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The art of
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self-coachingEd BatistaCLASS 1: BEGINNINGS
Class 1
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Beginnings
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Intro 20 minsAn exercise 30 minsCoaching tools 15 minsPartnerships 30 minsLogistics 10 mins
Today’s agenda
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Who am I?Executive coachGSB Lecturer & alumnusLeadLabs, Fellows, Touchy FeelyContributor @HarvardBiz (a book?)
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Workingagreements
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I will…Give you my bestWelcome inputEnd on time
What else would be helpful for you?
Workingagreements
WorkingagreementsI ask you to…
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WorkingagreementsI ask you to…Start on time
WorkingI ask you to…Challenge yourself
agreements
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WorkingI ask you to…Minimizedistractions
agreements
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WorkingI ask you to…Respectconfidentiality
agreements
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WorkingI ask you to…Start on timeChallenge yourselfMinimize distractionsRespect confidentiality
Can we all commit to this?
agreements
Why coachingmatters to me…Started as a clientChanged my view of leadershipImpact on hundreds of students & clients
Why self-coachingdoes, too
<1%6 to 24 monthsHelp people help themselves
So what IScoaching?Not consultingNot diagnosticCoachee owns the agendaCoachee makes the decisions
& self-coaching?Guiding our own growth & development
Not solitary, but self-directedPartners are essentialYou’ll have 2 here
Positive
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psychology
PositivepsychologyStudy of what makes life most worth livingFocused on strengths & weaknessesRobust research to date
Sense of agency We blame ourselvesRisk of social comparisonAvoid triumph & despairGet curious instead
The downside
Joyful learningYerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908)Stress performance up to a pointSome stress increases learningToo much diminishes learning
Joyful learning
Stress
Learning
Joyful learningHans Selye, Université de MontréalEustress & distress
Joyful learning
Stress
Learning
Eustress Distress
Joyful learningJudy WillisTeachers limit stress levels, students learn more
Joyful learning
Stress
Learning
Eustress Distress
Critical to avoid the tipping point
Safety, trust,
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intimacy
CONTEXT Learning,
Awareness,& Behavioral
Change
Experimentation,Risk-Taking,
& Vulnerability
Safety, Trust, Intimacy
Initial Conditions
Safety, trust,intimacyBuilt through relationshipsA critical skill for self-coachingYou’ll practice in here with classmates
Coaching toolsAsk, Listen, Empathize
Coaching toolsAskEdgar Schein, MIT SloanHelp doesn’t always helpWhat’s a better way to offer support?
Modes of inquiry1. Pure inquiry
Open-endedAvoid presumptive questions
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]
Modes of inquiry1. Pure inquiry
2. Diagnostic inquiryFocus & redirectFeelings, motives, actions
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]
Modes of inquiry1. Pure inquiry
2. Diagnostic inquiry3. Confrontational inquiry
Challenge their narrativeIntroduce new ideas & hypotheses
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]
Modes of inquiry1. Pure inquiry
2. Diagnostic inquiry3. Confrontational inquiryWe tend to move too quicklyCritical to check our assumptions
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]
Ask better
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questions
Ask betterGet beyond Yes or NoWhat…? & How…? > Why…?More reflection, less defensiveness
questions
Ask betterAvoid leading questionsAdvocacy ≠ coaching
questions
Ask betterA tip…Ask once & stop
questions
Coaching toolsAsk, Listen
Listening skills
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Listening skillsHearing ≠ listeningHow they feel > what you hear
Listening skillsFocused attention > timeCultivate presence
Eye contactNo multi-taskingEliminate distractions
Coaching toolsAsk, Listen, EmpathizeBrené Brown, University of HoustonEdgar Schein, MIT SloanShame & empathy
Shame &Shame = I’m flawed & unworthyEmpathy = The antidote to shame
empathy
Shame &Shame = Creates distanceEmpathy = Creates closeness
empathy
Shame &Seeking help typically triggers shame(or embarrassment or vulnerability)
empathy
Shame &But typical helping responses block empathy1. “Look on the bright side”2. “My problem’s worse!”3. “Here’s some advice”
empathy
Shame &Instead…1. Avoid judgments2. Sense & validate emotions3. Convey understanding (≠ agreement)
empathy
Traps for the coach
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Traps for the coachExcessive pattern recognitionGiving advice prematurelyOverpowering resistance
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]
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Partners
2 people you’ll work with closelyGoal is NOT to find a “perfect match”Goal is to seek similarities AND differencesWaitlisted students partner with each other
Partners
Pre-work for todayIdentify issues you might work on in this class
ProfessionalPersonal
Distill these lists down to 3 items each
Partners
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Course logisticsEverything is on Canvas
Syllabus = Home page & PDFAll readings = PDFs or websitesAssignments = Left & bottom of homeNeed help? Email my faculty assistant
Course logisticsContact me (also on Canvas)
Email/phone/text all fine8am-6pm
GradingWeekly assignments (80%)Final paper (20%)AttendancePass/fail with permission3.45 mean GPA
Written work
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Written work9 weekly assignments (800 word limit)Final paper (2500 word limit)Deadline = Tues @ 9pm
Written workThe content is up to youResponses to course materials & experiencesNo specific questions, prompts, requirementsI strongly encourage you to look ahead, not back
Written work4 grading criteria
TimelinessDepth of Personal LearningConceptual RigorOverall Quality
1:1 MeetingsAppointments: Link on Canvas & in syllabus Most weeks: Meet in Bass (B206)Optional, no impact on gradeThursday, 10am-3pm only
ChangeWeek 2 Assignment due Tuesday 9pm
