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Conversations that Count Helping communities think and talk about death and dying Toolkit for volunteer communicators

Conversations that Count...Introducing conversations that count What’s it all about? Traditionally, in New Zealand, many families are reluctant to think and talk about death and

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Page 1: Conversations that Count...Introducing conversations that count What’s it all about? Traditionally, in New Zealand, many families are reluctant to think and talk about death and

Conversations that Count

Helping communities think and talk about death and dying

Toolkit for volunteer communicators

Page 2: Conversations that Count...Introducing conversations that count What’s it all about? Traditionally, in New Zealand, many families are reluctant to think and talk about death and

Thank you to all the people involved in the development of this toolkit including:

• Alltheparticipantswhocametotheco-designworkshopsandsharedtheirexperiencesandideas.

• OurvolunteerCommunicatorswhowillinglyparticipatedinthepilottrainingandwentoutintothecommunity.

• MembersoftheConversationsthatCountProjectGroupfortheirongoingsupportandadvice.

• StephenMcKernonforhisservicedesign&facilitationskillsandendlesspatience.

• SueBottemaforprovidingbrillianttrainingforourvolunteers.

• NikkiMcLayforthewonderfulgraphicdesign.

• HilaryBoydwhosecreativity,dedicationandcommitmentmadethistoolkitareality.

• TheHealthQualityandSafetyCommissionforfundingthisproject.

Suggestedcitation:

AucklandDistrictHealthBoard.2012.Conversations that Count: Helping Communities Talk about Death and Dying.Auckland:AucklandDistrictHealthBoard.

ISBN978-0-473-22275-8(ringbinder)

ISBN978-0-473-22276-5(PDF)

BarrySnowACPLeaderAucklandDHB

LeighMansonACPProgrammeManagerAucklandDHB

Page 3: Conversations that Count...Introducing conversations that count What’s it all about? Traditionally, in New Zealand, many families are reluctant to think and talk about death and

1

BEFORE YOU STARTThetoolkit 3

Talkingaboutdeathanddying 5

Preparingforasession 9

SESSION MODULESSTARTING A SESSION 01SessionOpening 21

THINKING AND TALKING ABOUT DEATH02 FindingtheWords 22

03 FourbyFour 23

04 ThingstoKnow 25

05 FearsandHopes 27

06 FacingDeath 28

07 DeathofaPet 29

08 ExpertInterviews 30

PREPARING FOR DEATH AND LIFE AFTERWARDS09 TheWall 31

10 TheGate 33

11 InformationBank 35

12 MakeFriendswithDeath 38

13 ConversationCards 39

PREPARING FOR THE DEATH OF SOMEONE YOU KNOW14 SharingyourWishes 43

15 TheBoat 44

16 HonouringtheLegacy 46

17 TheCelebration 48

ENDING A SESSION18 SessionClosing 49

REFERENCES 51

Page 4: Conversations that Count...Introducing conversations that count What’s it all about? Traditionally, in New Zealand, many families are reluctant to think and talk about death and

Introducing

conversations that countWhat’s it all about? Traditionally,inNewZealand,manyfamiliesarereluctanttothinkandtalkaboutdeathanddyingandthetypeoftreatmentandcaretheymaywantattheendoftheirlives.Somepeopledonotthinkortalkabouttheseatall,manydonotdosountiltheyareverysick.Thiscanleavetheirfamiliesandhealthcareprovidersmakingdecisionsabouttheircareandtreatmentwithoutknowingwhatthepersonwouldhavewanted.

ConversationsthatCountisapilotprogrammewhichaimstoencourageconversationsincommunitiesaboutthetreatmentandcareattheendoflife.Itdoesthisbytrainingvolunteers,knownas‘communicators’,togetcommunitygroupstalkingaboutplanningfordeathanddyinginapositiveandproductiveway.

The communicator’s purpose is to help community groups hold their own discussions about planning for death and dying in a positive and productive way.

How did it come about? TheideacamefromaseriesofworkshopsrunbyAucklandDistrictHealthBoard(ADHB)in2011withconsumerswhohadeitherexperiencedthedeathofalovedoneorwerefacingdeaththemselves.Theseconsumerswantedtopromotethinkingandtalkingaboutdeathanddyingintheircommunitiesbutneededtrainingandresourcesbeforetheycoulddothis.

Alongwithsupportfromthecommunity,ADHBsuccessfullyreceivedfundingfromtheHealthQualityandSafetyCommission(HQSC)torunapilotprojecttodevelopresourcesandtraining,andrecruitvolunteerstofacilitatecommunitysessions.Thistoolkitisforpeoplewhotrainasvolunteercommunicators.

Community InvolvementThis toolkit was developed with the community and took a lot of hard work and goodwill on their part. Four co-design workshops were held which tackled issues such as the words used for death and dying, scenarios and role-plays for working with communities and how to train volunteers.

The modules in this toolkit are what workshop participants have suggested would work well in their communities.

“We want to encourage families and communities to think and talk about the treatment and care they want at the end of their lives.”

2

Page 5: Conversations that Count...Introducing conversations that count What’s it all about? Traditionally, in New Zealand, many families are reluctant to think and talk about death and

3

Part I Talking about death and dying This gives you some introductory information about:

Advance care planning-awayofhelpingpeoplethinkabout,talkaboutandshare theirthoughtsandwishesabouttheirfuturehealthcare.

Advance care plans–awayofhelpingpeoplewritedowntheirwishes,preferences, valuesandgoalsaboutcurrentandfuturehealthcare

New Zealand resources

Part II Preparing for a session Onceyouhavebeentothetrainingthenextstepistorunasessionwitha groupfromwithinyourowncommunity.Here,youcanlearnaboutthe keystepsforhowyougoaboutsettingupasession.

The steps are:

1. Understand the programme

2. Be clear about your roles and responsibilities

3. Contact the community group

4. Decide whether to agree to a community session

5. Make the arrangements

Part III The session modules Thesearethemodulesforyoutousewhenyouworkwithacommunitygroup. Youareabletopickandmixfromthemodulestosuittheneedsofthegroupyou areholdingasessionwith,yourownpersonalstyleandtimeconstraints.Apartfrom theopeningandclosingmodules(thesearethecompulsoryones),themodulesare groupedintothreecategories:

The catergories are:

Thinking and talking about death-Thesearetheeasier,lesschallengingmodules whichencouragecommunitiestogetstarted.Theynormallytakebetween20and40 minutestocomplete.

Preparing for death and life afterwards-Thesemodulesaremorechallenging andconsequentlyarelongerwithmostmodulesestimatedtotakebetween 30and60minutesdependingonthesizeofthegroup.

Preparing for the death of someone you know -Thesemodulesarethemost challenging(bothfortheyouandthecommunitygroup)astheyencourageparticipants todelvedeeperintheirthinking.Thesemodulesmaytake60minutesorlonger.

The TOOLKITThis toolkit will provide you with some practical resources and tools you need to run community sessions. It sits alongside a training programme and ideally, you should use it after receiving the training. The toolkit is divided into three parts:

Page 6: Conversations that Count...Introducing conversations that count What’s it all about? Traditionally, in New Zealand, many families are reluctant to think and talk about death and
Page 7: Conversations that Count...Introducing conversations that count What’s it all about? Traditionally, in New Zealand, many families are reluctant to think and talk about death and

5

Part I

Talking about death and dying

Page 8: Conversations that Count...Introducing conversations that count What’s it all about? Traditionally, in New Zealand, many families are reluctant to think and talk about death and

6

The official definition“Advancecareplanningisaprocessofdiscussionandsharedplanningforfuturehealthcare.Itinvolvespatient,whanauandhealthcareprofessionals.Advancecareplanninggivespatientstheopportunitytodevelopandexpresstheirpreferencesforendoflifecarebasedon:

•Theirpersonalviewsandvalues

•Abetterunderstandingoftheircurrentandlikelyfuturehealth

•Thetreatmentandcareoptionsavailable.”

(National Advance Care Planning Cooperative)

Planninggivespeoplethechancetodevelopandexpresstheirpreferencesforcareinformednotonlybytheirpersonalviewsandvaluesbutalsobyanunderstandingoftheircurrentandanticipatedfuturehealthstatusandthetreatmentandcareoptionsavailable.

Advance care planning can be many things, such as:

•Havingaconversationaboutillness,prognosisandtreatment

•Havingadiscussionaboutdeathanddying

•Talkingabouttreatmentpreferences,nowandinthefuture

•Writingdownvaluesandbeliefstoinformtreatmentdecisionsnow,orforatimewhenapersonisnolongercapable.

Benefits of planning“Itencouragesconversationsaboutwhatisimportantforaperson,providingthemwiththeopportunitytodiscusstheirhopesandexpectations,aswellastheirfearsandanxietiesabouttheirfuturehealthandaboutdeathanddying.”

“Ithelpsapersonachieveasenseofcontrolastheirillnessprogressesanddeathapproaches.”

“Itengagesothers,includingfamily/whanauandcaregivers,intheadvancecareplanningprocesstohelpthemunderstandtheperson’swishesandtosupportthemthroughtheprocess.”

“Itreassuresthepersonthatdiscussionsandplanscanchangeovertimeandinparticularifcircumstanceschange.”

(New Zealand Ministry of Health & Hospice New Zealand, 2011, p7)

Advance care planningMany people don’t like to think and talk about death and dying. For some communities talking about death is taboo. Often discussions do not happen in families until someone is very unwell and may be in hospital.

When people get sick, families and healthcare providers are often left to make difficult decisions without knowing what the person wants. Advance care planning can help with this.

Page 9: Conversations that Count...Introducing conversations that count What’s it all about? Traditionally, in New Zealand, many families are reluctant to think and talk about death and

7

Yeah. It’s important to review your plan if things have changed

for you.

Yeah. It’s important to review your plan if things have changed

for you.

Advance care plansAn advance care plan is an oral or written instruction (written is preferred) which articulates a person’s wishes, preferences, values and goals about current and future health care. The plan will only be used to direct future medical treatments and procedures when the person loses capacity to make their own decisions.

(New Zealand Ministry of Health & Hospice New Zealand, 2011).

Steps to making an advance care plan“Thinkaboutwhatvaluesandbeliefsaroundend-of-lifeissuesareimportanttoyou.Whatmakeslifemeaningfultoyouandwhatsituationsmightmakeitseempointless?

“Talktohealthprofessionalstolearnaboutmedicaltreatmentsfortheveryillorinjured.Askaboutthebenefitsandrisksofthesetreatments.

“Decideatwhatpointyouwouldwantyourfuturehealthcaretofocusoncomfortcareratherthanlife-savingmeasureswhichmaybeuncomfortableorunpleasant.

“Choosewhatmedicalcareyoudoordon’twant,tohonouryourvalues,beliefsandfaith.

“Discussyourchoicesandwisheswiththoseclosesttoyou,sotheyknowwhatyouwouldwantiftheworstshouldhappen.

“Choosewhowouldyouwanttospeakforyouifyoucouldnolongermakeyourownmedicaldecisions,andsignover‘enduringpowerofattorney’tothem.

“Putyouradvancecareplaninwritingandkeepacopyinyourmedicalrecord.Itwillnotbeusedwhileyouarecapableofmakingyourowndecisionsandspeakingforyourself.”

(Advance Care Planning Cooperative, 2011, p.7.)

Can I change my advance care plan

once I’ve written it?

Sure. You can change your advance care plan whenever and as often as you wish, as long as you are competent.

Sure. You can change your advance care plan whenever and as often as you wish, as long as you are competent.

Can I change my advance care plan

once I’ve written it?

Page 10: Conversations that Count...Introducing conversations that count What’s it all about? Traditionally, in New Zealand, many families are reluctant to think and talk about death and

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Advance care planning. Preparing for the end of life. 2011

A2-pageleafletwhichexplainsadvancecareplanning.Availablefrom:AdvanceCarePlanningCooperative.

www.advancecareplanning.org.nz

Making the most of your final years. Practical and spiritual things to think about and plan for end of life. 2011

A2-pageleafletwhichdetailspracticalandspiritualthingstothinkaboutandplanfortheendoflifeAvailablefrom:AdvanceCarePlanningCooperative.

www.advancecareplanning.org.nz

My advance care plan

A4-pageformthatpeoplecanusetorecordandletothersknowthecaretheywanttowardstheendoftheirlives.Availablefrom:AdvanceCarePlanningCooperative.

www.advancecareplanning.org.nz

Advance Care Planning Guide. Planning for the medical treatment and care you want in the future. 2011

Aguideshowingpeoplehowto:

•Planforend-of-lifehealthcarechoices

•Writeanadvancecareplan

Availablefrom:AdvanceCarePlanningCooperative.

www.advancecareplanning.org.nz

Planning your future and the role of enduring powers of attorney. November 2008 (2nd edition)

Abookletwhichexplainshowpeoplecanarrangetohavetheiraffairsmanagediftheylosementalcapacity,eitherthroughaccidentorillness.Availablefrom:CommunityLaw

www.communitylaw.org.nz

Keeping you protected – enduring power of attorney

Asuiteofresourcesaboutenduringpowersofattorneyincludinginformation,worksheetsandforms.Availablefrom:OfficeforSeniorCitizens

www.osc.govt.nz/enduring-powers-of-attorney

Advance care planning

Resource list

Page 11: Conversations that Count...Introducing conversations that count What’s it all about? Traditionally, in New Zealand, many families are reluctant to think and talk about death and

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Understand the programme

Be clear about your roles and responsibilities

Contact the community group

Decide whether to agree to a community session

Make the arrangements

Part II

Preparing for a Session

Page 12: Conversations that Count...Introducing conversations that count What’s it all about? Traditionally, in New Zealand, many families are reluctant to think and talk about death and

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Conversations that Count is a pilot programme which aims to encourage conversations in communities about the treatment and care at the end of life. It does this by training volunteers, known as ‘communicators’, to get community groups talking about planning for death and dying.

As a communicator, your purpose is to help community groups hold their own discussions about planning for death and dying in a positive and productive way. You can do this by running sessions with interested community groups.

Programme Elements

Commitment•Anorganisationsuchasadistricthealthboardordisabilityorganisationagreestobeahost

fortheprogramme.•Atthetimeofwritingthistoolkit,AucklandDistrictHealthBoardistheonlyhostorganisation

asthisisapilotproject.

Expertise•ThehostorganisationappointsatrainerwhoisfamiliarwiththeConversationsthatCount

Programmeorhashadspecifictraining.•Thetrainerhasaccesstoacompaniondocumentwhichoutlinesthetrainingschedule.

Volunteers •Volunteersarerecruitedfromthelocalcommunity.

Training•Volunteershavetwodaysofintensivetrainingonthematerialinthetoolkitandtheskills

theywillneedintherole.Thesepeopleareknownascommunicators.

Community•Communicatorsrunsessionswithgroupsintheirlocalcommunity.

Evaluation•Communicatorsmeetasagroupwiththetraineraftertheyhavecompletedatleastone

sessiontoevaluatehowthesessionshavegoneandreceivefollow-upassistance.

Step one:

Understand the programme

Page 13: Conversations that Count...Introducing conversations that count What’s it all about? Traditionally, in New Zealand, many families are reluctant to think and talk about death and

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Before having contact with a community group you need to be clear about your roles and responsibilities and be able to explain these to other people.

What does a communicator do?Yourpurposeistohelpcommunitygroupsholdtheirowndiscussionsaboutplanningfordeathanddyinginapositiveandproductiveway.Youaretheretoprovideinspirationandhelpcommunitiesapplywhattheyhavelearnttotheirownsituation.

You do this by:

1.Sharinginformationandfacilitatingdiscussionsthatencourageandenablecommunitiestotalkabout:

•Deathanddying

•Preparingfordeath

•Thetreatmentsandcarepeoplemaywantattheendoftheirlives

2.Facilitatingdiscussionsthathelpcommunitiesworkthroughissuesanddecisionsforthemselves.

You are not there to:

•Giveformaladviceorguidanceorhelpacommunitytoresolvespecificissues

•Helpacommunitygrievearecentdeath(seenoteatbottomofpageforexception).

The communicator's responsibilitiesYourprimaryresponsibilityistothecommunityyouaresupporting.

You can do this by:

•Presentinginformationthathelpscommunitiestalkaboutandmanagethedecisionsforthemselves

•Helpingthecommunitygroupkeepsafe

•Rememberingthatyouarenotresponsibleforhelpingcommunitygroupsdealwithissues,makespecificdecisionsorprepareforspecificsituation(seenoteatbottomofpageforexception).

Yoursecondaryresponsibilityistoyourselfandyourcolleagues.

You can do this by:

•Helpingcommunitiesthatmatchyourbackgroundandskills(orthoseofyouandyourcolleaguesincombination),or

•Referringacommunitygrouptosomeonewhosebackgroundandexperiencebettermatchesthegroup’sneeds.

Note:Insomeinstancesifthecommunityhasparticipatedintheprogrammepreviously,youmaydecidetosupportagrouptoprepareforaspecificperson’sdeath(asinModule 16, Honouring the LegacyandModule 17, The Celebration).

Step two:

Be clear about your roles and responsibilities

Page 14: Conversations that Count...Introducing conversations that count What’s it all about? Traditionally, in New Zealand, many families are reluctant to think and talk about death and

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Once you understand the programme and are clear about your roles and responsibilities, you are ready to approach a group in your community to see if they are interested in a session.

Start by working out which groups to approach:Youcanbeginthisbybrainstormingallthedifferentgroupsyouhavearelationshipwith.Itisimportanttothinklaterallyhere:itmaybeaformalcommunitygroupsuchasasportsorchurchgrouporitmaybealessformalgroupsuchasasocialgroupatworkoracoffeeclub.

Youneedtobeawarethatsomecommunitiesmayprefertohavecommunicatorsthatareindependentofthecommunity,whileothersmaywantapartnership.

Next get in touch with the group and arrange a meeting with the community group leader or representative.AtthemeetingyoushouldexplaintheConversationsthatCountProgramme,yourrolesandresponsibilitiesandthetypeofsessionthatcouldbeoffered.

Atthemeetingfindoutthelevelofinterestfromthecommunitygroupandanyneedstheymayhave.

The following questions may help you:

• Whospecificallyisthesessionfor?

• Whatarethecommunitymemberslike?

• Howmanypeoplearelikelytoattendasession?

• Whatisthebackgroundorcontextthathasledtothemwantingasession?

• Whatresultsandoutcomesdotheywantfromthesession?

See Your First Meeting with a Community template (page 13)

Step three:

Contact the community group

TIPS

• Go to your first meeting well prepared. Have some ideas about which modules may suit the group.

• Be confident. Be able to articulate: > Why the topic is important > What your role is > How you can help

• "To overcome your fear the 'why' has to be big enough."

• Go to your first meeting well prepared. Have some ideas about which modules may suit the group.

• Be confident. Be able to articulate: > Why the topic is important > What your role is > How you can help

• "To overcome your fear the 'why' has to be big enough."

Page 15: Conversations that Count...Introducing conversations that count What’s it all about? Traditionally, in New Zealand, many families are reluctant to think and talk about death and

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Page 16: Conversations that Count...Introducing conversations that count What’s it all about? Traditionally, in New Zealand, many families are reluctant to think and talk about death and

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Decision time! Before agreeing to hold a community session it is important for you to assess:

• Whether the content of the session will be appropriate for the community, and

• Whether you are the best person to provide assistance to the community group

Somecommunitiesmayapproachyouwithsimpleorcomplexneeds,andfurther,theymaynotappreciatehowcomplextheirneedsare.Signsofpotentialcomplexitymightbearecentoranimpendingdeathinthecommunity,orconcernsovertopicssuchaseuthanasia,abortionandothercontroversies.

Somecommunitiesmayprefertohaveacommunicatorthatspeaksasapersonindependentofthecommunity,whileothersmaywantapartnershipsothatmemberswithinthecommunitymighttakealeadinfutureconversations.

Youcanusethequestionsbelowtoassesshowsimpleorcomplexthecommunity’sneedsareandwhetherthepreferredroleisindependentorpartnering.

How to decideTo assess the community’s needsTherearethreeinitialquestionsthatyoucanaskacommunitygrouptohelpassesstheirneeds.

1.Whospecificallyarethey?Forexample,howmanypeopleareinthegroup?

2.Whathasledthemtoaskfor(orshowaninterestinhaving)asession?

3.Whatresultsandoutcomesdotheywant?

To assess your involvement Answerthequestionsbelow.

•Isitacommunitygroupthatyoucanrelatetopersonally?Canthegroupeasilyrelatetoyou?

•Isthecommunitygroupbeingproactive?Aretheyagroupthathasnotrecentlyexperiencedadeath(orisnotexpectingonesoon)andthatdoesnotneedhelpgrieving?

•Isthecommunitygroupforward-lookingandwantingbetterwaystotalk,prepareandplan?Isthisagroupthatdoesnotwanttogrieveaspecificdeath(intherecentpastorimmediatefuture)?

•Overalldoesyourdecisionbestaddresstheneedsofthecommunity?Areyouensuringtheyreceivethebestsupporttheymostneedatthistime?

If you answered ’yes’ to all the questions and you can work with the group safely, then you may support the group.

If you answered ‘no’ to one or more of the questions or cannot work safely, then you need to work with colleagues or refer the community group to specialists.

Step four:

Decide whether to agree to a community session (or not)

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1.Onceyouandthecommunitygrouphavemadethedecisiontohaveasession,itisimportanttoformalisethearrangementssobothpartieshaveanunderstandingoftheaims,rolesandlimitsofthecommunicatorandthesession.Inmostcasesthiswouldinvolveyoudiscussingandsigningacommunitysessionagreementorsomethingsimilar.

SeeCommunity Session Agreement (page16)foranexample

2.Thenextstepistogothroughsomeofthedetails,suchas:

•Whoneedstobeontheteamforsettingupthesession?

•Whoneedstobeontheteamrunningthesession?

•Whatjobsneedtobedonebeforethesession?

•Whenandwherethesessionwillbeheld?

•Whatresourceswillyouneed?

Planning a Session template (page17)canhelpyouwiththis.

Things to note:

Step five:

Make the arrangements

If you need resources such as paper & pens, copies of evaluation forms and so on, ask the community group if they can provide them.

NOTE

You need to be confident enough

to say ‘no’ with dignity to a

community whose needs are too

complex or significant for the

programme or you as a volunteer.

But you also need ways to bring

in other experts, as well as

members of the community, if

the programme is still deemed

appropriate.

You need to be confident enough

to say ‘no’ with dignity to a

community whose needs are too

complex or significant for the

programme or you as a volunteer.

But you also need ways to bring

in other experts, as well as

members of the community, if

the programme is still deemed

appropriate.

It may also be that some communicators have skills that are advanced enough to help a needy community, with appropriate support.

It may also be that some communicators have skills that are advanced enough to help a needy community, with appropriate support.

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Community Session Agreement (Optional)

Communicator Aims1. Weaimtopresentinformationthathelpsyourcommunitygrouptoworkindependently

ontheissuesthatariseandanydecisionsthathavetobemade.

2. Weaimtodothisinwaysthataresafeandusefulforyourcommunitygroup,andsafeandresponsibleforus.

Communicator RoleWeaimtoshareinformationandfacilitatediscussionsthatencouragesandenablesyourcommunitygrouptotalkabout:

• Deathanddying

• Preparingfordeath

• Thetreatmentsandcarepeoplemaywantattheendoftheirlives

Communicator LimitsPlease note, we are unable to:

1.Giveadviceorguidance,helpyourcommunitygroupresolvespecificissuesormakedecisionsrelatedtodeathanddying

2.Helpyourcommunitygroupgrievearecentdeathorprepareforthedeathofaspecificmemberinthenearfuture(unlessyouhaveparticipatedintheprogrammepreviouslyanditisappropriateforustodothis)

3.Discusseuthanasiaandanyotherpracticeswhichareillegalorcontroversial

Whilewemightwanttohelp,weareneithertrainednortaskedtoprovidemorespecialisedsupport.Ifneededwewillhelpyoucontactspecialistswhocansupportyourcommunityappropriately.

Weagreetoworkundertheconditionsoutlinedabove.

Communicator:_________________________________________________________________

Communitygrouprepresentative:__________________________________________________

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Plan

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Page 21: Conversations that Count...Introducing conversations that count What’s it all about? Traditionally, in New Zealand, many families are reluctant to think and talk about death and

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Part III

Session modules

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ModulesThese are the modules for you

to use in your sessions with community groups. Apart from

the compulsory modules - Module 1, Session Opening and

Module 18, Session Closing – you can pick and choose from

the modules depending on the needs and abilities of the

community, your own personal style and preferences, and the

time available.

You can put your own spin on the exercises once you have

learnt the modules and become comfortable with them.

Starting a Session 21 01 Session Opening:Prepareagroupforthesessionahead

Thinking and talking about deathThese are the easier, less challenging modules which encourage communities to get started. They take between 20 and 40 minutes to complete.

Pg.

22 02 Finding the Words:Identifythewordspeopleusetotalkaboutdeathanddying

23 03 Four by Four:Identifyallthepositivethingsdeathcanmeanforpeople

25 04 Things to Know:Thinkaboutthebasicarrangementsneededtobemadeto preparefordeathanddying

27 05 Fears and Hopes:Identifyfearsandhopesaboutpreparingfordeathanddying

28 06 Facing Death:Identifytheamazingthingspeoplecansayanddowhenfaced bytheirowndeath

29 07 Death of a Pet:Reflectonhowthedeathofapetcanhelppeoplemanage thedeathofapersontheyknow

30 08 Expert Interviews:Talkconfidentlywithothersaboutpreparingfordeath anddying

Preparing for death and life afterwardsThese modules are more challenging and consequently will take longer. Most modules are likely to take between 30 and 60 minutes depending on the size of the group.

31 09 The Wall:Identifythethingsthatpreventpeoplepreparingfordeathanddying

33 10 The Gate:Managethethingsthatpreventpeoplepreparingfordeathanddying

35 11 Information Bank:Understandtherangeofissuesdeathposes

38 12 Make Friends with Death:Becomecomfortablewithdeath

39 13 Conversation Cards:Talkabouttheissuesandsituationsthatarisewhen someoneispreparingfordeath

Preparing for the death of someone you knowThese modules are the most challenging (for you and the community group) as they encourage participants to delve deeper in their thinking. These modules may take 60 minutes or longer.

43 14 Sharing your Wishes:Planforthedeathofsomeoneyouknow

44 15 The Boat:Looktolifebeyonddeathwithoutsomeoneyouknow

46 16 Honouring the Legacy:Exploredeepermeaningsinthelifeofthe personwhoisdying

48 17 The Celebration:Celebratethelifeofsomeoneyouknow

Ending a session49 18 Session Closing:Summmariseandreflectonthesession

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TIPS

What?Thisintroductorymoduleensuresthatthecommunitygroupispreparedforthesessionahead.

Why?Ifthecommunitygroupiswellpreparedforthesessionthenthingsarelikelytogomoresmoothly.

This is a compulsory module.

How?Followthesteps

Steps Prior to the session starting, complete the Planning a Session template (page 17)

•Participateinthewelcome(orpowhiri)bythecommunitygroup,observinganyspecificgroupprotocols.

•Participateinanyformalopeningofthesession,observinganyspecificgroupprotocols.

•Onceyouhavebeenintroduced,thankandacknowledgethecommunitygroup.

•Explainthepurposeofthesessionanditsbenefits.

•Summariseyourownexperiences.

•Giveanoutlineofthesessionincludingapproximatetimesandwhentherewillbebreaks.

•Checkforquestionsandaddressbeforemovingon.

•Finishandmoveontothenextmodule.

Materials ✏ Whiteboard

✏ Whiteboard markers

Session Opening Duration: approximately 15 minutes.

01

Focus on a positive, clear and confident start. Address any

difficulties immediately.

Acknowledge that during the modules participants may feel distressed or have a range of

emotions. Let them know that it’s okay to feel this way. After all, discussing death and dying

is a difficult topic.

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TIPS

What?Thisisafun,light-hearted,exploratorymoduletoidentifythewordspeopleusetotalkaboutdeathanddying.

Why?Peopleusedifferentwordstodescribedeathanddyingandit’simportanttobeawareofandabletousetherangeofwords.Thisintroductorymodulegeneratesdiscussionandraisesparticipants’awarenessofdifferentapproachestotalkingaboutdeathanddying.

How?Brainstormallthewordsparticipantscanthinkoftodescribedeath.Thiscanbedoneindividually,inbreakoutgroupsorinonelargegroup.

Steps •Introducethemodule.

•Askpeopletobrainstormandwritedownallthewordstheycanthinkoftodescribedeathanddying.Peoplecandothisindividually,inbreakoutgroupsorinonelargegroup.

•Explainthattherearenorightorwronganswers,allwordsandphrasesareacceptable.

•Oncethisiscompleted,askpeopletocalloutthephrasesandwordsusedandwritethemonthewhiteboard

•Askpeople:“Whatdoestherangeofwordssuggesttoyou?”

•Askpeopletosummarisewhattheyhavelearnt.“So,whatwearelearningis...?”

•Acknowledgehowwellpeoplehavedone.“You’vedonereallywell.It’samazinghowmanydifferentwaysyouhavefortalkingaboutdeathanddying.”

•Finishandmoveontothenextmodule.

Materials ✏ Whiteboard

✏ Whiteboard markers

✏ Pens and paper

Finding the Words talking about death Duration: approximately 20-30 minutes.

02

Ask people who's got the longest list and give a "round of applause".

Get people to read out the lists.

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What?Thisthoughtprovokingexercisehelpspeopleidentifyallthepositivethingsexperiencesofdeathcanmeanforpeople.

Why?Sometimespeople’swaysofthinkingandtalkingaboutdeathcanpreventthemdealingwithit.Learningbetterwaystothinkandtalkaboutdeathcanhelppeoplefindstrengthanddignity.

How?Inbreakoutgroups,brainstormallthepositivethingsexperiencesofdeathcanmeanforparticipants.

Steps• Introducethemodule.

•Askparticipantstobreakintogroupsandsitincircles.

•Makesureeachgrouphasthehandout:Four by Fourtemplate,pens,post-itnotesandalargesheetofpaper.AskeachgrouptocopytheFour by Fourtemplateontothelargesheetofpaper.

•Askgroupstobrainstormandwritedownonpost-itnotesallthepositivethingsexperiencesofdeathcanmeanforpeople.Allow10-15minutesforpeopletodothis.

•Askgroupstoplacethepost-itnotesontotheirlargesheet.

•Whenthisisdone,askpeopletoreflectbackonwhattheyhavelearnt.

•Summarisewhattheylearnt(intheirwords).

•Finishandmoveontothenextmodule.

Materials ✏ Large sheet of paper and pens for each group

✏ Module 03 handout: Four by Four template (page 24)

03

Remain positive, open minded and upbeat

and encourage others to do the same.

Four by Four ways people think and talk about deathDuration: approximately 20-40 minutes.

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TIPS

What?Thisexploratorymodulehelpspeoplethinkaboutthebasicarrangementstheyneedtomaketopreparefordeathanddying.

Why?Deathanddyingcanseemdifficulttodealwithbuttherearealotofservicesandpeoplewhoarereadytohelp.

Bythinkingaboutandplanningforthebasicarrangementspeoplecanmakethingsmucheasierandmuchlessstressfultodealwith.

How?Ingroups,participantsdiscusstheinformationandresourcesaboutpreparingfordeathanddying.

Steps •Introducethemodule.

•Withthewholegroup,brainstormallthethingsparticipantswanttolearnaboutpreparingfordeathanddying.Writetheseonthewhiteboard.

•Inbreakoutgroups,giveeachgroupseveralcopiesofthehandouts.Askparticipantsto:

1.Readtheinformationlookingforanswerstotheirquestions,

2.Discusswhattheyhavefoundwithintheirgroups,and

3.Makeaplanforfindingoutinformationthatismissing.

•Askeachbreakoutgrouptopresenttheirunderstandingoftheinformationbacktothewholegroupusingtheirownwords.

•Leadaninteractivediscussionabouttheinformationaskingeachgrouptoreflectbackonwhattheyhavelearnt.

•Summarisewhattheylearnt(intheirwords).

•Finishandmoveontothenextmodule.

Materials ✏ Whiteboard and whiteboard markers

✏ Advance care planning resource list (page 8)

✏ Module 04 handout: FAQs about Death and Dying (page 26)

✏ Advance Care Planning leaflet

✏ Making the most of your final years leaflet

✏ My Advance Care Planning guide

Things to Know talking about preparingDuration: approximately 20-40 minutes.

04

Acknowledge difficulties groups may be having and

encourage self-initiated exploration.

Focus on a positive, interesting and interactive tone.

Page 28: Conversations that Count...Introducing conversations that count What’s it all about? Traditionally, in New Zealand, many families are reluctant to think and talk about death and

26

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TIPS

What?Thisopen-mindedandexploratorymodulehelpspeopleidentifyanddiscusstheirfearsandhopesaboutpreparingfordeathanddying.

Why?Manythingscanmakepeopleanxiousandafraidorhopefulandoptimistic.Talkingaboutthesefeelingshelpspeoplelearnhowtomanagethem.Forexample,fearsthatcanstoppeoplesleepingatnightmayseemsillyduringtheday.Talkingfearsthroughcanmakeallthedifference.

How?Ingroups,writedownthefearsandhopesaboutpreparingfordeathandtalkabouthowtoexpressthesetoothers.

Steps •Introducethemodule.

•Askeachgrouptositinacircle.

•Giveeachgroupabowlandaskthemtoplaceitinthecentre.

•Askparticipantstowritedowntheirfearsaboutpreparingfordeathanddying–one‘fear’persheetofpaper–andplacetheseinthebowl.Aftershufflingthepiecesofpaper,eachpersondrawsoneoutandtalksaboutthefearandhowtheymightexplainittosomeoneelse.

•Wheneveryonehashadachancetotalkrepeatthesameprocessbutthistimegetpeopletowritedowntheir‘hopes’aboutdeathanddying.

•Askthewholegroup:“Whatarewelearning?Whatdifferencedoesthismakeforus?”

•Summarisewhattheylearnt(intheirwords).

•Acknowledgehowwellpeoplehavedone:“You’vedoneverywelltoexpressyourfearsandhopes.Expressingbothgivesyouwaystothinkaboutandprepareforadeathwithgreaterdignity.Congratulations.”

•Finishandmoveontothenextmodule.

Materials ✏ Sheets of paper or post-it notes & pens

✏ A large bowl (or similar object) for each group

Fears and Hopes in a Bowl talking about feelingsDuration: approximately 20-40 minutes.

05

Encourage people to talk, share and stay focused on the positive.

If a participant has trouble talking, ask others to gently

encourage them and support them. If a person does not want to talk, ask someone else to talk

on his or her behalf.

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TIPS

What?Thiscreativemodulehelpspeopleidentifytheamazingthingstheycansayanddowhenfacedbytheirowndeath.

Why?Deathanddyingcanbringoutthebestinpeople.Recognisingthiscanhelppeopleseethewholepicture,notjustthebadstuff.

How?Ingroups,participantssharestoriesaboutthewayspeopletheyknowfaceduptoandpreparedfortheirowndeath.

Steps • Introducethemodule.

• Inbreakoutgroups,getparticipantstorecallandsharestoriesaboutthewayspeopletheyknowhavefaceduptoandpreparedfordeath.Askpeopletokeepstoriesfocusedonthepositiveandhowpeopledealwithpreparationssuccessfully.

• Getthewholegrouptodiscuss:“Whatarethewayspeopledealwithdeath?Whatdoesthissuggestforus?”

• Summarisewhattheylearnt(intheirwords).

• Acknowledgehowwellpeoplehavedone:“You’vedoneverywelltoshareyourstoriesandexpressyourfeelings.Congratulations.”

• Finishandmoveontothenextmodule.

Facing Death talking about death and dyingDuration: approximately 20-30 minutes.

06

Not everyone in the group needs to share a story.

If stories are limited ask people to focus on and amplify even

the smallest examples of what worked well.

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TIPS

What?Thiscreativemodulehelpspeopleindentifythingstheycansayabouttheirownexperiencesofsomeoneelse’sdeathanddying.

Why?Talkingaboutdeathanddyingofpetscanhelppeoplelearnhowtomanageadeathwhenit’ssomeonetheyknow.

How?• Individuallyorinbreakoutgroups,

participantsimagineapettheylovehasdiednaturallyandthendescribetheirlikelyexperiences.

• Thismoduleworksbestwithcreativeandopen-mindedgroups.

Steps •Introducethemodule.

•Individuallyorinbreakoutgroups,askparticipantstoimaginethatapettheylovehasdiednaturally.Thenaskparticipantstodescribewhattheirexperiencesmightbeduringandafterthedeathoftheirpetusingwords,imagesandanythingelsetheywant.

•Getthewholegrouptodiscuss:“Whatarewelearningaboutdealingwithdeath?Whatdifferencesdoesthismakeforus?”

•Acknowledgehowwellpeoplehavedone:“You’vedoneverywelltoshareyourstoriesandexpressyourfeelings.Congratulations.”

•Finishandmoveontothenextmodule.

Materials ✏ Paper and pens

Death of a Pettalking about death and dyingDuration: approximately 20-30 minutes.

07

For those working in groups: if a participant has trouble

talking, ask others to gently encourage them and support

them to talk.

Encourage participants to share and explore ideas.

Note: for many people the death of pet and its impact goes unacknowledged by

other people.

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What?Thisinteractivemodulehelpspeopletalkconfidentlywithothersaboutpreparingfordeathanddying.

Why?Itisimportanttohaveaknowledgeable,confidentapproachwhentalkingwithotherpeopleaboutdeathanddying.

How?Insmallgroupsof3or4,role-playaTVinterviewwithparticipantsplayingthepartofinterviewer,expertandaudience.

Thismoduleworksbestwithconfidentgroups.

Steps • Introducethemodule.

• Ingroupsof3or4,askpeopletorole-playaTVchatshow.Askparticipantstotakethepartsoftheinterviewer,theexpertandtheaudience.

• Theintervieweraskstheexpertquestionsaboutpreparingfordeathanddying.

• Peopleintheaudiencecanalsoaskquestions.

• Afterwards,getthewholegrouptodiscusswhattheyhavelearnt.

• Summarisewhatthegrouphaslearnt(usingtheirwords).

• Finishandmoveontothenextmodule.

Materials ✏ Paper and pens

Expert Interviews talking about preparing for death and dying Duration: approximately 20-30 minutes.

08

Encourage confident, positive and genuine interactions.

Encourage groups to manage any difficulties themselves.

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TIPS

What?Thisexploratorymodulehelpspeopleidentifythethingsthatpreventthemfrompreparingfordeathanddying.

Why?Manythingscanpreventpeoplepreparingfordeathanddyingincludingbeliefs,feelingsandpracticalities.Identifyingthesecanmakepreparationeasierandbeneficialforeveryone.

How?• Individuallyoringroups

ofanysize,workthrough The Wall template.

• ThismoduleworkswellifitisfollowedbyModule10,The Gate.

Steps • Introducethemodule.

• Decidewhetheryouaregoingtodothismoduleindividuallyoringroups.

• AskeachparticipantorgrouptoworkthroughThe Wall template.Startwiththelefthandside:“Whatpreventsyoufrompreparingfordeathanddying?”Thenmovetotherighthandside:“Whatwoulddeathanddyingbelikeifyoutalkedandpreparedbetter?”

• Afterthetemplatehasbeencompletedgetthewholegrouptodiscusswhattheyarelearningabouttheirlostopportunities.

• Acknowledgehowwellpeoplehavedone:“It’sgreatthatwecannowseebothsidesofpreparing–thebarriersandthethingswegain.Animportantnextstepistolookathowwecanmanagethese.”

• Finishandmoveontothenextmodule.Module10,The Gateisrecommended.

Materials ✏ Whiteboard and markers

✏ Paper and pens

✏ Module 09 handout, The Wall template (page 32).

The Wall barriers to preparing for death and dyingDuration: approximately 30-60 minutes.

09

Keep the focus open-minded and exploratory and remind

participants to focus on preparing for death.

Time management is important. So, make sure enough time is given for participants to complete the right hand side of the

template.

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TIPS

What?Thisexploratorymodulehelpspeoplemanagethethingsthathavepreventedthemfrompreparingfordeathanddying.

Why?Manythingscanpreventpeoplepreparingfordeathanddyingincludingbeliefs,feelingsandpracticalities.Managingthesecanmakepreparationeasierandbeneficialforeveryone.

How?• Individuallyoringroupsofany

size,workthroughThe Gate template.

• ThismoduleworkswellifitiscompletedafterModule09,The Wall.

Steps • Introducethemodule.

• Decidewhetheryouaregoingtodothismoduleindividuallyoringroups.

• AskeachparticipantorgrouptoworkthroughThe Gate template.Startwiththelefthandside:“Whatcouldyoudotomakepreparingfordeathanddyingeasier?”Thenmovetotherighthandside:“Listuptothreethingsthatwouldmakethemostdifferenceforyourightnow.”

• Afterthetemplatehasbeencompletedgetthewholegrouptodiscusswhattheyarelearningabouttheirlostopportunities.

• Acknowledgehowwellpeoplehavedone:“It’sgreatthatwecannowidentifywaysofmanagingpreparingfordeathanddying.”

• Finishandmoveontothenextmodule.

Materials ✏ Whiteboard and markers

✏ Paper and pens

✏ Module 10 handout, The Gate template (page 34).

The Gate ways to help prepare for death and dyingDuration: approximately 30-60 minutes.

10

Keep the focus open-minded and exploratory and remind

participants to focus on preparing for death.

Time management is important. So, make sure enough time is given for

participants to complete the right hand side of the template.

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34

The

Gate

tem

plat

e

Wh

at c

ould

you

do

to

mak

e p

rep

arin

g fo

r d

eath

an

d d

yin

g ea

sier

?

Wh

at 1

- 3

th

ings

wou

ld

mak

e th

e m

ost

dif

fere

nce

fo

r yo

u n

ow?

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TIPS

What?Thisexploratorymodulehelpspeoplebecomeawareofandunderstandtherangeofissuesdeathposes.

Why?Deathposesarangeofissues.Whenpeopleknowwhocanhelpwiththesetheycanavoidexperiencingsomeofthestressanddifficulties.

ThisissimilartoModule04:Things to Knowbutisdesignedforworkingwithacommunitythatneedspracticalsolutionstospecificinformationneeds.

How?Inbreakoutgroups,brainstormtheissuesaboutpreparingfordeathandwhomightbeabletohelpwiththese.Makeaplantofindoutanyadditionalinformationneeded.

Steps • Introducethemodule.

• Askparticipantstobrainstormalltheissuesrelatedtopreparingfordeaththattheycanthinkof.Thisincludesfinancial,legal,practical,emotionalandsocialissues.WritetheissuesontheInformation Bank templates.

• Thenreviewanyinformationtheyhaveandfillinthecontactdetailsforasmanysourcesastheycan.

• Identifyanygapsinthehandoutsandsuggestothersourcesofinformation.

• Getthewholegrouptodiscusswhattheyhavelearnt.

• Finishandmoveontothenextmodule.

Materials ✏ Pieces of paper or post-it notes and pens

✏ Module 11 handouts: Information Bank templates 1 and 2 (pages 36 & 37)

✏ Resource List (page 8) and FAQs about Death and Dying (page 26)

✏ Insert 01: Advance care planning

✏ Insert 02: Making the most of your final years

✏ Insert 03: Advance care planning guide

Information Bank preparing for death and dyingDuration: approximately 30-60 minutes.

11

During the brainstorm encourage participants to freely share information.

Be positive and supportive.

Answer any questions participants may have and ask

others to help a person with any difficulties.

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Info

rmat

ion

Bank

tem

plat

e 1

Wh

at a

re t

he

fin

anci

al, l

egal

an

d p

ract

ical

iss

ues

?W

ho

mig

ht

be

able

to

hel

p y

ou w

ith

th

ese

issu

es?

Nam

eC

onta

ct d

etai

ls

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37

Info

rmat

ion

Bank

tem

plat

e 2

Wh

at a

re t

he

emot

ion

al

and

soc

ial

issu

es?

Wh

o m

igh

t b

e ab

le t

o h

elp

you

wit

h t

hes

e is

sues

?

Nam

eC

onta

ct d

etai

ls

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38

TIPS

What?Thismodulehelpspeoplebecomecomfortabledealingwithdeath.

Why?Sometimespeopleavoidthinkingandtalkingaboutdeath.Byacknowledgingandaddressingthistheycanlearntobemorepracticalandusefulwhendealingwithdeathanditseffectsonotherpeople.

How?Ingroupsof3or4,role-play‘Death’asifheorshewasanordinarytradespersonworkingintheneighbourhood.

Thismoduleworksbestwithconfidentcommunities.

Steps • Introducethemodule.

• Ingroupsof3or4,askpeopletorole-play‘Death’asifheorshewasanordinarytradespersonworkingintheneighbourhood.Getonepersonineachgrouptoplaythepartof'Death’andasktheotherstobefriendDeath.

• AsktheotherstolearnaboutDeath’sambitions,fears,values,skillsandbehaviours.ThenaskthemtolearnhowDeathwantspeopletopreparetomakeDeath’sworkeasier.

• Attheendoftherole-playaskthewholegrouptoreflectonwhattheylearnt.

• Summarisewhattheylearnt(intheirwords).

• Finishandmoveontothenextmodule.

Materials ✏ Paper and pens

Make Friends with Death talking about preparing Duration: approximately 30-60 minutes.

12

Encourage people to stay in role. If they have difficulty, ask others to

support them.

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39

TIPS

What?Thismodulehelpspeopleexplorewaysoftalkingaboutthedifferentissuesandsituationsthatarisewhensomeoneispreparingfordeath.

Why?Exploringthetopicsandpracticingconversationscanhelppeoplepreparefordeathanddying.

How?Inbreakoutgroups,usetheConversation Cards topromptdiscussionsaboutdeathanddying.

Steps• Introducethemodule.

• Giveeachgrouparandomconversationcard(orgetthemtopickonethemselvesatrandom).

• Askgroupstolookatthepictureonthecardandselectatopicrelatedtodeathanddyingthatthepicturecouldrepresent.Forexample,Conversation2couldrepresentalistofthingstodotopreparefordeathoralistofpeopleadyingpersonmayneedtotalkto.

• Oncethegrouphasagreedonwhattopicthepicturerepresentstothem,getthemtodiscussthetopic.Thediscussionmayinvolveonepersonaskingquestionsofanothersotheycanpracticetalking,orparticipantstestingtheirownknowledgeofthetopic.

• Attheendofthediscussion,askthewholegroup:“Howdidyoufindtalkingabouttherangeofissuesandsituationsthatcanarise?”

• Summarisewhattheylearnt(intheirwords).

• Acknowledgehowwellpeoplehavedone:“It’samazinghowmanydifferentwaysyouhaveoftalkingaboutdeathanddying.”

• Finishandmoveontothenextmodule.

Materials ✏ Post-it notes and pens

✏ Module 13 handouts, Conversation Cards 1-12 (pages 40 - 42)

Conversation Cardstalking about preparing for death and dyingDuration: approximately 30-60 minutes.

13

Encourage participants to think laterally, share stories

and explore alternatives.

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40

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41

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42

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TIPS

14

What?Thismodulehelpspeopleplanforthedeathofsomeonetheyknow.

Why?Peoplecantrytoohardtocarefortheirlovedoneandthiscancausedisagreementsandstress.Whencarerssharetheirwishesinrelationtoadeathinapositivewayitcanbringfamilies/friendstogether,helpspreadtheburdenandsupporteachotheraswellasthedyingperson.

How?Asagroup,brainstormtheissuesassociatedwithpreparingforaperson’sdeathandthendevelopaplan.

Thismoduleisdesignedforconfidentcommunitieswhoarepreparingforanindividual’sdeathand,ifappropriate,thedyingpersonmayparticipate.

Thismodulesuitscommunitygroupsthathavealreadyparticipatedintheprogrammepreviouslyandhavecompletedanumberofmoduleswiththecommunicator.

Steps • Introducethemodule.

• Askthewholegrouptobrainstormtheissuesassociatedwithplanningfortheperson’sdeath.Writeeachideaonapost-itnoteandstickitonthewall.

• Whenthegrouphasfinishedbrainstormingaskthemtoarrangethepost-itnotesbythemesorpersonresponsible.

• Askthegrouptowriteaplanonthelargesheetofpaper.Youwillneedtofacilitatethis.Duringthisprocessaskpeopletorespectandsupporteachother,sharingtheloadgenerously.

• ParticipantscanthencopytheirrolesandtasksontoA4sheets.

• Askthegrouptoreflectontheprocessandwhattheylearntabouttalkingandworkingtogether.

• Summarisewhattheyhavelearnt(intheirwords).

• Finishandmoveontothenextmodule.

Materials ✏ A4 paper, large sheet of paper, post-it notes and pens

Sharing your Wishes preparing for a deathDuration: approximately 60+ minutes.

This is a difficult module and participants may get upset and experience conflicts. You will

need to be positive and support the group’s desire to be practical

and plan, in spite of upsets.

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TIPS

15

What?Thismodulehelpspeoplebuildawayofdealingwithdeathandlookingtolifebeyonditwithoutsomeonetheyknow.

Why?Sometimespeoplecanfeelveryalonewhensomeonetheyloveisdying.Bypreparingfordeathandthefuturepeoplecanlearntoseedeathinthecontextoflife.

How?Inbreakoutgroups,participantsusethemetaphorof‘aboat’,ie,goingonajourney,toexplorethechallengespeoplefaceaheadandthewaysthattheycandealwiththese.

Steps• Introducethemodule.

• UsingtheThe Boat template,askgroupstodiscussthechallengestheyfaceandhowtheywouldaddressthemfromthetimeofaperson’sfuneral.

• Writeeachideaonapost-itnoteandstickitonthewall.

• Whenthegroupshavefinishedbrainstormingaskthemtoarrangethepost-itnotesbythemes.

• Askthewholegrouptoreflectontheprocessandwhattheylearntabouttalkingandworkingtogether.

• Summarisewhattheyhavelearnt(intheirwords).

• FinishandmoveontoModule18,Session Closing.

Materials ✏ Post-it notes and pens

✏ Module 15 handout, The Boat template (page 45).

The Boat preparing for death and lives beyond Duration: approximately 60+ minutes.

During the brainstorm encourage participants to focus on the future and stay positive.

Ask participants to support those needing help.

Page 47: Conversations that Count...Introducing conversations that count What’s it all about? Traditionally, in New Zealand, many families are reluctant to think and talk about death and

45

The

Boat

tem

plat

e

Wh

at c

an t

he

futu

re

hol

d f

or u

s as

a

resu

lt o

f th

is?

Wh

o is

in t

he

boat

an

d s

har

ing

this

w

ith

us?

Wh

at c

an k

eep

us

safe

an

d s

tron

g d

uri

ng

th

is t

ime?

Wh

at a

re t

he

chal

len

ges

of m

ovin

g ah

ead

?

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TIPS

16

What?Thismodulewillhelppeoplebuildawayofdealingwithdeathbyexploringdeepermeaningsinthelifeofthepersonwhoisdying.

Why?Sometimespeoplecanfeelthatdeathistheendorthatsomethingistakenawayfromthemforever.Butitisalsoatimewhenpeoplecanrecognisethestrengthsandvaluesthathavebeenpassedontoothergenerations.Thiscanbeaveryspiritualtime.

How?Ingroups(orinonelargegroup),participantsdiscussthehistoryandexperiencesofthepersonwhoisdyingandthelegacytheyareleaving.

Onlydothismoduleifthecommunitygrouphasparticipatedintheprogrammepreviouslyandyouareconfidentinyourabilitiestomanagethecomplexemotionswhichmayariseforpeople.

Steps • Introducethemodule.

• UsingtheHonouring the Legacytemplate,askgroupstodiscussthehistoryandexperiencesofthepersonwhoisdying,howthepersondealtwiththeseexperiences,thestrengthsandopportunitiestheyaregivingpeopleandwhatthefuturemayholdasaresult.

• Askthegroupstostartthediscussionasfarbackinhistoryastheycan.

• Writeeachresponseorthoughtonapost-itnoteandstickitonthewall.

• Whenthegroupshavefinishedthediscussionaskthemtoarrangethepost-itnotesbythemes.

• Askthewholegrouptoreflectontheprocessandwhattheylearnt.

• Summarisewhattheylearnt(intheirwords).

• FinishandmoveontoModule18,Session Closing.

Materials ✏ Post-it notes and pens

✏ Module 16 handout, Honouring the Legacy template (page 47).

Honouring the Legacypreparing for life after a loved one’s deathDuration: approximately 60+ minutes.

During the brainstorm encourage participants to

focus on the future and stay positive. Ask participants to support those needing help.

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47

Hono

urin

g th

e Le

gacy

tem

plat

e

Wh

at c

an t

he

futu

re

hol

d f

or u

s as

a

resu

lt o

f th

is?

Wh

at s

tren

gth

s an

d

opp

ortu

nit

ies

are

they

gi

vin

g u

s?

How

did

th

e p

erso

n

dea

l wit

h t

hes

e

and

su

ccee

d?

Wh

at h

isto

ries

an

d

exp

erie

nce

s sh

aped

th

e p

erso

n's

life

?

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TIPS

17

What?Thismodulehelpspeopleshareideasforcelebratingalifebeforethepersondies.

Why?Sometimespeopledon’treflectonsomeone’slifeuntilattheperson’sfuneralortangi.Celebratingalifewhilethepersonisalivecanbeverymovingandawonderfulwayofexpressingloveandrespect.

How?Asagroup,participantsdiscussideasforhowtocelebratesomebody’slifeandagreeonideassothatplanningcanstart.

Thismoduleisbeingdonebeforethelifeendssoifappropriatethedyingpersoncanbeincluded.

Onlydothismoduleifthecommunitygrouphasparticipatedintheprogrammepreviouslyandyouareconfidentinyourabilitiestomanagethecomplexemotionswhichmayariseforpeople.

Steps• Introducethemodule.

• Getthegrouptositinacircleandaskthemtobrainstorm:“Howwecanbestcelebratethislife?”

• Writetheideasonawhiteboardorlargesheetofpaper.

• Afterthebrainstormiscompeted,tryanddecideon1-3keywaysofcelebratingsothattheplanningcanstart.

• Askparticipantstoreflectontheexperienceofworkingtogetheronacelebration.

• Summarisewhattheyhaveexperiencedandcongratulatethem.

• FinishandmoveontoModule18,Session Closing.

Materials ✏ Paper and pens

The Celebrationcelebrating a lifeDuration: approximately 60+ minutes.

During the brainstorm encourage participants to

think laterally, share stories and explore alternatives.

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TIPS

Once you have completed your session it is important that you take the opportunity to reflect on how the session went and

what could be done differently. This is often best done a few days after the session when

you have had the opportunity to recover from the stress and busyness of the day and have gained the perspective that

time gives, but while things are still fresh enough for you to remember things accurately.

What?Thisfinalmoduleprovidestheopportunityforthecommunitygrouptosummariseandreflectonthesession.

Why?Itisimportantthatthecommunitygroupisabletoreflectonwhatmayhavebeenadifficultsessionforthemandtohavetheopportunitytoconsideranyfuturestepstheymaywanttotake.

This is a compulsory module.

How?Followthestepsbelow.

18

Steps• Reviewtheinformationonthewhiteboardandsheetsand

summarise.

• Discusswiththecommunitygroupwhatthenextstepsareandtheircommitmenttofutureuseoftheinformation.

• Checkthatthecommunitygroupisreadytofinishthenaskforanyclosingcomments.

• Askparticipantstofillinthefeedbackform:"AsthisisanewprojectIamgoingtohandoutanevaluationformforyoutocomplete.Ifyouknowofanothergroupwhowouldlikeasession,pleasewriteitontheform."

• Focusonapositive,clearandconfidentend.

• Thankandacknowledgethecommunitygroupforworkingonthistogether.

Materials ✏ Whiteboard and whiteboard markers

✏ Module 18 handout: Your Feedback on the Session (page 50).

Session ClosingDuration: approximately 15 minutes.

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50

At

the

end

of

th

e se

ssio

nD

uri

ng

the

sess

ion

At

the

star

t of

th

e se

ssio

n

Your

Fe

edba

ck

on th

e

Sess

ion

Plea

se g

ive

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you

r fe

edb

ack

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nit

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icki

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epre

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elin

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?

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ReferencesAdvanceCarePlanningCooperative.2011.AdvanceCarePlanningGuide.PlanningfortheMedicalTreatmentandCareYouWantintheFuture.Auckland,N.Z.

Health&DisabilityCommissioner.2004.“CodeofHealthandDisabilityServicesConsumers’RightsRegulations1996”.Health&DisabilityCommissioner.www.hdc.org.nz/the-act--code/the-code-of-rights.

MinistryofHealth.2011.AdvanceCarePlanning:aGuidefortheNewZealandHealthCareWorkforce.Wellington,N.Z.:MinistryofHealth.

Inserts InsertedintothistoolkitaresomeNewZealandresourceswhichmayhelp.Theseare:

1. Advance care planning: Preparing for end of life.

2. Making the most of your final years: Practical and spiritual things to think about and plan for end of life.

3. Advance care planning guide: Planning for the medical treatment and care you want in the future.

Extracopiesoftheseresourcescanbedownloadedfromwww.advancecareplanning.org.nz

Page 54: Conversations that Count...Introducing conversations that count What’s it all about? Traditionally, in New Zealand, many families are reluctant to think and talk about death and

Published in August 2012 by Auckland District Health Board.

ISBN 978-0-473-22275-8 (ringbinder)

ISBN 978-0-473-22276-5 (PDF)

Disclaimer:This project was sponsored with funding from the Health Quality & Safety Commission as part of the Quality & Safety Challenge 2012. Publishing of project resources on the Commission’s website does not necessarily constitute endorsement of the views or approach taken by the project, the Commission’s intent in publishing is to showcase the achievements of the Challenge projects and share learnings across the health sector.