TX Citizen 8.20.15

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Fewer Phones, More Noise | Back to School with Ed | Colby on 'Merica

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table of contents

11

8CitizenSoundcheckThe ONLY guide of i ts kindfor the NB/SM Metroplex!

12

31st WordNew noise ordinanceback�res on homeownersthat pushed for it.

5

6Feature Story

Dodge for a Cause atAlpha Cross�t

Around & AboutCommemorative Air Force + Cajun Casino Night!

4On OccasionEd remembers school. Bit terly.

Ask a MexicanGustavo of fends intwo languages.

15Last WordColby enjoys South Dakota.

The County ’sMost Wanted

Look Mommy!Daddy’s in the paper!

Freemanon Sports

Local football preview!

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Crowdfunding UpdateLast week, we launched a crowdfunding project in support of our new, weekly podcast, The Texas News Grinder. Initially, we were going to run it through Kickstarter, but after we went to press, we decided against that route as we didn’t want to risk losing the pledges we generated if we fell short of the $3,500 goal. If you’re not familiar with Kickstarter, it’s pretty cool, but if you don’t get ALL the money you’re trying to raise, you don’t get ANY money. At all. So we brought the crowdfunding in house.

As of press time we’re nearly half way to our goal! Thank you New Braunfels! If you tried to get in on this via Kickstarter, only to discover The Texas News Grinder was missing, please send us an email at [email protected], and we’ll get you the details and set you up, local style! Now, on to the news.

Cell Phone BanSometimes, laws are made because they make people feel good, even if the laws themselves, which always trigger unintended consequences, come without true benefit. The City’s new ban on cell-phone use while driving falls into that category. We’ve been through the relevant facts before in this column, but if you missed them, or didn’t feel like committing them to long-term memory, here’s a sample:

According to the New Braunfels Police Department’s 2013 stats, less than one-percent of the approximately 1,300 local traffic accidents were attributed to cell-phone use. That leaves 1,292 accidents caused by other factors.

Then there’s the science. This article summarizing a University of Colorado study appears on the university’s website at colorado.edu:

“In a recent study, a researcher at the University of Colorado Boulder found no evidence that a California ban on using hand-held

cellphones while driving decreased the number of traffic

accidents in the state in the first six months following the ban.

“The findings, published in the journal Transportation Research Part A: Policy and Practice, are surprising given prior research that suggests driving while using a cellphone is risky. For example, past laboratory studies have shown that people who talk on a cellphone while using driving simulators are as impaired as people who are intoxicated.

“‘If it’s really that dangerous, and if even just a fraction of people stop using their phones, we would expect to find some decrease in accidents,’ said Daniel Kaffine, an associate professor of economics at CU-Boulder and an author of the study. ‘But we didn’t find any statistical evidence of a reduction.’

“The study was not designed to determine why accidents did not decrease, but there are several possible reasons, Kaffine said. One is that people switched from using hand-held devices to hands-free devices, such as ones with Bluetooth technology. Prior studies in the lab have suggested that both types of devices may be equally distracting.

“It’s also possible that people were not complying with the new law, though past studies suggest that cellphone use dropped in other states when bans were enacted.

“The reason could also be that the type of people who would drive recklessly using a cellphone are generally prone to distracted driving and would potentially cause accidents by fiddling with things, such as CD players or GPS devices, if they weren’t using their cellphones.

Continued on page 5.

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Thanks to a� the wonderful people who donated their time, energy, and hard earned cash this past Saturday night at the Cajun Casino Night! It went o� without a hitch and raised a lot of

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ON OCCASIONON OCCASIONwith ED FARBERERwith ED FARBERER

Back to SchoolWe often hear people wax sentimental about school. About those friendships we made that have lasted a lifetime, or about those special teachers who inspired us to strive toward greatness.

While these may be true, we no one likes to mention the reverse side, which is that school is also where we met the biggest ####### in our lives.

If honest, many of us would have to admit that some (if not most) of our worst childhood memories concern school: horrible sadistic bullies, vicious teachers who hate children and the administrators who could care less (the kind who would try to make you feel sorry for your tormentors).

Schools are actually a strange institution, a contradiction that borders on the paradox. They are necessary institutions, because we need to be an educated society. They are there to encourage children to strive toward greatness, whether academically, socially or physically. However, schools have to enforce order so that chaos doesn’t reign and an environment can be provided in which children can succeed. Thus, everyone is forced into the collective. Step out of the collective, and you find trouble (especially among those evil educators who can’t stand children behaving like, well, children).

This was true in my time, and it’s true today.

Of course, the problem with following the collective is that it is never very collective. This is a hard lesson for young children, many of whom learn for the first time that:

1. There are those who are better off (such as the children with the box of 64 Crayons with the sharpener – rich brats).

2. There are those more attractive (stuck ups).

3. There are those who are more physically endowed (stupid jocks).

4. There are those who are smarter (dorks).You see, while school works to bring

out and enhance our talents, this has the simultaneous effect of developing long-lasting self-esteem issues and bitterness.

I don’t know if they still do this today, but when I was in elementary school we had music on Thursdays. The teacher would hand out various percussion instruments, which we would bang to the time of “I’ve Been Working on the Railroad” and Woody Guthrie’s “This Land is Your Land.”

I developed a theory that there were three kinds of kids based upon the type of instruments they received. There were the favorites, who received the tambourines, cymbals and triangles. There were the rest, who got the sticks to bang together. Then there were the outcasts, who got the sandpaper blocks to rub together.

The problem, you see, isn’t that every teacher is bad. They’re not. Most are decent people trying to do a hard, often unappreciated job. No, the problem is that when a teacher is vile, he/she can wreak havoc on a person’s life at a very vulnerable stage. Such teachers are former bullies who got jobs in education so they could return to their psychological slaughterhouse. This is only made worse when there is damn little that can be done about such people, whether at the elementary, secondary or even collegiate level.

I had a first-grade teacher, Mrs. Davis (her real name, by the way), who once berated me in front of the class, screaming in my face that I was “stupid” and “worthless.” My parents complained to the principal about Mrs. Davis, but the principal only extolled the teacher’s great virtues, and that she was an institution who has been with the school for 30 years, et-freaking-cetera. I found out later that there had been many complaints about the Institutional Mrs. Davis, each ending the same way. When my thoughts turn to her even today, I always hope, deep within my heart, that she is roasting in Hell.

My advice to students, then, is to be yourselves. If that doesn’t work, be rebellious, but pick your battles wisely. Do your work, make good grades and go to college. Then, get a good job, rise to top and make them pay. Make them all pay…

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Continued from page 3. “And finally, it’s possible that past studies

of the risk of using cellphones while driving overestimate the danger. Since many of these studies were done in the lab, it could be that people perform differently using a driving simulator than they do on a real road.”

Let’s go over the good part again: “‘If it’s really that dangerous, and if even just a fraction of people stop using their phones, we would expect to find some decrease in accidents,’ said Daniel Kaffine, an associate professor of economics at CU-Boulder and an author of the study. ‘But we didn’t find any statistical evidence of a reduction.’”

The fact is, it’s not as dangerous as our collective gut tells us it is. The rational path is to not ban cell-phone use. Naturally, some people are going to read this article and think that I am advocating the use of cell-phones while driving, so let me make this clear - If a driver is found to have caused an accident because they were distracted for any reason, be it a box of chicken fingers, a screaming baby, or a cell-phone, let that be a factor in the liability determination. That’s why we have red lights and stop signs and speed limits and whatnot, so we can assign liability in the event of a collision. But every last argument made by those in favor of this law has been rooted in prevention of accidents caused by cell-phone use, and prevention of eight out of 1,300 accidents is fantasy. Some unwise acts can’t be stopped by ordinance. I’m going to propose a law that requires 500 hours of political science, economics, and critical thinking education for everyone that runs for office. Maybe that’ll help. (It won’t.)

Sure, it’s an incredibly bad idea to text while driving. It’s a bad idea to take your eyes off the road for any reason, which we all do every day, hundreds of times. As I was told by my driving instructor before cell phones were a thing, you’re a danger if you drive angry, and you’re a danger if you drive happy. Driving is a dangerous activity that somehow most of us pull off every day without incident, and when collisions occur, most of them are non-fatal/non-injury. We’re made to think that all traffic accidents are catastrophic. They are not.

People that make laws like this don’t understand what purpose non-regulatory laws serve. Laws exist not to change behavior, but to allow for a codified punishment for whatever the illegal act is. Laws against murder aren’t expected to stop murderers, but they do provide for a response once one happens. A murderer actually has to kill somebody before they can be punished for it. A driving cell-phone user is now subject to punishment before they hurt anybody. That’s the difference. And it’s bad precedent. #minorityreport

Note: if you get caught violating the ordinance prior to November 1, you’ll get off with a warning for that, but are still subject to arrest for possession of any contraband the officer who pulled you over might notice. Same with the body in the back seat. So throw a towel over it.

Noise OrdinanceIf you were exposed to any San Antonio/Austin coverage of the rewritten noise ordinance, you were probably shown a photo of Gruene Hall, as if it were subject to the ordinance. Naturally, those newsrooms screwed up. Gruene Hall isn’t affected by the new ordinance, because the revision was written to placate a few disgruntled homeowners who don’t dig on the Pour Haus, which is downtown.

We could go on for another two-thousand words here, but in the end it comes down to this:

If a music venue is not located within 100 feet of a residential district, sound equipment may be operated at up to 85 decibels at all times.

If a music venue is located within 100 feet of a residential district, sound equipment may be operated at up to 85 decibels between 10am and 10pm, and up to 80 decibels at all other times.

Wait a minute. According to that, nobody is affected by the new ordinance, because nobody plays their music that loud (when measured from the street/sidewalk as police are directed to in the ordinance). Months ago, we went out and took Saturday night decibel readings all over over town, and everybody came in at under 80 dB. So what this really means is that the couple people that tried to smite the Pour Haus with their complaints, in fact gave the Haus the

right to crank it up another 5+dBs. Well done, neighbors. I guess that photo of Gruene Hall was relevant after all.

Granted, the Pour Haus hasn’t always been the Pour Haus, and there hasn’t always been live music in that part of downtown, so the nearby homeowners weren’t expecting nightly alt-country music when they bought there. But Union-Pacific has had its tracks six feet from the Pour Haus’ footprint since gods-know-when, and the locals didn’t mind moving in next to that 100+ decibel wake-you-up-screaming-in-the-middle-of-the-night-because-it-feels-like-your-house-is-collapsing terror show. If you can tolerate freight trains you can sure as heck put up with the live music the hipsters and the gays enjoy. I mean really.

\m/

Mike ReynoldsPublisher/Editor-in-Chief

Chase Cochran contributed to this column, and should be named as a co-defendant in any litigation filed as a result of its publication.

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Last Saturday we spent the morning at the Commemorative Air Force hangar out the San Marcos airport, in celebration of the 70th anniversary of the end of WWII. After a day of cars and aircraft, we headed back to town for Longshot Wine Bar's Cajun Casino Night at the McKenna Center to bene�t the Children's Advocacy Center of Comal County! We expect to be fully recovered from last weekend by this weekend.

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Dodgeball has a long and intriguing history.The sport stems from the days when

combatants would hurl stones at one another across battlements.

During the middle ages, Scottish Highlanders turned rock dodging into a sport because that’s the kind of thing they did back then, when viciously maiming one another was considered a bonding experience.

What we now recognize as dodgeball took form in America during the 1930s when a school basketball coach noticed that some of those trying out for the team didn’t catch so well and, after being smacked with the basketball, had to sit down for a while to regain their composure.

Dodgeball reached its zenith recently at Alpha CrossFit in New Braunfels as the fitness institute held a Dodge for a Cause tournament in order to raise funds for local resident Marsha Mudge.

Marsha has advanced-stage breast cancer, which has spread to other parts of her body. She lost her husband, John Mudge, a New Braunfels High School football coach, a year ago. The couple have two young sons, Jackson, age three, and five-year-old Tanner.

“This is great to just watch everyone run around, throw balls at each other, play

a kids’ game, have fun and not worry about life,” Marsha said.

The tournament was the idea of Alpha CrossFit owners Chris and Lauren Cavanaugh.

“It was so much fun,” Chris said. “We wanted to do something different, and we thought of dodge ball.”

“Even though there had already been a couple of fundraisers, we wanted to do something new and exciting, get everybody together and be active,” Lauren agreed.

The game played at Alpha CrossFit was brutal, in all of its Medieval Scottish Highland glory. Teams of muscular people hurled red rubber balls at one another as hard as they could at very close range, making an audible and painful “smack” when the balls hit home. The echoes from the hits were audible for miles, frightening livestock: chickens stopped laying eggs, cows stopped giving milk and monkeys forgot how to read.

There was a wooden barricade around the perimeter to mark off the play area and offer protection for the audience, at which it failed. Those watching the tournament had to keep a very sharp eye on the games lest they become collateral damage, thus making the audience feel like part of the action, which they appeared to greatly enjoy. By the end of the tournament, the wooden barricade was in tatters.

The winning team was made up of young athletes from New Braunfels High School. The team called itself M4L, Mudge for Life.

“We all played football for her husband in high school and we’ve been all helping her out during this hard time, so it’s great to be here for her,” said Jericho Gomez, one of the team’s members.

Marsha certainly enjoyed their winning performance.

“It’s hilarious to watch these guys,” Marsha said of M4L. “These guys played for my husband, so it’s just awesome that they came out.”

Marsha certainly has a long way to go, with many more treatments and surgeries ahead. But she remains positive because, in her view, what else can you do? She expressed these sentiments when I pointed out that she had a big smile.

“I do, I do! It’s the only way to live life,” she said. “No matter what happens, you always have a smile. Cancer can take a lot, but it can’t take my smile away.”

The genesis of the tournament came from the Cavanaugh’s desire to do something for the community. A couple of members of Alpha CrossFit who had worked with Marsha when was the school nurse at Carl Schurz Elementary and recommended the fundraising tournament be on her behalf.

“Chris and Lauren wanted to give back to the community in the best way they could, and Marsha is a great person to do something for,” said Alpha CrossFit member Michele Broderick. “They didn’t want it to necessarily be just a CrossFit event, but something everyone could participate in. Most of the people participating had never even met Marsha before today.”

And Marsha was more than touched by everyone’s efforts.

“I want to thank Alpha CrossFit so much and thank all of the people who came out in support,” she said. “I just couldn’t fight the fight without everyone here.

“I can’t believe all these people came together just to support me, it’s just overwhelming and amazing,” Marsha added. “This just fills my heart and makes me want to fight harder.”

The event raised $845. If you would like to contribute to help Marsha’s fight, you can do so through her Go Fund Me website, Fighting for Marsha Mudge at gofundme.com/tp88x2j. You can also go to her Facebook page, MudgeStrong.

Alpha CrossFit is located at 1153 N. Academy Ave. Their phone number is 830.643.1811.

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Freemanon SportsFreemanon Sports WITH BRANT FREEMANWITH BRANT FREEMAN

It’s CloserLife for a sports fan is finally getting a little more interesting these days as everything is closer: football season (high school, college and pro), the MLB playoffs and homework (just kidding kids! Except, not really. Enjoy those book reports on the work of Emily Dickinson and science fair projects. Anything involving a potato or a volcano are grounds for a D-). With this time of the year upon us, I’ll be using this space (next to New Braunfels’ most upstanding citizens) to look at both the week past and the week ahead.

BASEBALLWEEK IN REVIEW: The Houston Astros have been one of the best stories in baseball this season but the ‘Stros grip on the AL West is slipping. As of this writing, the Angels are just 2.5 games back of Houston and in-state rival Texas has climbed to within three games of the Astros’ division lead. The records of the current two AL Wild Card teams, Toronto (65-54) and Baltimore (61-56) are better and just slightly behind Houston respectively, meaning that the Astros aren’t the postseason lock they appeared to be about six weeks ago.

On July 3, Houston was 48-34, good for the best record in the American League and second in all of MLB only to the Cardinals. Since then the Astros are 16-21 and have just the fourth best record in the AL (8 games back of 1st place Kansas City). The problem? Road games. Houston is 4-17 on the road since July 3 and just 24-35 all season compared to its 40-20 record at home. The Astros home/road split is like the Season 1/Season 2 split of True Detective (RUST COHLE FOR LIFE).

WEEK AHEAD: The Astros are at home for the rest of the week so that’s a relief, although they close their home stand against the NL West leading LA Dodgers before heading on the road for six games against the Yankees and Twins. The Rangers are at Detroit for a four-game series against the Tigers but then host red-hot Toronto and Baltimore next week. There’s still seven more games left between Houston and Texas coming next month… throw in the Angels, and the race for the AL West crown is going to be good.

FOOTBALLWEEK IN REVIEW: Well, we finally got to see the Cowboys and Texans in action. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great that football is back, something I’ve been pining for in this column like a fanboy awaiting the next Marvel movie (don’t worry Milton, they release about six a month). But preseason football is BRUTAL. In their game against San Diego, the Cowboys started 53-year-old Brandon Weeden who completed 4 of 5 passes without an interception, a feat that probably ranks in the Top 10 of his NFL “career”. Phillip Rivers threw two passes for the Chargers, both Tony Romo and Dez Bryant sat out for the Cowboys.

The game, like most preseason games, was more of a glorified tryout for the fringe-roster players and I don’t know which is more appalling: that average ticket price for these preseason games is $184 or that people actually buy them.

The Texans beat San Francisco in their preseason opener 23-10 but there’s still no definitive answer to the question of who will be Houston’s starting quarterback come Week One. Maybe it’ll be whoever gets cussed out the least by Bill O’Brien in Hard Knocks.

WEEK AHEAD: The Texans host the Broncos and the Cowboys play in California again, against San Francisco. I’ll watch each for about 15 minutes and then it’s back to the DVR for more Bar Rescue. We also get our first look at local high school football this Friday with New Braunfels scrimmaging against Dripping Springs, Canyon against Killeen Harker Heights, and Smithson Valley scrimmages against Brandeis with all area teams scrimmaging at their home stadiums. The real fun starts next week with the regular season openers. College football kicks off the first week of September which I’ll start covering here as well. BE READY.

Until next week…

Brant Freeman is a seasoned local sportscaster, serving as the radio voice of Texas State University, hosting television coverage of Texas State Athletics and delivering the goods as a reporter for major pro and collegiate sporting events in the greater San Antonio area for over a decade.

MOST WANTED

$300REWARD

COMAL COUNTY ’S

MEDELLIN, JESSE RODRIGUEZMale • 5’07” • 200 lbsDOB: 01/01/1976CHARGE: Possession of a controlled substance pg 1 under 1 gram and theft of property under $1500 with 2 or more previous convictions

JOHNSON,JESSE RAYMale • 6’02” • 155 lbs

DOB: 04/14/1989CHARGE: Motion to

revoke probation for

injury to child

NAVARRO,JUSTINMale • 5’10” • 160 lbsDOB: 12/17/1983CHARGE: Failure to appear for sexual assault of a child

PEACOCK,CODY RYANMale • 6’01” • 155 lbs

DOB: 05/22/1991

CHARGE: Driving

while intoxicated with

child under 15 yoa

BECCERA,THOMASMale • 5’07” • 155 lbsDOB: 03/12/1973CHARGE: Failure to appear for driving while intoxicated 3rd or more.

RIOS,MARK JR

Male • 5’10” • 140 lbsDOB: 02/26/1993

CHARGE: Failure to appear for theft property >$1500<$20k CT I and

failure to appear for tamper fabricate

physical evidence CT II

RUDEL, BRANDON NOLAN

Male • 6’01” • 220 lbsDOB: 10/08/1984

CHARGE: Motion to proceed with

adudication for theft >$1500<$20k from the

elderly

VIDAURRE,BENITO

Male • 5’08” • 165 lbsDOB: 09/23/1987

CHARGE: Retaliation

ZAMORA,JESSE ANTHONY

Male • 5’09” • 185 lbsDOB: 01/03/1971

CHARGE: 2 counts bail jumping and failure

to appear

STEWART, MICHAEL

JOSEPH-LESMale • 5’05” • 146 lbs

DOB: 11/22/1988CHARGE: Motion to revoke probation for

delivery marijuana >1/4oz<5lbs

The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act. This is a true and accurate account as of Monday, August 18, 2015 at 10:03 a.m. and may not be current by the time it is read. Do not try to apprehend anyone. These are listings of criminal warrants with the Comal County Sheriff ’s Office and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the status of each warrant prior to making an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.

FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF COMAL COUNTY’S MOST WANTED. Callers will remain anonymous. 830.620.3400 - 24-Hour830.620.3411 - Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm

GOURLEY-METCALF,QUINNLINFemale • 5’07” • 200 lbsDOB: 11/05/1993CHARGE: Violation of conditions of bond for evading arrest or detention with vehicle


By Gustavo Arellano

Dear Mexican: I live in the Bronx, in a heavily immigrant area. We have many West African, Dominican, Mexican, Central American, Guyanese, and Bengali newcomers. I’ve noticed that Mexican men seem to spend lots of time with their wives and kids. Every weekend in the park, you see Mexican man after Mexican man playing soccer with his kids or doing some other activity with his family. I know that most of these men work six days a week, and am amazed that in their free time, they don’t just want to be left alone. Not that you don’t see other nationalities’ men playing with their kids, but more often you see the African and Dominican men hanging out with other men, and the wives are with the kids. This is, of course, a vast generalization, but I’ve noticed it a lot. I also often see Mexican men helping their wives at the Laundromat. I thought Mexicans were supposed to be machos. But I’m thinking that maybe I need to find myself a Mexican man!

Randy in Riverdale

Dear Gabacha: You should definitely get yourself an hombre, but not for taking care of kids. “The Quality of Time Spent with Children among Mexican Immigrants,” a paper written by Purdue University professor Andres J. Vargas and Daniel Kidane of Ohio Wesleyan University, found that Mexican fathers spent less time with their kiddies than gabachos, Mexican-Americans, and African-Americans, although the rate improved the more time the papis lived in the U.S. “We interpret this as evidence that duration of residence is associated with an improvement of the childcare behaviors of Mexican immigrants,” the two wrote. They didn’t give a reason as to why Mexican fathers spend less time with their kids, but you alluded to the answer: our dads work

a lot. No time for museums, libraries, or tutoring. But trying to turn your son into the next Fernando Valenzuela or Chicharito? Of course!

Dear Mexican: I’m a gabacho, but I’ve been loving menudo for about 45 years. What are your thoughts on why menudo is the Food of the Gods?

I Ain’t Mexican but Mi Estómago Damn Well Is

Dear No Soy Mexicano But My Stomach Sí Es: You are one smart gabacho! Most of your ilk only think of the tripe soup as an edible donkey show: a horrific, disgusting artifact of a horrific, disgusting people. But menudo is so much more than boiled cow guts or something to soak up the booze that fueled your previous night. Menudo is a socio-historical lesson in a bowl: the fat, pale kernels of pozole have nourished Mesoamericans since time immemorial; the use of tripe and not the better parts of a cow a testament to its status as a poor person’s meal. Menudo is delicious, the trinity of firm pozole, chewy tripe and fiery, blood-red broth producing a comforting, fatty flavor. More important, menudo is amor. It’s the soup Mexican women slave over for their hungry families on weekend mornings, the dish over which families unite and teens fall in love as they pitch woo along with the wicker of tortillas. Menudo nowadays exists in can form, but that’s heresy. True menudo is a difficult feat, taking hours to create, but it comes with a payoff that transcends taste buds and strives for the sublime. Will menudo cure a hangover? No doubt. But if that’s all you eat it for, then you truly don’t know love.

Ask the Mexican at [email protected],

be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano or follow him

on Instagram @gustavo_arellano!

ASK A MEXICAN!

!

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‘Merica!The guided tour of the area around the Black

Hills took us to Mount Rushmore, a restored

rail line, the Crazy Horse Monument,

and some of the scenic highways, all the

while traveling through various towns

and offering a local history. It really was

fascinating. Overall, the trip just whet my

appetite for more.

The tour spent an hour at Mount

Rushmore, which was nowhere near

enough time to take in the historical

content available. We opted out of the

trip closer to the monument because

I had no real interest in walking so far

to look up George Washington’s nose.

We also missed an exhibition of Native

American dancing, and really had to rush

through some of the exhibits. Still, Mount

Rushmore was, by far, my favorite portion

of the tour.

Even more time was allotted for the

Crazy Horse Monument, and even more

was missed. The Crazy Horse Monument

is a private project in response to Mount

Rushmore. I encourage people to research it

and to go see it. Because they have refused

any government money or control and the

project includes both a college and museum

it is not yet completed an may not be for

some time, but it is already possible to see

how the monument will turn out and it houses

the largest museum dedicated to Native

Americans in the U.S.

The rail tour was a little dull. Essentially,

it was just a train ride from one town to

another. There was a sound track that

offered a good deal of the history of the

line, which was developed for the mines in

the area, but it was drown out by the train

noise. In any case, the scenery was nice and

the ride was pleasant.

It’s difficult to explain the scenic

roadways in the Black Hills and hope

to do them any real justice. One that we

went on during the tour is simply a scenic

tour carefully designed to force travel to

a crawl by twisting the road into almost

impossible contortions, and every twist,

turn and concern over falling over the side

of a mountain to your death was worth it.

Another went through Custer State Park.

This is billed as a wildlife loop, but during

our tour we saw very little. Somehow the

buffalo had managed to hide, and we

didn’t see even one. We returned another

day and saw more than had ever imagined,

but that’s another story completely.

The tour took almost the whole day, and

all of us were wiped out by the end of it. We

immediately began talking about the things

we saw and what we would like to see

more of, knowing full well that what we saw

during the day was only a sliver of what was

in the area. Rock hunting, museums, fossils,

local flavor, and Deadwood remained

completely unexplored. What intrigued me

most, though, was something I saw in Mount

Rushmore and the way it was presented. It

seemed to me that it might be the perfect

metaphor for our country and how different

people see it.

Have you ever seen one of the ‘Merica!

Cartoons (memes) online? The one that

immediately comes to mind for me is the

drawing of an obese man driving one of those

geriatric scooters while firing a machine gun

in the air. The scooter is generally festooned

with patriotic regalia. The man’s mouth is

open either shouting “‘Merica!” himself or

perhaps in anticipation of a Big Mac from the

fast food bag at his side. I suspect everyone

has seen something of the sort by now and I

have long suggested that the meme offers a

good way of determining how much someone

really loves this country: The amount of irony

with which you say ‘Merica tells you just how

a person feels about America.

Conservatives have long been patriotic

and people like Sarah Palin quickly

grabbed the contracted meme and made

it her own as did several others. I don’t

always consider myself conservative, but I

am right on board with this particular idea.

We (Sarah Palin, myself, and those who

love this country just as it is) say ‘Merica

proudly and without any irony at all.

Liberals and self-described deep thinker

of all types in this country say ‘Merica in a

completely ironic way. The phrase is meant

to denigrate the country and the larger

portion of its people. Most are so blinded

by this way of thinking that they don’t even

understand how someone could adopt the

meme ‘Merica, as it is, and see it as a

badge of honor, a clear depiction of what

makes America great.

Let me help.

In the meme, where some see an obese

man, a man with no self-control or pride in

his appearance, I see a man blessed with

abundance. Certainly this is true of his size,

but the way someone gets to that size is

by have access to all they need and more.

Where some find the scooter silly and a

symbol of laziness (along with the weight), I

see a country where invention and innovation

are prized, where we’re always looking for

a better way. In this case a scooter offers

mobility to people who might have none

otherwise. Where some see a man blindly

and dangerously firing a weapon in the air,

I see a man enthusiastically exercising his

Second Amendment rights. Where some

see jingoism, I see patriotism. Where some

see corporate greed, I see a free market

(or at least a freer market) that has brought

more people out of poverty than with all

the social programs ever devised. In short,

where some see everything that’s bad about

America in the meme, I see everything

that’s great about it. I recognize that the

intent of the artist is just the opposite, but I

also recognize just how wrong-minded the

argument behind the intent is.

You will find exactly this type of

dichotomy at Mount Rushmore as well. The

first thing I noticed was that Mount Rushmore

was an attraction as much as it was a

monument. It had a subtle Disney feel to it.

Is this part of the over commercialization

of America, or just another example of

America’s dedication to the free market?

The workers in many cases are Ukrainian.

Why you ask? Well, because they are

willing to work and are part of a program

that allows college students from Ukraine

to work and travel abroad. Does this say

bad things about America and its work

ethic, or does it say good things about

the way the rest of the world sees us. The

monument itself raises questions. Are we

memorializing old white men, or are we

memorializing the history of our country

and the Presidents who were instrumental in

creating it? Is this patriotic symbol carved

into a sacred mountain on stolen Indian

land evidence of our greatness or our sins?

I suppose each of us has to decide.

Last WordWith Kelly Colby

You can read more from Kelly Colby at yourfirstshrug.blogspot.com.


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TX Citizen 8.20.15