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CrucialConversationsFacilitatorGuide IntroductionThiscoursewilltakeapproximately2hours,ortwo,1hoursessions.Itwillbesplitbetweendiscussingconceptsandpracticingingroups.(First15)BeontheLookout
2.LookFor:a. HighStakesb. OpposingOpinionsc. StrongEmotion
3.Howdowenormallyapproach/reacttotheseconversations?4.Whatchoicesdowehave?
(16-30Minutes)Sucker’sChoicevs.TheSharedPoolofMeaning1. Sucker’sChoice
a. ThechoicebetweenFightorFlight:i. Fight
1. Controlling2. Labeling3. Attacking
ii. Flight1. Masking2. Avoiding3. Withdrawing
2. CrucialConversationModel,andtheSharedPoolofMeaning(DiscussHandout)
3.SharedPoolofMeaning a.Collaborationwechangeintoproblemsolvingpeople b.WeLetGoofourStories(Emotion)andbecomerational4.Practice:RolePlay#1
CrucialConversationsFacilitatorGuide (31-60Minutes)MasterMyStories
4. StartwithHeart,whenconversationsbecomecrucial,3problems: a. OurMotivesdegradefirst,intoUnhealthyGoals(DiscussChart):
b.HeartProblems(AsEmotionsEscalate)
1.)WeBecomeBlindtoOurOwnRole2.)WeLimitOurChoices
c.WhatWeCanDo 1.)HoldStoriesLightly
2.)Ask/KnowExactlyWhatYouWantandWhatYouDon’tWanta.)ComplexThoughtsCounterourAdrenalin(fightorflightnature)b.)WeGetUnstuck
d.Practice1.)PlayMotherandDaughterArgumentVideo(1:05)
a.)Whathappened?b.)HowcanCrucialConversationschangethisconversation?c.)Whatwerethemotives?d.)Howcouldmotiveschangetheresultsofaconversation?
(61-90Minutes)MakeItSafe
5. BeHonesta. Youcan’tbetoohonest.b. Ifit’ssafe,youcantalkaboutanythingwithalmostanyone.c. Video:SalomehDiaz(6:27)d. Ourstoriescreateouremotions,andwecreateourstoriese. Wetakeinformationinthroughoureyes~80%f. Weneedtoholdourstorieslightly,thenengageourbrainsrationallyg. VictorFranco:inMan’sSearchforMeaning“Wheneverythingistakenfromusthereis
onethingthatremains--thepowertochooseone’sattitudeinanygivencircumstance.”
CrucialConversationsFacilitatorGuide 6. RolePlay#27.ContrastingStatements a.StepOut,UseContrastStatementstoFixMisunderstanding 1.)Use“Don’t”StatementstoExpressWhatYouDidNotIntend 2.)Use“Do”StatementstoConfirmRespectandClarify b.RolePlay#3PracticeContrastStatementsWithaPartner(91-120Minutes)8.StoriesaretheMasterKeyMutualPurpose
a.MutualRespect1.) Youmightnothaveany2.)GetSome!3.)MutualPurpose
9.PathstoSuccess a.Lookforearlywarningsigns b.Stepoutofthecontextoftheconversation,re-establishsafety
1.)YouCareAboutTheirBestInterests 2.)YouCareAboutThem
c.StepBackIntoConversation d.AskYourself,“WhatdoIreallywant?” e.SafetyistheFoundationofTrust f.StepOutofContent,RebuildMutualTrust,thenReturntoContent
10.RolePlay#311.ConversationPlanner:talkthrougheachlineitem
1.)SeeParticipantsGuideandworkwithapartnertoplanthisconversation
Mission:“EmpowerPeopletocreatequalityconversations&therebyimprovethequalityoftheirlife.”1. Welcome:FirefightersFirstCulture
a. Competenceb. Excellencec. Positivity