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Dealing with Teens During Adolescence By: Lena Richardson & Kendra Wenning

By: Lena Richardson & Kendra Wenning. Adolescence literally means to grow into adulthood : onset of puberty --> adulthood Adolescence is a time of confusion

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Dealing with Teens During Adolescence

Dealing with Teens During AdolescenceBy: Lena Richardson & Kendra Wenning1What is adolescence?Adolescence literally means to grow into adulthood :onset of puberty --> adulthood

Adolescence is a time of confusion and sensitivity to ones outward appearance.

Jaffe, 1998 ,P.192Question

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Understanding Adolescent Developmental Stages

Aspects of DevelopmentEarly Adolescence Ages 10-13Middle Adolescence Ages 14-16Late Adolescence Ages 17-19Physical*Significant physical/Sexual Maturation*Intense concern with body image*Continuing physical/sexual changes*Less concern with body image*Physical/sexual changes complete*Greater acceptance of physical appearanceCognitive*Concrete thinking*Growth of capacity to think abstractly*Capacity for abstract thought in place Table 1 (1999) 4Developmental Stages (cont)

Aspects of DevelopmentEarly Adolescence Ages 10-13Middle Adolescence Ages 14-16Late Adolescence Ages 17-19Emotional*Growing independence in decision-making*Development of sense of identity*Exploration of ability to attract partners begins*Sense of identity establishedSocial *Increasing influence of peersFeeling attracted to others begins*Enormous influence of peers/school environment*Increase in sexual interest*Serious intimate relationships begin to develop Table 1 (1999) 5Developmental Stages (cont)Aspects of DevelopmentEarly Adolescence Ages 10-13Middle Adolescence Ages 14-16Late Adolescence Ages 17-19Behavioral*Experimenting with new ways of behaving begins*Risk-taking behavior*Capacity for realistic risk assessment

Table 1 (1999) 6How do they feel?Affected by:Media portrayals

Views of peers

Economic situation

Parental relationships

Causes:Body Image/self esteem issuesNeeding Acceptance, following the crowdInsecurity, depression, anxietyConfusion, anger, sadness(Reamer, Siegel, & Fritz 2009)

7Characteristics of AdolescentsLets incorporate our knowledge to understanding actions: (fill in the blank)Because of _______ (Physical , Cognitive, Emotional, Social, Behavioral) developmental changes, child may feel ________.

ConfusedSensitive Embarrassed Frustrated 8Feelings ActionsHow do these feelings lead to actions:If you feel ____________ how do you usually react?ScaredInferiorFrustratedAngryDisappointedAshamed

Ask parents to participate in this portion of the presentation by giving examples of how they act/react when they feel the emotions listed. Example: How do you act/react when you are scared?9Negative InteractionsWhat about how y0u talk with your adolescent?

Examples

How can we use our knowledge when interacting with our teen?

Ask parents to give examples of some negative interactions that occur between themselves and their teen. Typical fights/situations that occur between them and their teenager. Connect last question with next slide10Now, YOU be the kid!Activity Time

Presenter has parents play teen charades. The counselor gives volunteer a slip of paper to act out a typical situation teens may experience. The volunteer then acts out the situation from the teens perspective. (Have 2 or 3 situations ready)11Questions/AnswersAspects of DevelopmentStages of Adolescent DevelopmentPhysicalEarly Adolescence (10-13)CognitiveEmotionalMiddle Adolescence (14-16)SocialBehavioralLate Adolescence (17-19)

The counselor then asks for the parents to discuss amongst themselves: What stage of development is the teen in? Why are they acting the way they are? (physical, social, cognitive, emotional, and/or behavioral aspects)

12Your TeenUnderstanding your teen can be difficult. While you are struggling to understand what is going on with your teen, your teen is trying to understand who they are and what is going on as well.

Your teen is in a transition period where he or she is trying to figure out four major questions.

*OKAY SO WERE GOING TO BEGIN DISCUSSING YOUR TEEN & OPPORTUNITIES FOR COMMUNICATION*

How many parents in the audience have teens?Give me some instances (or examples of) when you and your teen bump heads.What would you say are some effective ways parents could better communicate with your teen?

Anybody want to guess what those questions are? 13Four Major Questions?Who am I?Am I normal?Am I competent?Am I lovable and loving?

Table 3, 1999

14Set the ToneGive your child freedom to explore his/her world so that he/she can answer the question Who Am I.

Give your child room to be like their peersfitting in helps adolescents feel normal.

Assist adolescents with their problems and challenges but do not solve them.

Adolescents develop best when they have supportive families and community life.

Praying for your children is one of the best ways to love them (Towns & Earley, 2010, p. 17).

Table 3, 1999

To address the question of who am I you want to remember to: Give your child space. Allow your teen to do little simple things and build upon those things depending on how much you think your teen can handle. (If your teen does something wrong, ends up being somewhere he/she shouldnt bethen you take away the freedoms they initially had.) But for the most part, give your child space to explore and learn his/her world.

Now I understand sometimes fitting in may not be the best situation especially if they are experimenting with drugs and alcohol to fit in, but if they are wearing mix matched socks or wearing one earring or something thats not detrimental or harmful to their health and well-being you can give them a little freedom to fit in w/ their peers but also at the same time youll want to explain to them how being different and unique is okay too.

They are competent enough to come up w/ solutions so let them. They may not be the best solutions but thats where parenting comes into play for you to redirect them.

Your teens want to be loved. They want discipline in their lives and they want to be loved.15Positive Interactions

Spend time doing something your adolescent wants to do. (Movies, Mall, Bowling, Skiing, Skydiving, etc).Open Mic Night/Family VacationsSchedule TimeShare a personal experience or example.16 Connecting Getting close to your teen requires your effort to understand what he or she is experiencing (Cline & Fay, 2006, p. 95).

17Effective CommunicationPractice active listening.

Focus on the positive.

Create opportunities for communication.

Avoid power struggles and confrontations.

Remember it is natural for communication to decrease during adolescence.

http://www.eckerdacademy.org/articles/ten-communication-strategies-for-parents-of-teenagers.html

Listen carefully to what your teen is saying. (If that means you have to stop chopping the vegetables for dinner or stop sending an email than do that) so that you can hear and understand what your child is saying and youll also be showing your child you care.

We can always find the negative in everything, but theres always a positive if you work/listen to find it.

If youre used to eating on the go or making dinner but mom goes to the computer to finish work she brought home and dad eats sitting on the couch; try having dinner together where everyone in the family eats at the dinner table with no cell phones, no television, no nothingand talk about how your day went, what you enjoyed about the day, how you helped someone, or what stressed you out. This is a great opportunity for communication to happen. 18Knowing your teenKnow your teen and whats out of the normal.Know your teens schedule.Know your teens friends.

***If your teen usually comes in from school and is talkative from the time he/she walks in until the time he/she goes to bed but then he/she starts coming in and going straight to his/her room, not saying anything to anybody, then something has happened and you need to notice that difference and see whats going on with your child.

***Know what your child does and when he/she does it.

***Know your teens friends. Who their friends are, their parents, where they live, what they do, everything you can find out. The child may be upset about your obsessive need to know everything but if something were to happenyoull feel better and glad that you were so thorough in knowing everything you should know as an involved parent. 19ApplicationRemember the aspects of development by keeping and glancing over the reminder cards.

Utilize your email calendars or personal calendars by scheduling time to spend with your adolescent(s) at least once a week.

20Questions/Comments

Is there any information we did not present that you think should go in our next presentation better for the next parent group?

Kendra and I are both available for individual consultation and/or questions via email and/or phone.21References Cline, Foster, & Fay, Jim. (2006). Parenting teens with love and logic. Colorado Springs, CO: Navpress Pub Group.

Fritz, G. (2009, June). The economic crisis is our children's crisis too. Brown University Child & Adolescent Behavior Letter, p. 8. Retrieved from Academic Search Complete database.

Get Organized: A guide to preventing teen pregnancy (Volume 1). (1999). Washington, DC: The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy.

Jaffe, M. L. (1998). Adolescence. New York: John Wiley & Sons, Inc. ISBN: 0-471-57190-3.

Reamer, F., & Siegel, D. (2009). Guiding families in choosing the right intervention for their struggling teen. Brown University Child & Adolescent Behavior Letter, 25(5), 1-6. Retrieved from Academic Search Complete database.

Ten communication strategies for parents of teenagers. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.eckerdacademy.org/articles/ten-communication-strategies-for-parents-of-teenagers.html.

Towns, E. L., & Earley, D. (2010). Praying for your children. Shippensburg, PA: Destiny Image Publishers, Inc.

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