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Hey followers, The folks in charge here have deemed that I suck at making jumbles, which means I’M BACK ON CROSSWORD DUTY!!! Yesss! My fanta-sies o! returning to these puz-zles have !inally come to frui-tion, bursting forth like things that burst forth. Well, it’s good to be back, enjoy this week’s puzzle!

Love,Adam “Proud once again to be Puzzle Slut” Brayton

ACROSS1. Queen o! “Romeo and Juli-et”?4. AC/DC hit “_____ in Black”8. Fatal virus for cats, abbr.11. “You _____ my sunshine…”12. Barbary sheep13. Natalie’s role in “Black Swan”14. What one can do with 47-across15. Combustion-ignition en-gine, to a Brit16. Mined iron and copper17. Act with inspiration from a Marx Brothers movie20. Eyelash infection21. Central American raccoon cousin22. “To the !ield,” to Alejandro

27. “Black Orpheus” setting, for short28. At that should merit a Guinness World Record, with “on Earth”33. Dodge truck line34. Space cloud35. Homer’s !irst epic poem37. 80s hip-hop trio “Salt-n-_____”41. Act drawing from dirty moviemakers, with “The New”46. Alternate spelling o! the an-cient Celtic alphabet47. Material for 14-across48. Actor Torn49. “Metalocalypse” band “_____klok”50. Treats a sore with cold51. Commander o! the Califor-nia Republic William52. Playstation Corp., to an in-vestor53. Cesar Milan’s command to dogs?54. Suf!ix for Coll and Kathl DOWN1. Geometry, algebra, and cal-culus, to a Brit2. What Lisztomania is like?3. With characteristics o! Fat Tire or perhaps Guinness4. Made an offer on eBay5. Repetitively named 60s Ira-nian pop star Are!kia6. Antidote

7.Puebloan ceremonial room8. Shotgun or ri!le9. Newton’s !irst law10. 2004 !ilm “The _____ o! the Christ”13. Neighborhood east o! NYU18. “Take a _____”19. d/dL(TsinL)23. Willingness to tackle a job24. Sierra Nevada Pale _____25. Derek Jeter’s org.26. Few, to Pierre28. Camera stabilizers?29. Chlorine or Astatine30. Abu Dhabi or Dubai31. Suf!ix derived from the an-cient Greek word for “tomb”36. Screw it, I’m just gonna give you this one: ANMH38. Spooky39. Group o! lions40. Ski town in Colorado

APR

142011

To the Writing House Thief:I see you have struck

again. In response, I ask: Have you no dignity? You seem to think that you can just come pillage the Writing House and take whatever you want. While this has proven true, I would like to warn you that someday we, here at the WriHo, will run out of valuables. Then where will you be? Riding my bike to a coffee shop, where you will then take Will’s laptop out of Eric’s backpack and study your latest thievery hand-book? Yeah? Well, I HOPE YOUR CAFE AU LAIT IS COLD AND WEAK.Burn in hell (apparently this is now a thing),Diana

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ANSWERS TO LAST WEEK’S JUMBLE

CROSSWORD

DIADEMNORMALFLOORSPATENTMAGGOTQ: What happens when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?A: A FLAT MINOR

T""! his week, The Backpage decided to expand its ho-rizons and get politi-

cal! We managed to score an ex-clusive interview with write-in candidate for ASWC Pres-ident, Keenan Hilton, and his campaign manager Marcial Diaz. We’ve provided a tran-scription o! the interview below.

Backpage: Where were you when you heard that lost?

Keenan Hilton: Well, we got out o! rehearsal, and o! course I have an experienced ASWC senator here, so he knew. He knew exactly where to go. So we ran up to the ASWC Of!ice here in Reid and checked the numbers on the window.

Marcial Diaz: We consid-ered it a victory. We were aiming for between 30 to 40 votes, and we got 83 and two ballots that had misspelled Keenan, so we ac-tually had 85. What was it, 8.9 percent o! all the votes?

BP: Whose idea was it to have Keenan run for ASWC President?

KH: The way it started was that I had talked with a couple friends about how I thought, i! I just got a couple o! my friends from Lyman to just write in my name, then I could probably get second place. Then, I was talking to Marcial about it, and that was Saturday morning.

MD: Then we had a lunch break and during the lunch break, I worked on his campaign.

KH: He came back with post-ers and !liers.

MD: I saw the opportuni-ty o! having a different type o! president. You know how in the Pio last week, you had an article about how most o! the people in-volved in ASWC, or at least the presidents, are Greek, male and white? Keenan is just different.

He’s an indie!BP: Why did Keenan run?

Was it just to have somebody dif-ferent in the race?

KH: When [Marcial] printed out the !liers, the whole thing was obviously very self-aware, and I knew that I was up against some-one who has been in ASWC for a very long time and seems very well-quali!ied, and is the only person actually on the ballot. We were de!initely very aware o! all o! those things, and actually very aware that I don’t have ASWC experience; but I mean, really, for me, because I had to justify it in some way, because in the one-in-a-million chance that I did win, like what would I do? You know? I couldn’t just be like, “Wait, no, the whole thing was a joke! Sorry guys!” The way I justi!ied it was just that I think it’s stupid that in a democracy, what we call a dem-

ocratic election, there’s one per-son running for the most power-ful position. You know? Yeah, I mean how can you make the as-sumption that he’s the only one that they want? I know it was just the decision o! other people who may have run to just not, but I just thought that there should be another person, and I thought, you know what? I’ll be that oth-er person! I’ll be the alternative choice! [ See NOTE]

BP: So, what would you have done i! you did win by some off-chance? Did you have a platform?

KH: My platform basically was that I’m another choice. You know? What would I have done? Well, I would’ve shaken Marcial’s hand, and then I probably would have called up Matt Dittrich and asked him i! he could teach me how to be ASWC President.

BP: Do you expect that phone

call would have gone well?KH: I expect that it would

have been tense.BP: Had you talked to him

before this?KH: Very little. I’ve never

actually met him formally. I re-member him from the Green Dot thing at the beginning o! the year. I remember that he was super funny, but no, I didn’t meet him. He wrote on the campaign’s Fa-cebook page that he wanted a de-bate and I actually really would’ve liked that. I felt bad coming in at the last minute, and not that he would’ve needed it, but not giv-ing him a chance to be like, “Hey people, I have these quali!ica-tions.” I came in super fast at the end, with our powerhouse cam-paign. But, you know, he asked for a debate, and then I friend re-quested him, and said, uh hey I think that my schedule is going to

be open at these times, but then actually, my schedule wasn’t open at all, because Monday is actually my busiest day in terms o! classes, and then I also had rehearsal from 6 to 9:30 p.m. or whatever.

MD: We considered having it from 5 to 6, but he also needed to have dinner.

KH: I also needed to shower, and have dinner.

MD: It would have been a very short debate.

BP: It seems like Keenan is a busy man. Do you have any plans for the future, in terms o! school politics?

KH: Well, I myself, who knows? I really like ASWC and I really think that is an excellent institution to have as far as giv-ing students a say in what goes on in the school. We pay for it, ob-viously. Um, you know? At this point, I say who knows? Who knows? Maybe.

MD: But there is talk about him maybe running against Kay-von in 2013.

BP: Do you have any sort o! message for the people who voted for you who may be disappoint-ed?

KH: Yeah, I know, crestfall-en, as I’m sure they all are. I guess my message is, again, the purpose o! my running, my goal wasn’t to win. My goal was just to be an-other option. So, I guess what I say is just like you know, thanks for considering another option. You know, I think that’s healthy in a democracy to have multiple, multiple choices. HUZZAH.

[NOTE]BP: Is there anything else you

would like to add?MD: Well, you should men-

tion that he’s a Sig pledge.BP to KH: Are you?KH: Well, I mean I was last

semester. I didn’t de-pledge … I consider mysel! an indie …

Inspired by the recent undergraduate conference, several Whitties have already started working on projects for next year. The Back-page has managed to get copies of a few of the abstracts from these projects. It’s looking like 2012 is going to be a good year to PARTICI-PATE in the undergraduate conference!

'Yesterday Was Thursday, Today is Friday': Rebec-ca Black and the Postmodernist Melancholia of Fading Narratives In lyrics such as, "Seein’ everything, the time is goin’ / Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’ / Gotta get down to the bus stop," sing-er-songwriter-artist-icon Rebecca Black ruminates on the mean-inglessness o! everyday life and the mindless hedonism o! ritualis-tic weekend partying. In my presentation, I will also ruminate on the meaninglessness o! everyday life and the mindless hedonism o! rit-ualistic weekend partying. Using Albert Camus' “The Myth o! Sisy-phus”, I analyze "Friday" not as a teenage party anthem, but rather as a Sisyphean struggle against the interminable onslaught o! days.

(Re)-Envisioning the Gays As humans, we are seeing subjects. There is no escaping the gays -- unless o! course one is blind. The gays condition one's sense o! iden-tity, one's autonomy, and one's relationships with other subject-be-ings. Our society functions by several intersecting gays: panoptic, di-alectic, scopophilic, phallic, hegemonic, narcissistic, Lacanic, my-

opic, and discoursic. I will argue for a re-envisioning o! these gays through a re-reading o! such !ilms as "Hedwig and the Angry Inch", Truffaut's "The 400 Blows" and David Yates's masterpiece "Har-ry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince". The gays will never go away. Through them, however, we will better understand our own human natures.

Let's Get It On: Sociological Survey of How Many Whit-ties Were Conceived to Al Green, Marvin Gaye, or Barry White ("The Big Three") What is the in!luence o! music upon sexuality? What is the in!lu-ence o! a deep and dark booming bass sound accompanying love-making and its counterpart conception? Sociology seeks to explain some o! the most complex rituals o! society, leading us to question the very nature o! why we need sweet melodies to make sweet nas-ty. Our survey uses a functionalist-structuralist perspective to un-lock the nuances o! why these artists are institutionally-recognized as agents o! reproduction. Taking our cue from Barry White, we'll go "deeper and deeper."

W.E.B. Du Bois 'N Da Hood": Double Consciousness in the Works of the Wayans Brothers, "Family Matters," and "The Bernie Mac Show" I told Keith Raether, I want every excuse to re-watch the glory days o! African American "domesticana" television. He, rightly, agreed.

presentation abstracts

Keenan Hilton ‘14 explains that ASWC needs to up its indie cred. He swears the new Panda Bear album is the best thing you’ve never heard. PHOTO BY PARRISH

WUC Screw you,

Writing House

Thief pt. 2

Giggles!

with Keenan Hilton & Marcial Diaz