TX Citizen 6.18.15

VOLUME FOURI S S U E 2 506 .18 .15

VOLUME FOURI S S U E 2 506 .18 .15

Nick Rogers Interviews Lark Mason, that Bow-Tie Wearing Guy from Antiques Roadshow

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table of contents

11

8CitizenSoundcheckThe ONLY guide of i ts kindfor the NB/SM Metroplex!

4Due ProcessCity Hall Attempts to WalkAway from Towing Fiasco

7Feature StoryLark Mason has come to town,and we got the interview!

12

3 1st WordBig Gay Sunday on the Plaza

6 On Occasion A Farberer Fathers Day!

Last WordColby on FIFA 15

Ask a MexicanGustavo of fends intwo languages.

The County sMost Wanted

Look Mommy!Daddys in the paper!

Freeman on Sports Running Down the Championships

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Get to Know Your City CouncilOn June 13, a bunch of folks gathered at the downtown gazebo in support of something they called Gods Marriage, which they define as a union between 1 Man + 1 Woman. While very big on rules that apply to other people, this group went ahead and hung a banner on the gazebo to promote their political position, even though thats a strict no-no.

Naturally, the local gay coalition mobilized, and the next day a whole pack of (mostly) lesbians hit the plaza with fun signs made with glitter and rainbows and whatnot, in support of something they call Marriage Equality. The fact that the original demonstration was quite obviously directed at local polygamists was apparently lost on the gay.

Anyway, City Councils entire Q contingent was on hand, as District Two Councillesbian Aja Edwards, who put the event together, and District Four Councilgay Chris Monceballez both came out to hold signs and look good doing it.

This got us to thinking. At the rate gays are being elected to City Council, theyll wield a majority in just three years. We imagine New Braunfels becoming a Mecca for Homo-Tourism, which would result in cleaner bars, better restaurants, and shirtless firefighters. Dont knock that.

Then we kept thinking, and it occurred to us that nows a good a time as any to breakdown your City Council demographics. After all, you should know your

civic masters. An informed electorate and whatnot. Here

goes. Each Councilmember represents about 14.2857143% of the whole bunch of them. We rounded up.

New Braunfels City Council Demographic Breakdown

28.6% Female71.5% Male

14.3% African-American14.3% Latino71.5% Caucasian (Comprehensive datanot available. Unclear how many of this

group actually identify as African-American.)

28.6% Gay71.5% Probably Not Gay

14.3% Jewish14.3% Bald/Mostly Bald14.3% Full Cowboy Hat Wearing Texan85.7% Shill for Chamber of Commerce/4-B57.2% Brain Damaged42.9% Delusional28.6% Clueless42.9% Old14.3% Midget57.2% Narcissist14.3% Sideshow Freak

That ought to hold you for a while. Next week were going to have a lil sumpin that just might make your blood boil.

\m/

Mike ReynoldsPublisher/Editor-in-Chief

Chase Cochran contributed to this column, and should be named as a co-defendant in any litigation filed as a result of its publication.

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Due ProcessWITH NICK ROGERS

UPDATE: Towing CaseThe Third Court of Appeals is not the proper venue to dismiss a lawsuit against the City of New Braunfels, argue three towing companies who filed suit against the City two years ago.

Attorneys for Comal Towing, JJ Towing and Pro Care Wrecker Service filed their response to the Citys motion asking the Appeals Court to dismiss the case as moot.

The suit was brought by the three towing operators in response to the Citys 2012 decision to change the way it rewards non-consent towing operations within New Braunfels. Prior to that decision, several towing companies shared those duties on a rotating basis. The City decided to alter that arrangement by awarding a contract to only one company. Late into the decision-making process, however, City Council decided to award contracts to four companies instead.

The companies who sued the City said they did not apply for the single contract because it would be too onerous to be the only towing company responsible for all non-consent tows. The crux of their argument is that Council violated competitive bidding laws by not notifying them that it had altered the system to allow four companies, especially since some of the companies did not meet the Citys minimum criteria set down in its Request for Proposals. As well, the companies argued that Council violated the Texas Open Meetings Act (TOMA).

While the case has lingered without a ruling within the Court of Appeals for more than a year, the towing contracts at issue expired on December 31. The City argued that since the previous towing contracts had expired, and since the City decided on May 1 that it will return to a rotation schedule, the point of the suit is now moot and should be dismissed.

Since the three companies were not asking for financial relief, but only that the City void the offensive system and reissue bids, the City said in its motion to Appeals that the relief sought is to prevent and control future action, not for anything allegedly lost in the past. The future action is now dictated by the ordinance

which moots their claims for allegedly not following competitive bidding requirements.

However, the towing operators argue that since the Citys appeal regards a jurisdictional ruling, the Third Court of Appeals cannot dismiss the case.

This interlocutory appeal was initiated by appellants (the City) after the trial court denied appellants plea to the jurisdiction, the companies argue. Because the plea was denied, appellees could proceed to trial on their various claims against appellants.

After Comal Towing, JJ Towing and Pro Care Wrecker Service filed their lawsuit in 2013, the City argued that the court had no jurisdiction to hear the lawsuit against it. However, Judge Dib Waldrip disagreed and ruled that the court was the only proper venue for relief. City Council voted to appeal Waldrips ruling.

In the response, the three towing operators argue that Appeals can certainly dismiss the jurisdictional appeal, but only the trial court can dismiss the case itself. Any resulting final judgment must be issued from the trial court as it is the court with continuing jurisdiction over appellees claims, they argue.

To buffet their claim, attorneys for the operators quoted the Texas Rules of Appeals: While an appeal from an interlocutory order is pending, the trial court retains jurisdiction of the case.

The towing operators sought no financial relief in the lawsuit but only that the City end the non-consent towing practice that prompted the suit, and allow all operators to resubmit bids for the contracts. However, while the practice is no longer in place, this is only because the contracts had expired and not because the City had canceled the process.

In the meantime, the towing operators have been wracking up thousands of dollars in legal fees, which will certainly be a point of contention for the three operators.

Appellees also request that the Court grant them such other and further relief to which they may be justly and equitably entitled, they state in their response motion.

Nick Rogers covers courts & crime for the TX Citizen. 234 8 G ru e ne L a k e D r. Su i t e B in the Vi l lage 8 3 0 . 64 3 . 13 09

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Fathers DayDuring the time period in which I grew up, I lived in what was considered a traditional household. I had five siblings, a tired mother, and a father who worked a blue collar job in a non-descript factory that made non-descript whatchamadoodles. He had also fought in two wars. When I asked him what he did during the wars, he would only say, Shot people.

Like many fathers for the time, my dad was the silent type who usually only spoke in barely audible mutterings punctuated by the occasional curse word. None of us were ever quite sure who he was talking to. Some theories posited said Dad was talking to ghosts, others said it was to various Gods of Labor, still others believed he had an imaginary friend whom he didnt get on so well with.

As it usually goes with silent fathers, my dad was not the kind of guy to tell his sons he loved them, although he would tell my sisters.

Often people of my age will note that their parents never said, I love you. These statements are usually followed with, But I knew that they loved me.

However, it must be explained that some parents never tell their kids they love them because the parents are ########. Others just have difficulty expressing feelings.

Luckily, though, Dad was very affectionate, the type who would pat your head and smile when you came into the room.

This was fairly normal for the era. Males usually didnt tell other males they loved them unless they were drunk. This wasnt because saying I love you was effeminate, but because it was, well, awkward. In fact, the only man I knew who would tell other males he loved them was the creepy priest who would too quickly volunteer to lead the schools sports teams in prayer. He always showed up to the locker rooms uncomfortably early and would leave way too late.

But, I digress.Dad did try once to verbally express his

feelings for me and my brothers.He had taken the whole family camping.

His goal was to hunt for our food and do the caveman thing. Dads ideas of hunting were, frankly, strange. He believed in hunting like our forefathers did by throwing rocks at the animals. Fortunately, mom understood her husband and brought along enough food to sustain us because, as she expressly stated, she had no intention in cooking possums and other vermin too slow or ill to get away.

We ate our ration of beans and eggs silently around the campfire. Dad was acting nervous and agitated, as if he wanted to crawl away. He broke the silence by clearing his throat. We all looked at him through the fire.

I just wanted you all to know, umm, that I, you know, love you all.

Everything stopped. Even the fire stopped crackling.

Did you guys hear what I said? he asked. I love you.

We were stunned. We all thought this was his way of telling us that he was going to die and that the camping trip was one last Farberer outing. We all started to cry.

Dad looked confused. What the hell, he said. I just wanted to tell you that I love you.

We began to wail.Stop it Stan, Mom said. Youre

scaring the children.He went back to muttering to himself. We

sighed with relief because we were back in familiar territory. Mom said Dads awkward moment was the result of his following advice from that damn Readers Digest.

That magazine gave your father all kinds of strange ideas, she said.

Lord, how times have changed. I often tell my sons and daughters that I love them, particularly if they are with a group of friends, which maximizes their embarrassment.

But despite my fathers verbal affection issues, my siblings and I grew up fine and dandy:

After joining a hippy terrorist group in the 60s, brother Stan Jr. went on to become a CEO of a major American bank whose failure helped catapult the global economic collapse of 2008.

Sister Nancy realized her dream of becoming a bare-knuckles fighter at the docks for tips.

My brother Randy founded a religious commune for people who believe Jesus was actually a space robot. He now goes by the name of Rain Cloud Wolf Tree, or whatever.

Another sister, Karen, is a dictator of a small African nation.

And then there is Todd, leader of the Farberer crime syndicate.

As you can see, we all grew up winners and leaders. Yes, we are weird and dangerous, but you cant argue with success.

For Dad, then, I want to say Happy Fathers Day and mumble mutter hells bells mutter mumble.

TXCITIZEN.COM 7

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If you watch Antiques Roadshow, then you recognize Lark Mason as the bowtie-clad expert on Asian art. If you do not watch Antiques Roadshow, then Lark Mason is the bowtie-clad expert on Asian art.

More than that, though, Lark Mason is the Big Kahuna of antiques. He has worked for Sothebys and with several museums. Lark is also the founder of iGavelauctions.com, an extremely successful online auction house, and owns Lark Mason Associates, a firm that advises, evaluates and does consignments for those who wish to buy and/or sell antiques.

Mason already has an office in New York and now he will have a presence in New Braunfels, as well.

New York is far away and so many of the things we encounter are not in New York or the North East, but are in the Central, South or West Coast of the United States, so this provides us a base from which we can operate, he said.

Of course, having children and grandchildren in Texas is also a motivating factor for Lark and Erica Mason, his wife and partner. In fact, a warehouse and processing center has been built on his sons property near Canyon Lake. Already, staff members are processing, photographing and cataloging materials.

On top of everything else, we think New Braunfels is a beautiful location and we love Texas, he said. Our goal is to spend about half our time here and half our time in New York, maybe even a little more time here.

Dont misunderstand, though. The Masons New Braunfels office is not a shop, but a location to meet with private clients within a converted 19th century barn.

As an adviser, I will give options on where someone can sell something that may not be through my company, Lark said. It may not even involve selling, but valuing something.

Although not an antiques shop, there was some third century Korean pottery there from a client who wanted to sell. If you didnt know better, which I dont, you could assume that the rustic-looking pottery was Native American in origin. The pottery, Lark explained, was used for storing and washing rice. There was even a small cup with a handle that he said was used for scooping and measuring the rice.

One of the most important factors in understanding antiques, he said, is to ask why someone would have created a particular object. This isnt always easy. Many of us have certainly browsed through an antique shop and found some weirdness that cannot be explained.

Its exciting for me when I run across something that is a puzzle, Lark said. I try to put myself in the shoes of the person who created it and the time when it was created. I try to recreate the process and the inspiration, and the situation that existed that allowed the object to be created. People didnt just spontaneously say, Im going to create this thing. There is a thought process experts go through when we try to decide whether something is original to the period or a later version. A lot of what I do is involved in that kind of discernment.

Sometimes you still dont get the answer and it remains a puzzle, he said.

Regardless of era, the motive for creation has always been the same: to provide a function. Certainly some of objects are more beautiful than others, but they all were developed for a purpose, such as porcelain.

Lark explained how the development of porcelain in China took hundreds of years, coming into fruition in the 11th and 12th centuries. The reason for porcelain, he said, was that it was useful for creating miniature versions of a deceaseds favorite people, animals and things. These would be buried with the person so that the essence of the items could travel into the next the world. (This was certainly preferable to the previous method of burying servants and wives alive). When the West was able to successfully produce porcelain itself by the 18th century, it did so not only because of its beauty, but because of the superior quality over what came before.

At the time, the value of porcelain wasnt far removed from the value of gold because you had something that was beautiful and durable, as opposed to using pewter dishes and earthenware containers that would break and chip, Lark said.

Of course, where there is value there are fakes, and one of the roles of the expert is to separate the gems from the detritus. For a variety of reasons, determining fakes is not cut and dry. There are fakes (which are meant to deceive), there are copies (which artists may do to learn from the masters) and there are pieces which pay homage to an earlier creator. The latter is especially true in Asia, Lark explained, where artisans would copy a piece and sign it with the original creators name, an honorific mark, as a sign of respect.

Lark said that to judge whether something is real goes back to the expert trying to get into the artisans head.

On one level you could have something that looks the same, but the materials are not the same, he said. The way you discern that is by going back to asking how it was made or if it was made the same way. Or the materials are a little bit more refined than the original materials. Or, the density is different than in the original. A lot of times, fakes are copied from an image, so such things as volume or weight are not captured. An object thus might not make sense from a utility standpoint. Thats why its important to go back and put yourself in the place of the person who created and designed the object and ask, Why would someone design something with such and obvious flaw? If you dont get a good answer, thats when the red flag goes up.

Lark has some valuable advice for those wishing to begin collecting:

First of all, youve got to have some sort of interest in the area you want to be involved in because if you dont have interest, youre not going to do whats necessary to find the right specialist, the right sources to get the best quality items. Seek out the top advice and get the best objects one can afford to get.

To make appointments or to contact Lark, go to larkmason.com or larkmasonassociates.com. If you are interested in owning something from antiquity, make a visit to igavelauctions.com.

Lark2 By Nick Rogers

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Freemanon SportsFreemanon Sports WITH BRANT FREEMANWITH BRANT FREEMAN

Double Championship WeekIts trophy week for two of pro sports Big 4: the NHL and the NBA. Two leagues who each play 82 game regular seasons, who each send 16 teams to the playoffs, every round decided in a best-of-seven format, each sport featuring a net for a goal. The Chicago Blackhawks of the NHL have already claimed hockeys Holy Grail (the Stanley Cup), beating Tampa Bay on Monday night to win the series in six games. The NBA Finals were decided Tuesday, with Golden State taking home the title.

This is to say its a damn fun week as the next several will be filled with hype and speculation (football), dog days of summer (baseball), and roster overhaul (basketball). Aside from the Womens World Cup (which is the Americans to win), the next major hardware in professional team sports wont be awarded until November (to the winner of the World Series). So with trophies on the brain for the time being, lets look at each of the four major sports and its champions since the year 2000.

In the NFL, nine teams have hoisted the Lombardi Trophy since the turn of the millennium, none more than the New England Patriots who have won four Super Bowls during that timeframe (no one else has won more than two). In the NBA, there have only been seven teams to win a title since 2000 and that includes either Golden State (whose previous and only other title came in 1975) or Cleveland (which had never won an NBA title before). The Larry OBrien leaderboard is topped by the Los Angeles Lakers (Five titles) followed by the San Antonio Spurs (with four) and the Miami Heat (with three). In baseball, like football, there have been nine franchises that have won championships led by Boston and San Francisco who have three each. The NHL has had the highest number of champions since the year 2000 (with 10) and Chicago has more than any other team, skating around the ice with Lord Stanleys Cup three times.

In which sport is it toughest to win a title? Consider that in the NFL, seven of the last 15 Super Bowl winners were Wild Card teams, teams that didnt have great regular seasons but got hot at the right time. The best teams dont always win (such as the 9-7 Giants slaying the 16-0 Patriots in 2007), and the unpredictability of the NFL is what makes it so great. In MLB, there were seven different champions in the first seven years after the turn of the century, leading us to believe there was just as much parity on the diamond as there was on the gridiron. In the seven seasons since, two teams have accounted for five titles (Boston and San Francisco) and last years Giants won a pedestrian 88 games in the regular season. The 2001 Seattle Mariners won 28 more games than the 2014 Giants and didnt even reach the World Series. Just reaching the playoffs makes a team a contender in baseball.

In hockey, top seeds routinely get upset and from 2000 to 2012 (barring the 2005 lockout) there were 10 different champions making Chicagos recent run that much more impressive.

So of the four major sports, the toughest to win a title in is the NBA. You HAVE to have the absolute best players to reach the top of the mountain as parity is virtually non-existent in pro basketball. Since the year 2000, 13 of the previous 15 NBA Finals have been won by either Shaquille ONeal, Tim Duncan, Kobe Bryant, Dwayne Wade or LeBron James. Thats it. 15 NBA Finals, and if you didnt have one of those FIVE players, odds are you didnt hang a banner in the rafters the following season.

Enjoy watching the champagne popping and the parades this week, especially if you happen to be a fan of the team basking in championship glory. As you can see, those celebrations can be few and far between.

Brant Freeman is a seasoned local sportscaster, serving as the radio voice of Texas State University, hosting television coverage of Texas State Athletics and delivering the goods as a reporter for major pro and collegiate sporting events in the greater San Antonio area for over a decade.

MOST WANTED

$300REWARD

COMAL COUNTY S

MEDELLIN, JESSE RODRIGUEZMale 507 200 lbsDOB: 01/01/1976CHARGE: Possession of a controlled substance pg 1 under 1 gram and theft of property under $1500 with 2 or more previous convictions

FRIESENHAHN,RALPH ALFREDMale 600 220 lbsDOB: 07/14/1952CHARGE: Driving while intoxicated 3rd or more

GARZA,ARNULFO ELI IIMale 511 205 lbsDOB: 11/26/1973CHARGE: Theft of property over $1500 under $20,000

KILGORE,JOSHUA GRAHAMMale 600 172 lbsDOB: 08/20/1993CHARGE: Failure to appear- burglary of habitation and credit card or debit card abuse

DELACRUZ,ADAMMale 601 160 lbsDOB: 11/04/1974CHARGE: Motion to revoke probation- possession controlled substance

MARIN, ROBERT SANCHEZ

Male 509 175 lbsDOB: 12/14/1982

CHARGE: Theft of property over $1500

under $20,000 enhanced

MEJIA,MARCO FABIAN

Male 506 210 lbsDOB: 03/07/1984

CHARGE: Forgery government instrument

SCHEFFLER,GLYNN GARY

Male 600 180 lbsDOB: 08/27/1957

CHARGE: Violation of conditions of bond-

driving while intoxicated 3rd or more

VALDEZ,VERONICA

Female 504 200 lbsDOB: 08/31/1974

CHARGE: Two charges of theft of

property under $1500 with two or more

previous convictions

MERCADO,EZEQUIEL

Male 506 180 lbsDOB: 05/02/1971CHARGE: Driving

while intoxicated 3rd or more and evading

arrest or detention with vehicle

The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act. This is a true and accurate account as of Monday, June 15, 2015 at 8:58 a.m. and may not be current by the time it is read. Do not try to apprehend anyone. These are listings of criminal warrants with the Comal County Sheriff s Office and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the status of each warrant prior to making an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.

FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF COMAL COUNTYS MOST WANTED. Callers will remain anonymous. 830.620.3400 - 24-Hour830.620.3411 - Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm

DIXON,ROMAN DAVIDMale 601 140 lbsDOB: 01/25/1973CHARGE: Failure to appear- burglary of a building and bail jumping/ fail to appear

ARRESTED


By Gustavo Arellano

Dear Mexican: Im not sure if this is solely an Orange County thing, but as a high school student in SanTana, I cant help but realize that the great majority of rockabilly kids are Mexican. Why is this? Werent the 40s and 50s kind of a bad time for Mexicans?

Chicana con Ganas

Dear Motivated Chicana: Yes y no.

While Mexican-American activists were

fighting for civil rights through lawsuits and

voter registration drives, the young people

were getting into cars, rock n roll and r

n b, and changing their given names from

Consuelo and Jorge to Connie and George,

the better to assimilate. The 40s generations

were pachucos, but more than a few Mexis

became so-called rebels during the 50s and

into the present day. For years, one of my

favorite cinematic nuggets was discovering

that there was a Mexican in the Pharaohs

car club that kidnapped Richard Dreyfuss

character in American Graffitiwe were part

of George Lucas gabacho nostalgia-fest as

a different type of greaser, raza! Of course,

all of that history means little to the current

generation of Mexican rockabillies (call them

chilibillies, por favor), who like the scene

the same reason Mexicans like Morrissey,

lowriders, and oldies-but-goodies: those

subgroups pay strict attention to dress, hair,

music, and gender roles, and romanticize

the past and violence. Hey, at least were not

Civil War Confederate reenactors, who have

no excuse for their fun games other than they

liked people who fought to defend slavery.

A mexicana friend of mine told me that assertiveness is not part of the Mexican, or even Latino, culture and that assertiveness may even be considered rude by Mexican

standards. An example she gave would be a Mexican consenting to go out of their way to do a favor, especially for a gabacho, instead of being assertive and saying No puedo or Im too busy to help. Another example would be a Mexican (legal or otherwise) never questioning a boss request, although a work situation is definitely a different story. As far as you know, is there any truth to Mexicans, or Latino people in general, not feeling comfortable being assertive?

Mijitos Padre aka Mipadres jito

Dear Father of a Son aka My Dads Son:

Ive been hearing this horseshit my entire

life, from Catholic priests saying we should

never look people in the eyes to yaktivists

making excuses for underperforming students

to sociologists going back to the days of

The Children of Sanchez. And I gotta ask:

where are the meek Mexicans? Are they

the millions who have come to this country

undocumented over the past couple of

decades, risking everything for the great

unknown? Is it the field workers, jornaleros,

carwasheros, mineros and canners who

have held some of the fiercest union strikes

your labor history books never bothered to

cover? Is it the DREAMer (or whatever those

secular saints call themselves as nowadays)

storming the halls of their local politicians,

demanding amnesty? Maybe the parents

working nonstop to give their kids a better

future? Or is it those who remain in Mexico,

raising DESMADRE against the corrupt PRI

and PAN duopoly? An unassertive Mexican

is like a non-vendido Mexican Republican

people say they exist, but they dont.

Ask the Mexican at [email protected],

be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano or follow him

on Instagram @gustavo_arellano!

ASK A MEXICAN!

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On the FIFA ScandalGenerally speaking, I choose my own topics when I write. Every so often, though, some request is made by Mike Reynolds, my editor, and because my father taught me its poor form to say no to the guy thats paying you, I always agree. Such was the case this week. Mike sent me a message suggesting that the FIFA scandal would make a good topic. I immediately replied, Can do, Boss! I had no idea what FIFA was or what the scandal entailed, but thats never stopped me before; thats why God invented the internet through his agent Al Gore. A quick Google search later and I learned that FIFA stands for the International Federation of Association Football. I stared at this for a second. I did appear that the organization was named by a dyslexic, but that seemed more like an oddity than a scandal.

Further investigation revealed that, in this case, Football was, in fact, soccer, the organizations name likely working out when one accounted for foreign grammar. Here was a clear outrage, a scandal if ever there was one. Some group (probably European) was trying to trade on Americas favorite sport by renaming soccer.

It did occur to me, however, that this sort of thing has happened before. Its not exactly new to have pretenders to the game of football. If you include soccer (and I guess you have to now) there are four different sports that copy or represent some variation on American football.

American football (the original) is strangely the most sophisticated of the group. I wouldnt call the game overly complex, but it does involve both precise planning and execution. It is perhaps the epitome of what a team sport should be, where players of various specific abilities must be coordinated by the quarterback and coach. The rules are carefully constructed to cover any possible situation, and referees are used to make final decisions. As technology has increased, American football has adapted to allow for complete exactitude on every play.

Alternatively, you have rugby, a British sport that uses something that looks like a football. The similarity seems to end there.

Rugby lacks in sophistication, stuck in the colonial era. The sport doesnt appear to have rules or a discernible goal of any kind. Its likely designed as a physical allegory to imperialism. The person who has the ball (natural resources) is pummeled into submission by any and all of the other players until he gives up the ball. The players then proceed to enact violence upon each other until someone must be taken to the hospital.

Australian Rules football is appropriately named, Australia being a penal colony. It looks exactly like one would expect if a group of criminals developed their own version of American football. For sheer brutality, Australian Rules football outstrips even rugby. The word rules in the name implies that there are some, but its difficult to determine what they are with all the violence going on, much of it seeming to have little relation to the actual game. The referees appear to be completely unfamiliar with the sport or perhaps to have be bribed by both sides to ignore infractions. I suspect Australian Rules football is what American football would look like if you blindfolded the refs.

Finally there is soccer. It appears to have no actual relation to American football except for the name, with soccer using the name football based on the restriction of use of arms in the game. Its no surprise that soccer is popular with Europeans. Even the seemingly arbitrary restriction on the use of arms is a clear anti-Second Amendment jab. In addition, its rules appear to have been decided on by committee and require arbitration between the referees and fans to avoid rioting (when it works). Most games look like they could devolve into the French Revolution at any given moment. Furthermore soccer is typically European in its insistence on egalitarianism over all else. What little physical aptitude is required to play the game can be applied equally by either sex, so there is no particular reason for mens teams or womens teams to be more popular or accomplished. In fact, the American womens team won something once I think which indicates a clear superiority over the American mens soccer team. In short, soccer is the perfect sport for American Democrats who would prefer to be living in Europe anyway.

Addendum:It appears that I may have misunderstood

what the scandal was that Mike was talking about. To be sure that everyone is fully informed let me explain.

FIFA is currently looking at possible criminal indictments for several of the executives within the organization. It appears that bribery and payola of various forms is common within the soccer world, and the American judicial system is just figuring this out.

Im shocked! Shocked!Just to be clear, graft and corruption are

commonplace in most of the world, and what we have here in America is an exception not the rule. In most of the world, people of money and influence are able to control just about anything, and the poor are forced to accept this without recourse. At times the corruption is so endemic that companies have carefully factored it into their business plans. That this sort of thing is unheard of in American is no excuse for our judicial system being so nave. If we expect to be involved in worldwide efforts like FIFA, we can expect to be involved in some business practices that seem unsavory. Im sure Mitt Romney could tell you as much having dealt with the Olympic Committee.

Wow, its difficult to even write that with a straight face. The scandal isnt the surprise here. The surprise is that someone is actually being punished this time. Several other countries have jumped on the bandwagon at this point, but you can bet that the U.S. will not be invited to the next cocktail party hosted by the world elite. They may even be looking for a reason to kick us out of the U.N. Our prosecuting others for this type of corruption when our own system has carefully legitimized it through the use of lobbyists is the height of hypocrisy. Dont misunderstand, there are legitimate reasons why this behavior is illegal, but its not the sort of thing America has ever done anything about before, and if we are going to hold FIFA to this sort of standard, Id like to see us apply it to the U.N. too or at least the Executive and Legislative branches of our own government.

Last WordWith Kelly Colby

You can read more from Kelly Colby at yourfirstshrug.blogspot.com.

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