily or effectively

transferred in a traditional training

environment.

. Provides client with contacts and

networks to assist with furthering

their career or life aspirations.

. Performed in the live environment

or off-line.

. Highly effective when used as a

means of supporting training

initiatives to ensure that key skills

are transferred to the live

environment.

. Coaches and mentors transfer the

skills to the client rather than doing

the job for them.


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Counselling Consultancy

. Explore personal issues and

problems through discussion in

order to increase understanding

or develop greater self-

awareness.

. The aim of counselling is to lead

the client toward self-directed

actions to achieve their goals.

N.B Coaching and counseling share

many core skills. However,

professional counselors work with

personal issues in much greater

depth than would generally be

explored within a coaching context.

. Focus is on developing

organisational practices, processes

and structure.

. Role generally more strategic and

often used to instigate and design

broad ranging change programmes

. Consultancy frequently involves

expert advice about specific issues

and organisational processes.

. Consultants are often brought in to

provide specific solutions to

business problems and needs

. Consultant leads the job for the

organisation: whilst up skilling the

mentee/client may be a contractual

part of the service, it is not generally

the primary goal.

N.B. The term consultant coach is often

used when the coach is external to the

organisation and therefore offering

services on an external or consultancy

basis. This is not, however, the same as

consultancy per se.

Coaching and mentoring has been

offered by consultancy companies for

many years, even though it is not

specifically consultancy It is only

recently that people have begun

drawing a distinction which in some

cases, like the distinction between

coaching and mentoring, is not useful in


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distinguishing between them.

Is coaching just therapy by another name?

Coaching is not therapy by another name although the key theoreticalunderpinnings, models and techniques found their origins in the field of

psychology and associated therapies like gestalt &cognitive behavioural

therapy which have broad ranging applications in both organisational and

personal contexts.

The key difference between coaching and the therapies is that coaching does

not seek to resolve the deeper underlying issues that are the cause of serious

problems like poor motivation, low self-esteem and poor job performance.

Coaching and mentoring programmes are generally more concerned with the

practical issues of setting goals and achieving results within specific time-

scales.

Coaching and mentoring is generally commenced on the premise that clients

are self-aware and whole and have selected coaching or mentoring because

they do not require a therapeutic intervention. It is possible for someone who

has underlying issues to experience success within a coaching context even if

the underlying issues are not resolved. If, however, a client becomes stuckand the coaching or mentoring programme is not achieving desired results,

then a psychological or therapeutic intervention may be necessary for the client

to move forward and achieve their goals.

Coach & mentor training programmes which are typically quite short are not

aimed at qualifying coaches to conduct an assessment of whether someone

may be in need of a therapeutic intervention, rather than a coaching or

mentoring one. This is driven in part by the professional restrictions and

barriers that have traditionally been placed around psychology and the

therapies, but is mostly due to the fact that psychological assessment is a

complex process that does require specialised training. Professional coaches &

mentors do, however, stay ever alert to the possibility that a client may have

or may develop issues or problems for which coaching or mentoring on its own,

is not sufficient.

Client progress is always monitored and coaches and mentors watch for signs
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which may indicate that a client requires an assessment by a trained therapist.

Some coaches will on-refer a client to an appropriate therapist if this is felt to

be useful. Other coaches will conduct a coaching programme in parallel with a

therapeutic intervention.

Most coaches & mentors are keen to maintain the professional boundaries

between coaching & mentoring and the traditional therapies and will

collaborate with therapists when a client requires this form of intervention.

The traditional therapies, psychology and counselling and their

relationship to coaching

Because of this relationship between coaching and psychology & the therapies,

some professionals offering coaching services are, in fact, therapists or

psychologists who are marketing their services under the names coaching and

mentoring. This means it is possible to offer the appropriate level of service

depending on immediate needs and client preferences. This also has the

benefit of transcending some of the negative conceptions of what these

services involve.

Services of this nature can often be found under the terms positive or coaching

psychology to make it easier for clients to find service providers who take apsychological focus within their work as a coach. For an explanation of

coaching psychology as an area of practice see

www.coachingpsychologist.net/WhatIs/Index.php

Anyone seeking life improvement, and who is willing to work at the deeper

issues, should consider contracting a coach or mentor who does have a

traditional therapeutic background in the first instance. If the client is not sure

if they have issues that would benefit from a therapeutic intervention are

encouraged to secure professional an assessment by an appropriately qualified

person.

Mentoring versus other forms of development

Mentoring is often confused with coaching, or teaching, or counselling.

In practice, a mentor may draw on all of these approaches, but they are

not the same as mentoring, as the chart below indicates.
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Coach Teacher Counsellor Mentor

Focus Task and

performance

Knowledge/

information

Building self-

awareness

and self-confidence

Building

capability

Key skill(s) Giving

feedback on

observed

performance

Instructing/

explaining

Listening,

questioning

Helping

learner

discover

their own

wisdom

Goal-

orientation

Sets or

suggests

goals for the

learner

Passing a

test

Helping the

person cope

on their own

Works with

learners own

goals

Closeness

of the

relationship

Moderate Low Low Relatively

high, often

becoming a

strong

friendship

Flow of

learning

One-way One-way One-way Two-way,

AdultLearning.

Two schools of mentoring

Structured mentoring, in which people are encouraged and supported in

developing and sustaining mentoring relationships, emerged as an important

movement in the early 1970s, in the United States. This early model was

aimed primarily at high-flying young men in business organisations and

emphasised the role of the mentor as sponsor and protector of the younger

persons career. In this approach, the junior partner in the relationship is

typically described as aprotg someone to be protected.

When the concept spread to Europe a decade later, it very quickly changed to

one, which emphasised empowering people to take charge of their own


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development and career momentum. In this approach, the mentors

accumulated experience and wisdom is not necessarily passed on directly it

provides a background, from which the mentee builds their own. Mentors also

expect to extract significant learning from the relationship, too.

The less experienced partner is typically referred to as the mentee although a

variety of other terms, such as mentoree are also used.

Expectations and characteristics of a Business Coach

The goal of a business coach should always be to help draw out leadership

capability in individuals he is associated with. A business coach must make aneffort to help the business executive learn about how to design and link specific

leadership challenges, assuming complete responsibility to overcome the

challenge successfully.

A business coach must take the following steps first, before introducing them

with the leadership and problem solving aspects:

Take into account the work culture and the talent of the team, by partneringfirst with the CEO or business head and the HR team.

The mentoring should go on for as long as the business coach is not completely

satisfied with the performance of the participants. The aim here is to coach the

executives in such a way that they are aware of every aspect of leadership and

problem solving skills.

Companies hire business coaches to improve the performance of the team,

both, collectively as a team and individually. After the completion of the

coaching session an executive should have a better understanding of individual

and organizational behaviour. He should be able to comprehend the key

changes that are required for his transition from manager to leader.

The six characteristics that are indispensable requisites for a successful

business coach are:


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1.Strong Belief:

Coaches need to have a very strong belief system, a vision of the future, a

positive approach to every problem and a strong understanding of themselves.

This they need to pass on to the managers, who lack these basic leadership

skills.

2. Optimism:

This is an absolutely essential trait for a leader. It is a trait that sets apart the

managers from leaders and the coach himself should have this approach on life

and business, to teach others.

3. Courage:

The coach has to hardwire this virtue in managers. He has to prove to them

that although we all have our own fears; the main thing is to learn how to

overcome them in the best possible way.

4. Teamwork:

This is a very important point to remember. It is preached everywhere, but

seldom practiced. The coach should himself know how to work within a team.

Everyone knows that leaders cannot do everything by themselves and so they

have a team of individuals with different talents. He has to guide the team insuch a way that each talent is fully utilized and the team feels good about

using their talent.

5. Good preparation:

Always prepare and go through your content before you start implementing

them on the participants. The content needs to cover all the aspects of the

subject, from basic skills to designing and implementation of leadership ideas.

6. Clear communication:

The most important of all traits is effective communication. Managers dont

essentially become leaders because they cannot communicate their ideas to

the management and their team effectively. A business coach is not only

responsible for polishing the communication skills of the participant, but also

on how he speaks and conveys management strategy to the participants.


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Expectations and characteristics of a Mentor

Not everyone can be a great mentor, after all. The most successful mentors are

going to be those people who want to share their experiences, their knowledge,

the skills and the solutions that they've discovered for common issues that

come up on the job.

Those who are going to be fantastic with being a mentor will have an innate

understanding that sharing what they know with a new hire puts them in a

position of power rather than someone who has the sense that knowledge is

power.

In order for someone to be a great mentor, he or she needs to be comfortable

with the work that they are doing. A great mentor sees himself or herself as a

part of a team, and is consistently committed to making a difference, to being

dependable and reliable - especially when that means that it's a good idea to

consider another way of doing things, a method that might be more logical or

intuitive. In other words, mentors need to be willing to do more than just teach

their experiences, they must be willing to learn from others around them -

including their mentees.

While mentors lead by example, not every leader is a mentor. Some of the best

leaders lead by instructing others, by engaging those who follow them and by

expecting others to simply embrace their way of doing things. Great mentors,

on the other hand, lead by showing that there's always more to be learned.

Mentors lead from within their team not from outside of it.

Of course, mentoring programs do foster an environment in which others can

become mentors. Some of the best mentoring training comes simply frombeing mentored and recognizing the benefits of mentoring programs. By

working with a great mentor who is inspiring, reliable and consistent, those

who are looking to develop mentoring skills will be able to get a sense of

whether or not they're interested in becoming a mentor and what they may

need to work on in themselves to become better at their jobs, more effective in

their lives and to, in time, grow to mentor others.


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The most important characteristic that mentors share is the willingness to lead

by example and to focus on the ways in which differences will make the

company stronger. Some of the best mentors are going to find that those who

they have mentored move beyond them in the company or become better at

the job than the mentor himself or herself.

There is a strength that is a part of being a mentor that not everyone has;

however, developing those strengths is something that will benefit the mentor,

the mentee and the organization overall.

The qualities which are essential in an effective mentor include:

A DESIRE TO HELP

Individuals who are interested in and willing to help others.

HAVE HAD POSITIVE EXPERIENCES

Individuals who have had positive formal or informal experiences with a mentor

tend to be good mentors themselves.

GOOD REPUTATION FOR DEVELOPING OTHERS

Experienced people who have a good reputation for helping others developtheir skills.

TIME & ENERGY

People who have the time and mental energy to devote to the relationship.

UP-TO-DATE KNOWLEDGE

Individuals who have maintained current, up-to-date technological knowledge

and/or skills.

LEARNING ATTITUDE

Individuals who are still willing and able to learn and who see the potential

benefits of a mentoring relationship.

DEMONSTRATED EFFECTIVE MANAGERIAL (MENTORING) SKILLS

Individuals who have demonstrated effective coaching, counselling, facilitating

and networking skills.


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Styles of Coaching and Mentoring

Mentoring Styles:

Letting Go Style

Getting into the conversation by:

Giving time to let things develop.

Waiting for things to happen in a natural way.

Avoiding an over-emotional approach

Avoiding rush and pressure.

Active Listening Style


Asking questions when things are unclear.

Checking things by summarizing.

Being reserved in giving your own opinion.Giving space to the mentee.

Showing that you understand the mentee.

Advisory Style


Giving suggestions for good problem solving.

Advising as an objective outsider.

Giving alternatives so that the mentee can make a choice.

Giving advice expertise based

Prescribing Style



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Taking responsibility for solving the mentees problems.

Offering instructions on how to handle problems.

Being convincing and persuading.

Requiring improvement and if necessary holding out the prospect of

consequences.

Cooperative Style


Striving for a joint vision.

Involving the mentee in problem-solving.

Giving space to the opinion of the mentee.Appreciating equality in contributions.

Being focussed on cooperation.

Recognizable Coaching Styles

Coaching can pave the way to company growth and increased profit, or

speedier advancement and higher income. The coaching styles listed here

have been developed by countless business and personal coaches over the

years. Coaching concepts are simplified and broken up into bite-sized chunks

using real-world examples.

The knowledge and sense of achievement that a good coach or mentor can

bring to your life and to your business will contribute to your bottom line year

after year; it will also lay a critical foundation for future business and personal

success.

There are 30 coaching methods or styles in current use.

Let's take a look at each of the 30 coaching styles

A business coach, like a sports coach, may be authoritarian, cooperative or

advisory. This is their personal style, but the types of coaching available are far

more varied than that and each of the following methods, or models, can be
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applied in an authoritarian, cooperative or advisory manner.

1.Traditional Coaching Model Where the coach empathizes and feels

what the client feels, acting as a confidant and guide.

2. Intermediate Model Where the client wants the coach to collaborate

on developing goals and on achieving them.

3. Advanced Coaching Model Where you want to make a substantial

break from your past, to try new things and new ways of doing them.

4. Integrity Coaching Model This model works like a diagnostic tool,

separating wants and needs.

5. Block Removal Coaching When you find yourself resistant to growth

it's like a block, caused by limiting beliefs, or hidden fears. This model will

unblock the flow of energy.

6. Personal Evolution Model Development gives you more of what you

have. With evolution, you actually become a different person - by changing

your environment.

7. Innovation Coaching Model This model centers on innovation,

experimentation and creativity.

8. Attraction Coaching Model As you add value to your life, you attract

feedback and opportunities.

9. 3-D Coaching Model This model works on Who you are, What you

want, and How to get it.

10. Linear Coaching Set the goal, create the plan, take action, and hold

yourself accountable.

11. Personal Foundation Model Works on boundaries and standards.

The higher you want to go, the deeper your foundation must be.

12. Extreme Self Care Model Finding life too complicated? This may be

for you - it means redesigning and simplifying your life.13. Bigger Thinking Model Challenge your assumptions, expand your

thinking, and break out of your comfort zone!

14. Vision Coaching Model Identify a trend, extrapolate it out into the

future (the vision), then decide to take advantage of that trend today.

15. Distinction Coaching Re-orienting from an old way of doing

something to a new way of doing something.

16. Paradigm Coaching Understand the current set of assumptions and


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values, then look at the trends. If the game has changed, prepare to

change with it.

17. Solution Coaching Recognize symptoms, discover the source of the

symptoms, find a solution.

18. Corporate Coaching Most companies don't have a single vision.

When the corporate vision is clear, everyone understands and benefits.

19. Zen Coaching Model Surrender to what is happening, accept it and

find balance.

20. Leap Coaching Model Challenge yourself to something that is far

bigger than you are used to - take Massive action.

21. Grace Coaching Model Having faith in yourself, being generous to

others, and finding the joy in accomplishing great things.22. Paradox Coaching In this model, one learns to recognize conflicts,

understands both sides without trying to resolve them, and succeeds within

the paradox.

23. Shift Coaching Model When you cannot see how to achieve your

goals, sometimes a shift in thinking is required. Step back, inquire, shift,

and move forward on a new track.

24. Recovery Coaching Model Used when recovering from business

failure, family loss, etc. Instead of denying it, resisting it, or hiding it,

accept it and move on.

25. Deep Coaching Our basic beliefs can gradually shift over time until

they are no longer true. Digging deep will find the 'out-dated truth' which

can then be aligned with today's reality.

26. Strategic Coaching This model identifies real opportunity, helps you

decide the role you will play, creates a game plan and monitors the action

taken in carrying out the plan.

27. Performance Coaching Model For the competitive client. Develop a

compelling goal; create milestones to keep yourself focused on the goals,

build momentum with daily reporting.

28. Turnaround Coaching In this model you will go digging for

problems, determine causes and effects, restore integrity, and then

establish new goals for the turnaround.

29. Quality of Life Coaching Dissatisfied with life? Job not fulfilling?

Fulfillment comes from living your values, so this model calls for a re-


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evaluation.

30. Acceptance Coaching Model Most people try to overcome a

weakness, rather than accepting it and using it to their advantage.

Acceptance Coaching provides the answer.

Context for effective Business Coach or Formal Mentor

Effective Coaching and Mentoring needs a skills set to ensure that you get to

maximum effectiveness. The skill set required includes the following:

Communication

Establishing the Reality

Feedback

Communication:

Communication skills simply do not refer to the way in which we communicatewith another person. It includes many other things - the way in which werespond to the person we are speaking, body gestures including the facialones, pitch and tone of our voice and a lot of other things. And the importanceof communication skills is not just limited to the management world, sinceeffective communication skills are now required in each and every aspect of our

life.

Inter Personal Communication

Transactional Analysis:

Transactional Analysis is a theory developed by Dr. Eric Berne in the 1950s.

Originally trained in psychoanalysis, Berne wanted a theory which could beunderstood and available to everyone.

Transactional Analysis is a social psychology and a method to improve

communication.


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The theory outlines how we have developed and treat ourselves, how we

relate and communicate with others, and offers suggestions and

interventions which will enable us to change and grow.

TA includes 3 major areas that are Ego States, Transaction, and

Strokes & Games.

Ego States

Parent Ego State characterized by domineering, over

protective & loving, stern and critical. It is illustrated by those

who establish standard and rule for other.

Adult Ego State In this people attack problems in a cool

minded rational manner. In adult state information is

gathered, carefully analyze it, generate alternative, and make

logical choices.

Child Ego State submissive & conforming, insubordinate,

emotional, joyful, or rebellious. Characterize by very

immature behaviours.

Transaction between ego states

Complimentary transaction: It shows 3 possible complementary.

Transactions are complimentary if the message sent or behaviour exhibited by

1 person ego state receives the appropriate and expected response from the

other person ego state.

Crossed Transaction:It is occurs when message sent the behaviour

exhibited by the 1 persons ego state is reacted to by an incompatible and

unexpected ego state on the part of the other person.


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Ulterior Transaction: They are very damaging to interpersonal relation

because it always involves at least two ego states on the part of 1 person.

Individual may say one thing but mean quite another.

Strokes and Games

Strokes: It means simply that beginning in infancy and continuing throughout

their lives, people need cuddling, affection, recognition, and praise. People

dont get positive strokes when they will seek out negative strokes. The strokes

are divided in to two categories:-

Positive

Negative

Games: Games are set or pattern of transactions that have surface logic but


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hidden meaning and attempt to drawing in an unsuspecting participant. The

outcome of the games is always a win - lose proposition.

Interpersonal communication deals with relationships between people,

usually in face-to-face private settings.

Interpersonal communication is the primary way through which

relationships are created, maintained, and changed

Uses of Interpersonal Communication

Give and collect information.

Influence the attitudes and behaviour of others.

Give and receive emotional support.

Form contacts and maintain relationships.

Make sense of the world and our experiences in it.

Make decisions and solve problems.

ISSUES INFLUENCING INTERPERSONALCOMMUNICATION

Communication Barriers:

In its journey from one person to another, information encounters a whole

range of obstacles that can alter, change or completely block out the message.

These are called Barriers and include assumptions, distractions, discomfort,

language, jargon, anxiety or jargon.

Personality conflict:

Each of us has a unique way of interacting with

others.

Personal opposition always based on :

o personal dislikes,


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o personal Ego states,

o personal disagreements,

o different personality styles.

Gender Differences

Communication Barriers between men & women:

Difference in style of conversation.

Both have different mind set, priorities

and principles.

Ways of dealing with the same

situation are very different.

A research shows that Men use to talk to emphasize status whereas

women use it to create connection.

Cultural Differences

Cross Cultural Communication

Barriers caused by differences among perception.

Barriers caused by tone difference.

Barriers caused by semantics.

Same word means different things to different people.

Barriers caused by word connotations. Words imply different things in

different languages.

Politically Correct Communication:

How do you describe a person who is wheelchair bound (as

handicapped or physically challenged)

Similarly, a blind or visually impaired,

Elderly or senior,

We must be sensitive of others feelings.

Should choose politically correct word.


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Words might have the same meaning but politically correctness refers

either words are soothing or hurting someone.

Emotional Intelligence:

Intelligence Quotient (EQ), describes an ability, capacity, or skill to perceive,

assess, and manage the emotions of one's self, of others, and of groups. As a

relatively new area of psychological research, the definition of EI is constantly

changing.

Emotional Intelligence is increasingly relevant to organisational development

and developing people, because the EQ principles provide a new way to

understand and assess people's behaviours, management styles, attitudes,

interpersonal skills, and potential.

Emotion-related abilities should help people choose the best course of action

when navigating social encounters. For example, the ability to decode facial

expressions of emotion can help one to evaluate how other people respond to

ones words and actions, yielding important information for adjusting ones

behaviour (Nowicki & Duke, 2001).

The ability to use emotions to guide thinking can help one to consider both

emotions and technical information when evaluating an interpersonal problem.

The ability to manage emotions should help individuals experience and express

emotions that contribute to favourable social

encounters, in part through emotional contagion (Hatfield, Cacioppo, & Rapson,

1994).

TYPES OF COMMUNICATION

Communication can be divided into two categories:

Internal

External


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Face to Face Communication

When communicating face-to-face, body language plays a vital role in

conveying the appropriate messages.

Eye Contact:

In the business culture, it is imperative to make eye

contact if one wishes to make a positive impression

with guests and maintain a relationship based on trust.

Consider the following:

Maintain eye contact without staring, as this is arrogant and threatening.

Avoid blinking too much as this communicates nervousness and

can be interpreted as an indication of dishonesty Try to keep eye level on the same level as the guest. Stand if the guest

is standing. If the guest is seated, accommodate this by standing back a

little.

Facial Expressions:

Be aware of facial expressions when speaking to people.

Professional service providers who deliver excellent service havealert, lively and appropriate facial expressions.

Avoid the following facial expressions:

An expressionless or deadpan face showing no emotion in response

to what guests say makes them feel uncomfortable. This may beinterpreted as boredom, rudeness or indifference.

An arrogant or stern expression creates the impression of being

superior to others.

Grinning continually makes one look stupid. It creates the impression

of misunderstanding what is being said or done. It may also create the

impression of being deliberately unhelpful.


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Gestures:

Head and hand movements are common during speech:

Smooth and wide gestures with palms facing upwards, are warm and

welcoming. People react positively to friendliness and helpfulness.

Guests are naturally drawn to people who use calming gestures.

Sharp, short gestures with palms facing downwards, are aggressive and negative.

People react by wanting to either dispute or avoid. When upset or if there is a need to

discuss problems, gestures should be controlled. Problems are never resolved

through aggressive gestures

Posture:

The way the speaker stands, sits or walks, indicates a

great deal about the speakers attitude, mood and self-

esteem.

A correct posture entails the following:

Stand upright with arms comfortably at sides

Keep shoulders dropped and slightly back Stand with feet slightly apart to maintain balance

Walk briskly because it creates a professional impression

Sit upright with shoulders back. Slouching looks lazy

When speaking to guests, either face them or turn the body slightly

sideways towards them

Avoid leaning against walls or furniture

Avoid folded arms they create the impression of being shy or arrogant

Standing with hands on hips looks arrogant Swinging when speaking to people suggests a lack of self-confidence

Resting the face on hands while leaning on counters looks lazy.

Personal space:

This refers to the space each person has


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around him/her and into which intrusions are unwelcome. The exact size of

the area around each person differs and depends on a variety of factors

including, personality, culture, family background and even the type of sport

played.

Shy people usually need a wider personal space than outgoing people do.

People instinctively indicate when their space is invaded - they either move

away slightly, look uncomfortable, blink their eyes to show their discomfort, or

look behind the speaker to avoid eye contact.

Business Communication

Business is conducted through various channels of communication, includingthe Internet, Print (Publications), Radio, Television, Ambient media, Outdoor,

and Word of mouth.

Business Communication can also refer to internal communication. A

communications director will typically manage internal communication and craft

messages sent to mentees. It is vital that internal communications are

managed properly because a poorly crafted or managed message could foster

distrust or hostility from mentees.

There are several methods of business communication, including:

Web-based communication - for better and

improved communication, anytime anywhere...

E-mails, which provide an instantaneous medium of

written communication worldwide;

Reports- important in documenting the activities of

any department;

Presentations - very popular method of

communication in all types of organisations, usually involving audiovisual material,

like copies of reports, or material prepared in Microsoft PowerPoint or Adobe

Flash;

Telephoned meetings, which allow for long distance speech;

Forum boards, which allow people to instantly post information at a

centralized location; and
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Face to face meetings, which are personal and should be succeeded by a

written follow-up.

E-mail:

Electronic mailoften abbreviated as e-mail or emailis a method of

exchanging digital messages, designed primarily for human use. A message at

least consists of its content, an author address and one or more recipient

addresses.

Email systems that operate over a network-rather than being limited to a

single, shared machine-are based on a store-and-forward model in which email

computer server systems accept, forward, deliver or store messages on behalf

of users, who only need to connect to the email infrastructure with their

personal computer or other network-enabled device for the duration of

message submission to, or retrieval from, their designated server. Rarely is

email transmitted directly from one user's device to another's

Establishing the Reality

Both coaching and mentoring are processes that the mentee to achieve their

full potential.

Facilitate the exploration of needs, motivations, desires, skills and thought

processes to assist the individual in making real, lasting change.

Use questioning techniques to facilitate the mentees own thought processes in

order to identify solutions and actions rather than take a wholly directive

approach:

Support the mentee in setting appropriate goals and methods of

assessing progress in relation to these goals

Observe, listen and ask questions to understand the mentees

situation

Creatively apply tools and techniques which may include one-to-one

training, facilitating, counselling & networking.

Encourage a commitment to action and the development of lasting

personal growth & change.
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Maintain unconditional positive regard for the client, which means

that the coach is at all times supportive and non-judgemental of the

client, their views, lifestyle and aspirations.

Ensure that mentee develop personal competencies and do not

develop unhealthy dependencies on the coaching or mentoring

relationship.

Evaluate the outcomes of the process, using objective measures

wherever possible to ensure the relationship is successful and the

client is achieving their personal goals.

Encourage mentee to continually improve competencies and to

develop new developmental alliances where necessary to achieve

their goals.

Work within their area of personal competence.

Manage the relationship to ensure the client receives the appropriate

level of service and that programmes are neither too short, nor too

long.

Feedback:

Follow the Guidelines for Effective Interpersonal Communication

There are fundamental strategies that should always be part of interpersonalcommunication in the work place.

Dont personalize the situation or behaviour, concentrate on the facts.

Be considerate and respectful of the other person.

Develop productive alliances with others in the work place.

Be an example.

Dont personalize the situation orbehaviour, concentrate on the facts:

By focusing on facts, you minimize blame, reduce defensive reactions, and

encourage cooperation.

In difficult or negative situations,

Avoid using You statements and making judgements.

Lets look at ways . . .

Lets talk about . . .


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Get the facts about the situation.

Dont blame or point fingers. Focus on the issues, not the person.

You vs. I statements

You statements tend to be received defensivelythey blame, judge, and

assume things that may not be true. I messages let the mentee respond with

his or her perspective on the situation.

YOU did this. This is what I observed.

YOU shouldnt have done that. Heres how I think . . .

YOU must be crazy. Its important that we talk about this.

Simply beginning a statement with the word I doesnt make it an effective

statement.

I feel frustrated when you dont get your reports to me on time.

Vs. I feel frustrated when I dont have the reports in time for the 2:00

meeting.

Be considerate and respectful of the other person.

Mentees work best when they feel they are making a contribution to the client

and the company. Each person needs to feel confident that they can do the

job.

As a supervisor or manager, the confidence you show (or dont show) in your

mentees affects their performance.

Its important to give positive feedback to others in the organization based on

their efforts, as well as their results. Show them that you believe they have the

ability to do the job well.

Say Thank you to others to show your appreciation for the contributions they

make to the organization.

Remember . . .

How you say something is as important as what you say!

Notice your nonverbal communicationbody language, facial expressions,

gestures.


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How you say something is SIX TIMESas important as what yousay.

Instead of giving orders, make requests

Look at the following phrases:

Youll have to take this to George.

Youll have to have it ready in time for the meeting.

Communication is made up of three parts

55% non verbalexpressions, gestures

38% tone of voice

7% actual words

Any time you tell someone they have to do something, he or she usually

reacts with the 3 Rs:

ReluctanceResentment

Resistance

Only when you wantto do something will you do something voluntarily. That

is why it is important to change orders into requests or recommendations.

What part of your job is the most exciting to you?

How much freedom do you have to perform this part of your job in your

own way?

Does the amount of freedom you have contribute to your motivation and

satisfaction with this part of your job?

What was the last task you gave to one of your mentees?

Did you allow your mentee the amount of freedom to determine the best

way to perform that task as you enjoy?

What could you have done differently?

What difference might it have made?


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Develop productive alliances with others in the work place.

Collaborative relationships are more successful than adversarial ones.

Good relationships reduce stress, build trust, and help you get the job done.

Take advantage of opportunities to show your co-workers and others you work

with that you are interested in them. Be courteous and appreciative. Treat

them the way you want to be treated.

Handle small problems while theyre smalldont let them build into bigger

problems. Keep focused on the future. It might feel good to unload

occasionally, but generally its not worth it.

Keep the goals of the organization in mind, and continue to develop

collaborative relationships between co-workers, departments, and governing

agencies.

Be an example.

What you do is often more important than what you say.

Actions speak louder than words.

In your Coaching/Mentoring role, your actions show others:

The priorities of the organization and your work group.

How to deal with change.

How to consider department goals and objectives to make good

decisions.

Whether it is worth the risk to suggest improvements.

What you value.

The way you handle situations and issues is looked at by others as a

guide to what you think is important and what is important. Mentees

model their behaviour based on what they see you do.

Coaching for Results

Coaching is frequent, specific feedback is designed to raise the level of

performance. It has many important applications and functions:


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Learn to identify coaching opportunities and act on themperson asks, is

struggling or stuck, expresses the desire to improve, has a negative attitude,

etc.

2. If the person doesnt seem to be ready, show why improvement will

benefit the individuals development and the team or company, but

dont force the issue.

Would you be interested . . .? Would you like to discuss . . .?

3. Ask questions to clarify the situation.

Encourage the mentee to analyze his own performance. The mentees input

might give the coach new information about the problem.

Ask How much . . . or What happened as a result . . .questions

rather than Why questions.

4. Help the person come up with possible solutions or actions.

Assist in developing concrete action plans

Minimize defensive reactions by having the mentee participate

Give the mentee a better feel for how hes doing

What steps could you take . . .?What actions can you think of . . .?

5. Arrive on a course of action agreeable to both of you.

Show how their ideas might affect their performance

Give other options to consider

Reinforce positive ideas

What are you going to do . . .?

6. End on a positive note.

Show that you have confidence in the mentee

Offer your support.

Dont take over for the mentee, let them take responsibility.

Task-Specific Communication

In many instances, an mentees ability to achieve outstanding performance

depends on how effectively supervisors communicate on distributing tasks. This


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is a very complex subject, involving orienting the mentee to the work group

and responsibilities, training, and providing on-going guidance and direction, as

necessary. When specific projects or tasks are distributed, supervisors are well

advised to use the following model:

Describe the scope and requirements of the job to be completed. This

communication orients the mentee to the project, providing parameters.

Describe timelines, deadlines, and schedules. Any project or task

that is time dependent should be planned with the mentee to identify

periodic and/or final deadlines and to schedule necessary resources.

Describe the attributes or characteristics of the project. Mentees need

to know what the tasks outcome or project outcome should look like.

For experienced mentees, this definition may be enough for them to

complete the work. Less experienced mentees, or mentees learning new

tasks, may need more guidance to specify the various elements of the

work.

Describe resources that will be available for the task. If the mentee is

on his/her own, the mentee obviously needs to know that. If the menteewill be working with others, he/she needs to know that. For some tasks,

mentees may need to know the budget assigned to the job, or staffing

levels for the job.

Describe the rationale or reasons for each of the above elements. For

example, a scope may be defined in a particular manner because a

client has to work within certain software configurations or hardware

requirements (all Mac, all PC, for example). A deadline may be

necessary because a system conversion will occur.

Performance-based Feedback

Performance-based feedback should be balanced; it should reflect the array of

activities, behaviours, and progress mentees have made related to their work


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assignments and responsibilities. Feedback can reflect positive performance,

competent performance, or needs improvement performance.

In any of these cases, it should be

direct, specific,and reasonably assessed.

Frequent, specific feedback is designed to raise the level of

performance.

It has many important applications and functions:

To improve poor performance

Look for patterns in the mentees behaviour.

If you see a performance problem or a potential performance problem,

determine if the mentee understands what is expected, what obstacles

might be preventing good performance, and whether there is a lack of skills,

training, or motivation.

To maintain standard performance

Give praise to keep performance on track.

If the person wants to expand skills, allow for appropriate training.

To encourage mentees to exceed performance standards

Praise to keep performance on track.

Provide training to expand skills.

Mentor for increased responsibility.

Assign special projects, if possible.

To assist mentees in developing new skills

Provide training.

Give feedback to reinforce learning.

Providing Positive Feedback

Rarely do mentees receive more than enough feedback, let alone more than

enoughpositive feedback. Conditioning theory and practical experience tell us

that positive feedback and praise produce more of the desired behaviour. For


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mentees learning new tasks or doing good work, providing positive

communication is invaluable to continuing the learning or good work.

Here are some examples of positive communication that isspecific,

constructive, and reinforcing:

I want to thank you for the work youve done on

The user reports that their productivity has greatly improved since you

worked on their trackingsystem.

Good work on improving the proposal. You have done a much better

job of assessing your audience, defining problems, and developing

specific, doable recommendations.

It has been difficult learning this material. Its clear to me from your

application reviews that youve got a good eye for the details of the

application process. That will help our clients.

These simple statements, which do not cost any money to give, will produce

positive results in productivity and future quality work.

Give praise

For improvements in performance.

Frequently and honestly, not reluctantly.

As soon after the performance as possible.

Sometimes privately, sometimes, publicly; depending on the

mentee and the circumstances.

As often as it is deserved.

Fairly and consistently.

Notice Improvements!

For people trying to change behaviour or improve their learning,

reinforcement is critical. People often do not know whether theyve

made the right decisions or performed correctly unless they receive

guidance or feedback from others. Your job as a mentor is to


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help people, especially when theyre trying to make changes, know

they are improving.

I noticed that you made some significant changes in your proposal

from the last time. These are good changes. Your sentences are

shorter, your word choice is simpler, and your statements better

supported.

I can see that youve worked hard to reduce the number of errors in

this process. It looks like your double checking has brought the error

level to zero. Great improvement

Without consistent, fair reinforcement and positive verbal feedback, people will

revert to their comfortable behaviour, not necessarily because they do not

want

to perform capably, but because they arent sure what that is.

Feedback on Problem Performance

Analysing Problem Performance

Sometimes employees have on-going performance problems that require

analysis as to their source, reason, and resolution. The following questions will

help you to define critical issues related to performance problems:

1. What is the mentee doing wrong?

2. What specific behaviour do you want from the mentee?

3. Is the problem worth dealing with?

4. Does the mentee know what is expected?

5. Does the mentee know how to do what you want done?

6. Are there obstacles (work or personal) which prevent them from

performing at the level you want?

7. Does a negative consequence follow good performance?

8. Does a positive consequence follow bad performance?

9. Could the mentee do it if they wanted to?

10. How does the mentee performance affect others?


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11. What are the consequences to the mentee if poor performance

continues?

Use the Willing / Able Unwilling / Unable Matrix

Your performance evaluation process may benefit from figuring out whether

your problem performer has a willingness or ability problem. Look at the

grid below:

The mentee is:

Willing and able

What characteristics demonstrate this

condition?

Willing, but unable


condition?

Unwilling, but able


condition?

Unwilling and unable


condition?

Your solution to mentee performance problems will depend on whether the

mentee has the ability or willingness to do the job. If the mentee cannot dothe job because he/she doesnt have the skill, your solution will be more

training and skill development. If the mentee can do the job but will not, you

will have to discern the obstacle to performance.

Guidelines for Constructive Feedback in Difficult Situations:

After answering your planning questions, you are ready to use your bestcommunication skills to have your feedback session with the mentee.

Show that your intentions are constructive, not critical.

Im concerned about the completion of your project. I want to make sure Im

doing everything I can to help you make the deadline. Use I statement

strategies.

Describe your observations.


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Point out the difference between what you have observed and the standards

you agreed on.

The due date is next Wednesday, and from what I can tell, it looks like its

going to slip byabout a week.

Tell how the behaviour or action affects you, the work group, and the

company.

Be specific, objective, timely, and honest. Focus on behaviours or actions, not

the person.

If you miss the deadline thatwill be a problem for the user whos relying on

the system changes before the end of the month.

Ask for a response.

Use listening and questioning skills to reach a mutual understanding of the

problem. When you get excuses, show understanding, but get the discussion

back on track.

Distinguish between reasons and excuses.

What do you think about this problem? What ideas do you have to meet the

deadline?

Use acknowledgment and clarification skills to make sure you and the menteeare on the same page.

Concentrate the discussion on solutions.

Ask for ideas. Focus on the problem, not the mentee. If the person becomes

emotional, give them time to calm down. If appropriate, ask for the change

you want. If you make suggestions, dont come across as an expert.

So it sounds like you think we need to put more resources into

Tell the mentee what you are going to do and why.

Documentation or formal disciplinary actions should be explained.

We agreed at the beginning of the project that you would keep me informed if

any slips occurred. If you had told me about this earlier, I could have gotten

more resources for you sooner, and we wouldntbe in this situation. As it is, I

have two other projects going that need attention. Since this happened in


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the last project we worked on, its become a serious issue. I would like to see

immediate improvement in this area, or I will begin the disciplinary process

with a written warning.

Agree on an action plan and follow up date.

Get commitment.

So at this point, I will allocate one more person to the project full time. As

weve discussed, youll getback to me tomorrow after youve fully assessed the

issue to let me know whether this will be sufficient.

Show that you support the mentee.

Its important to me that you succeed with this project. I want this to come

out well for you and the user. So tomorrow I want you to come fully prepared

with your assessment so we can make sure that we meet the commitment we

made.

Giving Constructive Feedback

Feedback is open, honest, timely, two-way communication between people.

Frequent constructive feedback in the work place increases performance and

provides motivation for continuing improvement. It doesnt cost anything to

use except taking the time to pay attention to the mentee.

Feedback is given to improve performance and encourage goal achievement,

not to blame or criticize.

When performance is measured, performance improves. When

performance is measured and reported back, the rate of improvement

accelerates.--Thomas S Monson

The old saying, The squeaky wheel gets the grease usually applies to

feedback. The exceptional performers, good and bad, get noticed, and the rest

of the workers just plug along. The greatest return for your efforts is in

motivating and improving the performance of this 80% of your work force.


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Grow model for coaching

GoalsReality

OptionsWrap UpThese questions form the basis of acoaching session. They are suggestedquestions only. It is important to adaptthem to your own style. Each coachingsessi

Documents

Coaching and Mentoring Guide