Rapping Professor Intro Rap

I’m The Rapping Professor and this is what I do,Bringing special songs and poems and raps to you!Wo shi shuochang jiaoshou, yao gen nimen jiang.Wo xie geci, nimen hui xinshang.Whether private, corporate or conference event,I’m sure you’ll agree I’m money well-spent!Not only do I perform live for you,I’ll record your song on DVD too.I’m quite confident about entertaining clients,I’ve got this rapping art down to a science.If you’d like more information, check out one of my flyers,And let’s have a chat how to take your event HIGHER.

The Rapping Professor

Makin ‘Em Feel Special Through Song & Rap

PSA Presentation 22 Sept, 2006Matthew Bloomfield The Rapping Professor

10 minutes: My Background

10 minutes: The Anatomy of a Rap

10 minutes: Write and Perform Your Own!

Part I: Background

Where it all began…

Mom & Dad

Example of Matthew’s Messages RapLamar’s Valentine Rap

©1985 Matthew’s MessagesThis here’s the Boulder Rapper and I’m out on the loose.My man’s name is Lamar but you can call him ‘The Juice.’With him at the table, Amy so fine,Wanted to send a funny Valentine.So she called on the Rapper, set a date for today,Said my assignment is to entertain ‘T.K.’Here we go, Amy. Look what you done did,A surprise for Lamar, aka ‘The Kid.’He grew up and was raised in the town of Manhattan, But it wasn’t til later that New York started rappin’.Attended a college in the groovy Northeast;Need a fine education to tame the beast.Came to Colorado for a summer raft;But you’re still sitting here—musta never left!A lot of people from the East come here feeling kinda cocky.Chalk up another victim to the lure of the Rockies.The view is so fine when you get up high,Whether you’re skiing in the mountains or learning to fly.When you come from the air, down to the ground,You can find him pumping iron or kayaking around.Why just the other day, he was trying to book a bookie.Sucker tried to bribe him with a chocolate chip cookie.I only got time for one more line:Just enough to say: ‘Happy Valentine.’

Example of Song SpoofUNIMPEACHABLE

© 1998 Matthew BloomfieldUnimpeachable, that’s what you are.Unimpeachable, too bad Ken Starr.Though Our Leader, you have lied to usAbout pleasures in the Oral Orifice,Never before, has someone been moreUnimpeachable, in many ways.And though it’s perjury, we all have bad days.That’s why, Linda Tripp, it’s incredible,Your loose-lipped words became so spreadable.Good thing Clinton’s unimpeachable too.

Unimpeachable, or so they say.Your reputation’s stained by DNA.One-to-one the intern ratioWhen Monica performs ****…Unimpeachable, that’s what you are.Unimpeachable, have a cigar.That’s why, Hilary, it’s incredibleThat Billy’s Willy is so doggone edible.Good thing he is unimpeachable too.

Sample of a Tribute Poem (My Dad)Saul Turns Fourscore! (2005)

1 Who’d have thought we’d all be gathered here forThe grand event of Saul’s birthday—fourscore?!Can it really be that on June 30 my beloved Dad turned 80?!As I look out over this crew at Montebello,I see that I’m one pretty darned lucky fellow.2 Time has a way of moving in pockets.And often appears to crawl at snail’s pace.But time’s mystery’s deep—can’t unlock it.A glance in the mirror and decades dissolve, without a trace.3 When you look back at your life, do you ever inquire,Whether you’re the main actor, or just a pawn?Did young Sollie really his own path inspire:Taking streetcars to movies, selling papers at dawn?4 Would it have mattered if I’d not been a child of the Depression?If I’d not been born in Montreal?Does valor ever get the better part of discretion?Have I played a major role in my fate at all?

Some of my past ‘day jobs’

• Trilingual Document Editor at United Nations in New York

• Technical Writer and Voice Talent for Medical Board Prep Company

• Language and Intercultural Trainer for Cendant Corp

• English Instructor at University of Macau• English Director for Saybot LLC Shanghai

(my ‘dream job’)

Recent Creative Jobs

• TV acting: OK Xintiandi, YiXiaoChengMing

• MC events: Philips Corp Annual Party, Canadian Consulate Canada Day...

• Voiceovers: SMG (hum), IBM, Siemens, AT&T, BaBaiBan Dept Store…

• Rapping Professor gigs…

Doing Creative Jobs in Shanghai is HARD!

• poor planning & event management

• constant changes & last-minute cancellations

• technical problems--mic doesn’t work etc. Shikumen: ‘This isn’t a karaoke bar!’

• have to remind people for pay, demos etc.

The Market for Rapping Prof’s Services

Think about it:

Every day in every major city…

Part II: The Anatomy of a Rap

Sample Rapping Professor WorkCanada Day Rap

© 2006 The Rapping Professor

I’m the Rapping Professor and I’m here to say‘Welcome Everyone!’ to Canada Day!Je suis le ‘Prof de Rap’, je me presente aujourd’hui.Bienvenue a tous, la Fete du Canada est ici.Wo shi shuochang jiaoshou, gei nimen ting yi xie.Huanying dao zheli lai, JiaNaDa DuLi Jie.

↑multilingual self-intro: English… français…中文↑

↓introduce/set up the event↓Canadians and friends, we’re all in the mixTo celebrate the first of July two thousand six! So tip your caps, here’s to your health and mineAdieu one thirty-eight, bienvenue one thirty-nine!With this great crowd on hand, one thing’s a sure bet:This Canada Day party’s the best one yet!

Canada Day Rap…cont.The purpose of the celebration is twofold:To welcome friends of Canada, new and old.And an opportunity to promote far and wideCanadian commerce and culture in Shanghai.

↑purpose of the event↑

↓summary of activities↓We’ve already enjoyed an afternoon of events:Business Fair, Canada Booth, Children’s Corner tents.And sporting events were organized for one and all.There was wacky golf and soccer and basketball. Hope you’ve enjoyed the music, raffles and speeches.A very full day; all we’re missing is beaches!

Canada Day Rap…cont.It’s time to give thanks to all our volunteers,If not for them, none of this great stuff would be here!They take care of all the details which go unseenThis event doesn’t just happen—it’s a result of the team!Please put your hands together for all that they do;Volunteers, please accept a big warm THANK YOU!Adam Allan Elizabeth Gina KimTien Leane Sandy Sasha and TT…

↑thank the volunteers by name↑↓thank the

organizers↓Much of the credit for everything you see Goes to the Canadian Consul and CCBC.The Consul is our political wing,Handling matters like visas and all kinds of things. The staffing rotates every two or four years,And to our outgoing staff we raise up a cheer.Were it not for their help, we’d all be in frenzy.Big props for the team led by Robert McKenzie.

Canada Day Rap…cont.The CCBC is like our Chamber of Commerce.The Canada-China Council is good for business!Of course we’d be remiss if we left out the fourWho gave so much time, energy and more:Director Richard Choi, Connie, Vivian and MaggiePut this party together at the CCBC.

↑thank key staff by name↑

↓thank Board of Directors by name↓And the Board of Directors, the ones to rememberAre elected by us CCBC members:Stephen DeKuyper, Annouk LeDuc, Joel Murphy,John McDonald, Kevin Sui, June Foo, David Nagy,Mark Ceolin, Derreck Folmer, Alain Gendron,Murray King, Laurence Nutting and David Nicholson.

Canada Day Rap…cont.Many thanks to our sponsors who provided the doughTo get this party humming, made it a go.We can’t mention them all, would take too long by far.So how ‘bout the three who are Canadian Star?Their contributions go beyond and above:Air Canada, Losberger and Shanghai Racquet Club.

Mention key sponsors by name. After all, without them…

THERE’S NO EVENT!

Canada Day Rap…cont.

There’s something special with Canadians;

You somehow have the feeling you’re in among friends.

Think how lucky we are, in this time and space.

As Shanghai and China take a historical place.

↑commentary/perspective↑

↓conclusion/audience participation part ↓So join the Rapping Professor, as together we say:

‘We love you Canada, Nous vous aimons

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!’

Part III: YOUR turn to rap!

First, you gotta choose a cool rap name…

Sample Rap Names

• Freshie Wang• MC Mike• Cool E• Ice Liu• Gangsta Gang• RJC (your initials)• Def Diane• DJ Zhang

• Da ‘Jeff’inator• Steve on the mic• Ghetto Shen• Homeboy/girl (name)• Brutha/sista (name)• Your nickname

(mine’s ‘Boomsy’)• Make up your own

(The Rapping Professor)

Format of your rap

My name is ______ ______ (Fill in your ‘rap name’, like ‘Freshie Wang’)

I like to _____ _____ (Fill in something you like to do, that rhymes, like ‘sing a song’)

At PSA, we talk all day, and never _____ _____ (Another phrase that rhymes, like ‘get it wrong.’)

Rapping Professor Grammy Awards

And the winner for best rap name is…

And the winner for best rap is…

Yo! Thanks for listening!

What to do next:Stick around for Jeff’s talk, of course!After that:• Talk to Warwick about PSA events, membership etc.• Talk to Jeff about his Explorer3 Life programs

• Talk to the Rapping Professor about your next event, marketing & investing opportunities, or where to buy bandanas…

• Ignore all of us and talk to that cute guy/girl you saw across the room

• Stick around and enjoy snacks and chatting• Go to a better party somewhere else (invite me!)