Lecture 10 Self Communication

8/6/2019 Lecture 10 Self Communication

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4 ASPECTS OF THE SELF

1. Self-Concept

2. Self-Awareness

3. Self-Esteem

4. Self-Disclosure





1. Self-Concept

The image of who you are;

It¶s how you perceive yourself; your feelings andthoughts about your strengths, weaknesses, abilitiesand limitations.

Sources of self-concept: ± Others image of you ; How do significant others

see me ?

± Social comparisons you make between yourself and others; How do I compare to my peers?

± Cultural teachings ; How do I fulfill the teachings of my culture?

± Your evaluation anfd interpretation : How do Ievaluate my own feelings and behaviors?





2. Self-Awareness

The Four Selves in the Johari Window

i. Open Self

Information, behaviors, attitudes, feelings,desires, motivations, ideas, etc. that you know

about yourself and th

at oth

ers also know. Your open self will vary in size depending on the

individuals with whom you are dealing.

The size of the open self varies from person toperson.

ii. The Blind Self

Information about yourself that others know butyou don¶t.

Eg. Body odour,

habit of scratc

hing your nose,etc.



iii. The Unknown Self

the part of yourself in which you and the othersdo not know

this is probably because you and the others areunconscious or unnoticed about it.

iv. The Hidden Self

information about yourself that you know butkeep it as a secret from other people

3 types of people based on how much they

disclose about themselves: Overdisclosers

Underdisclosers

Selective disclosers



How to increase your self-awareness?

i. Dialogue with Yourself

List out your own qualities (both positive and negative), you

perceived strengths and weaknesses, your attitudes, etc.ii. Listen

Listen other peoples¶ opinions about you and look at how theyreact / treat you

iii. Reduce Your Blind Self

Ask people about what they think of you that you don¶t knowiv. See Your Different Selves

You behave differently to different people therefore their judgments on you also vary depending on how you treat them

To learn more about yourself try to see yourself through theeyes of many people

v. Increase Your Open Self

You would learn more about yourself by revealing more toothers

It is also an opportunity to develop a close and meaningfulrelationship with others if you disclose yourself to them



3. Self-Esteem

Personal self-esteem refers to the way you feel aboutyourself

It reflects the value you place on yourself

Group self-esteem refers to your evaluation of your being a member of a particular racial or ethnic group

Group self-esteem affects your personal self-esteem. If you view the group in which you belong positively, you are

more likely to view yourself positively. Vice versa.

Why is self-esteem important? Success breeds success.

Positive self-esteem makes a person more productive andultimately more successful in life, in relationships, in career,etc.



How to boost up your self-esteem?

Attack your Self-Destructive Beliefs

± self-destructive beliefs are those things that youbelieve damage your self-esteem and prevent youfrom building meaningful and productiverelationships

± eg. Saying: I am stupid, hopeless, boring, etc.

± One way to attack self-destructive beliefs is byidentifying the drivers

Engage in Self-Affirmation

± remind yourself of your successes from time to

time ± focus on your good deeds, strengths, and positive

qualities

± look at the good relationships you have with friends or relatives

± concentrate on your potentials not limitations





4. Self-Disclosure

Self-Disclosure is communication in which you reveal

information about yourself

It includes your overt statements, slips of the tongue,or unconscious nonverbal signals.

It concerns your personal feelings, thoughts,

behaviors.



Factors influencing self-disclosure:

Group Size ± self-disclosure occurs more in small groups than in large

groups (especially in a group of two persons)

± reasons: with one listener you can attend carefully to theperson¶s responses. You could continue to self-disclose if you feel that the other person is supportive.

Liking

± you are more likely to disclose to people you like and youtrust

Receiver Relationship

± you are more likely to disclose yourself in:

� temporary rather than permanent relationships� competitive rather than noncompetitive relationships

� in-group members rather than non-group members



Age ± you are more likely to disclose to people who are about the

same age as you

Competence

± competent communicators reveal about themselves morethan less competent communicators

± maybe because they have more self-confidence or theyhave more positive things to say about themselves

Personality

± highly sociable and extroverted people self-disclose morethan those who are less sociable and more introverted.

± Those with high self-esteem self-disclose more than thosewith low self-esteem

Topics

± the more personal and the more negative the topic, the lesslikely you are to self-disclose



Culture

± different cultures view self-disclosure differently.

± Some cultures may regard secrecy as very important

± Eg. Americans self-disclose more than Middle Easterns

Gender

± gender plays a role in how much you self-disclose

± for eg. researches showed :

� men disclose less than women� sex role rather than biological gender accounts for the

differences in self-closure



Think before you self-disclose

Weigh the rewards and dangers of itcarefully

Rewards of self-disclosure: Understanding of Own Behavior

Coping Abilities

Improve Communication

Establishing a Meaningful Relationship

Dangers of self-disclosure:

Personal or social rejection

Material losses

Intrapersonal Difficulties



Remember, not all societies and cultures

view self-disclosure in the same way

Examine the specific culture and its rules. Following them brings approval and violating them

brings disapproval.

Remember that self-disclosure is irreversible

You can¶t take it back once you told people aboutyourself. They would already make a conclusion

about you.



Guidelines for Self-Disclosing

Consider the motivation for self-disclosure

Consider the appropriateness of self-

disclosure� Context (time and place) and relationship between

speaker and listener

Consider the disclosures of the other person

Consider the possible burdens / problems

self-disclosure might entail



Guidelines for responding to self-

disclosure

Use effective and active listening skills

Support and reinforce the discloser

Maintain confidentiality

Don¶t use the disclosures as weapons

Documents

Lecture 10 Self Communication